“The solipsist disquietude of consciousness, seeing itself in all its adventures, a captive of itself, comes to an end here: true exteriority is in this gaze which forbids my conquest. Not that conquest is beyond my too weak powers, but I am no longer able to have power, Je ne peux plus pouvoir.”
Joey Porter's Pit Bulls like Plex and all, but when he was with the Steelers, he had a maddening tendency to ... well, let's just say, he'd get lackadaisical at the oddest moments.
"I've been getting a lot of contacts about it; I've heard about it," Cowher said Wednesday, according to the Associated Press. "But I've got a job here."Yeah, sure, you have a job here. Today. And we have some real estate in
Actually, Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls heard from a “good source” back in December 2005, before the Steelers won the Super Bowl, that a friend of a friend has a daughter who is a friend of one of Bill Cowher’s daughters … who revealed that no matter what happened with the rest of the 2005 season, Mr. Bill was planning to buy a home in the Raleigh area and move on to his alma mater, North Carolina State, as the head football coach and Athletic Director ... sort of a Joe Paterno type of job. But it would be a nice, low-pressure position at a basketball-first school in an area where he has connections and present the opportunity for him to stamp his imprimatur as possibly a turn-around artist. Or not.
If you are one of the two or three people who visit Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls, you probably also read Kissing Suzy Kolber. A belated tip of the hat to The Christmas Ape, who penned a fine opine on the incessant Christmas-season chain-jewelry commercials. We couldn’t have said it better ourselves, so we won’t …
It’s Ravens Week. Which means it’s Browns Week Redux, since the Ravens are the Original Browns, having been violently uprooted and transplanted to Bal’more in 1996 … after that turd Robert Irsay violently uprooted and transplanted the Baltimore Colts in 1984 to
Anyway, we digress.
Okay, let’s get this straight:
The question is, “Do the Steelers have the personnel (wide receivers) and schemes (spread offense) to do it?”
And the answer is, “Yes”
That is, “If they have the balls to do it.”
Attack, that is, repeatedly and aggressively, and once again, the answer should be, “Yes.”
The Ravens’ defense was constructed specifically to defeat the Steelers … the Steelers of the Jerome Bettis era, that is.
The Ravens defense is built from the inside out, with two brutes in the middle up front, and other talented personnel: Adalius Thomas is a major force at linebacker; Trevor Pryce and Terrell Suggs are speed rushers (and the Steelers have had problems with that type of pass rusher); Bart Scott has emerged as a fine player; Chris McAllister is a an opportunistic ball hawk at corner and Ed Reed is arguably the second-best safety in the league, behind a certain individual of Samoan descent.
Still. It used to be that the way to beat the Ravens was to run right at Ray Lewis, who is a thug but a punk, too.
However, this year’s Steelers offense, like it or not, is a speed offense.
So they might as well use it, as they did in the fourth quarter at
The Ravens’ front seven can be exploited with speed, misdirection, spread formations, no-huddle looks, etc.
The Steelers can win this game, if they don’t let the Ravens’ defense dictate the tempo and tone of the game. The Steelers can and should use quick counts, short drops and rollouts to keep the Ravens off-balance by torturing their weak spot, which is a lack of depth in the secondary, and one particular cornerback who is well past his prime — Samari Rolle. This could be a breakout game for Santonio Holmes. Just sayin’.
Let’s not overlook something, though. This game may well hinge on special teams, and, with B.J. Sams, the Ravens have one of the best return men in the league. The Steelers have to figure out a way to snuff punt and kickoff returns. Hey! Jeff Reed! Chris Gardocki! Coverage and return teams! Get your axe together!
When the Ravens have the ball, expect to see a lot of Steve McNair to Derrick Mason and Todd Heap, both of whom are fine receivers. But the Steelers’ defense should be able to contain the
And therein lays hope. Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls have every reasonable expectation that Brian Billick, the offensive genius, will outsmart himself on Sunday. We don’t know how, when or in what way he’ll do it … but we fully expect him to outsmart himself.
The Steelers will win this game.
Oh, and one other thing: This is our country. Congratulations.
If you're ever in Dallas, we recommend
that you make time to visit the
Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza.
Oh, and there's this tidbit, as noted on
A Large Regular:
Pitt alumnus (?), former Cleveland Brownie and
Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls love the Dawg Pound.
It’s not that we’re combative or anything … but it’s just so much fun to encounter guys with dog masks who think they’re BAD; and then, despite ourselves, stay out of jail.
The real Dawg Pound died with Municipal Stadium, just as the old Browns franchise died when Art Modell highjacked it to
We haven’t been to the new Browns Stadium, which looks nice, but take our word for it, Municipal Stadium was not nice. Anything but.
“Barely controlled riot” would be the words to describe the Dawg Pound during Steelers-Browns games. Never mind the disgusting, overflowing restrooms. Never mind the continuing jawing and woofing between fans from
No, there are memories of sounds, too, such as, for instance, the distinctive crack of a revolver … in the stands, mind you … which triggered a massive response from Cleveland’s Finest and even more brawling fueled by testosterone, drugs and alcohol.
Real. Surreal. Hyper-real.
Ah, the memories.
Good times ... good times, indeed, and stories aplenty for the Thanksgiving dinner table.
It's Browns Week. Ugh.Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls have been struggling a bit, lately, trying to understand just why John Mellencamp’s song, “Our Country,” for the current series of Chevy Truck commercials is so annoying. Based on what we’ve been reading on many of the more popular sports-related blogs, others in the blogosphere share our sentiment.
Do we have anything against Chevy Trucks? Not really. But the song itself, and the accompanying video in all the commercials, is extremely irritating. Why?
Maybe it’s because the commercials seem to appear during every single break in action during NFL games. That may be our imagination, but the frequency with which they appear is way, way over the top. Secondly, the song itself isn’t that good. Some words come to mind:
Contrived: The song reeks of having been contrived specifically to shill for GM while simultaneously promoting Mellencamp’s faltering career.
Trite: “Our Country” panders in the worst way to base sentiment. Insipid. Ugh:
Bombastic: Its anthemic pretensions are comical. The song is more jingle than anthem:
There's room enough here
For science to live
Question: What the fuck is that? Answer: Lame lyrics.
And the ones that run this land
Will help the poor and common man
Yeah, right. You just keep telling yourself that, asswipe. The ones that run this land? Like GM? Or aging, pretentious rock stars?
Annoying twit.
“Soul is the ability to make people feel better, no matter their situation.”Congrats to Drew Brees, who played a tremendous game and, now that his mother, Mina Brees, lost the race for the Third Circuit Court of Appeals in
A one-fingered salute to Chris Gardocki for continuing to suck.
Congratulations to Ryan Clark for two fumble recoveries.
Congratulations to Troy Polamalu for continuing his history of concussions. Get better, Troy.
From the
This is our country.”
Whose country?
More thoughts on this later.
Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls are perplexed. The Steelers are 2-6, and the Saints are 6-2. So, who’s favored? Well, the Steelers, of course! By 4½ points, for cryin’ out loud. We don’t get it. The Steelers have given no indication they can beat the Morningside Bulldogs, let alone a decent team like the Saints. The Saints are no fluke. On offense, the totally rebuilt offensive line has held together, and the Saints have five big-time skill position players: Drew Brees, Deuce McAllister, Joe Horn, Marques Holston and Reggie Bush. Expect to see lots of spread formations and swing passes to put Bush out in space, in the open field (hey! … there’s an idea -- maybe the Steelers could do something similar with Willie Parker!).
The Saints’ defense has played pretty well, too, as have the special teams (oh-oh!)
Prediction? We have no clue. See the post below.
Take it from one who knows. Betting on football is bad business. Except for the bookies and casinos.There’s a reason why bookies drive Caddies and bettors drive Chevvies, if not Chevy trucks (fuck you, Mellencamp). This, from a guy who watched a bet that was “won” go maddeningly bad … and ended up losing money on the infamous Cal-Stanford game that ended with a football being spiked in one of the many tubas on the field. Yeah, that game. Which made me a loser for all eternity and the reason I quit betting football some years ago.
But that shouldn’t deter you.
So, let’s make a bet: Will the Stanford football Cardinal win a game this year? Stanford currently stands at 0-9. Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls are interested in Stanford’s fortunes this year because the Coach Death Watch is on. And the head coach at Stanford is Walt Harris, the arrogant prick who formerly coached the Pitt Panthers.
At Pitt, he built a finesse team with undersized lines on both sides of the ball, which Dave Wannstedt inherited, a team that continues to wilt under pressure from football powers such as, oh, shall we say, South Florida (?!)
So, even if Stanford does manage to win a game this year, Walt “Offensive Genius” Harris is almost certain to be fired immediately after the season, if not sooner.
Wanna bet on it eactly when that will happen?
It’s kind of like Mad magazine’s Spy vs. Spy cartoon series … or not. Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls wanted to title this post, “A Tale of Two Deuces” (“Duces”?) or “Deuces Wild” (“Duces Wild”??), but Spelling Integrity sat on our collective shoulders and frowned disapprovingly.
Anyway, it’s unfair at this point to do a Deuce McAllister vs. Duce Staley comparison -- so let’s get right to it.
Let’s see, Deuce McAllister is a badass; a gasher (love that word), but able to run tough, between the tackles. Not at all deterred by the arrival of Reggie Bush, he of the “hot sauce” ankle and -5 rushing yards last week.
Will Mina Brees contest the election results
for the Third Court of Appeals in
Will Joe Horn bring his cell phone?
Will Reggie Bush get some extra “hot sauce” for that ailing ankle?
Will Deuce McAllister outplay Duce Staley?
Will the three rivers flood?
Will Katrina and the Waves sing the national anthem?
The Mighty MJD is way more entertaining:
“What poses a greater problem for the NFL? Protecting Jerramy Stevens’ coin purse, or Joey Porter threatening to OJ an official on the field of play?”
Joey Porter’s pit bulls did their civic duty and voted today … just not for the mother of
You’ve probably heard about his mother, who is running for office in
According to the Austin American-Statesman, “Drew Brees said that when he heard about the spots, he called his mother and asked her to stop them. She did not return his calls or stop using his image, he said, and his agent sent her a letter Oct. 20 threatening legal action.”
Another example of democracy in action. Now, if we could only get it to work as well in
And Joey Porter? Hey! I’m talking to you!! If you’re going to get fined $15,000 — and that’s $15K less raw meat for the pit bulls, asswipe — at least get fined for something more interesting than mouthing off to the officials. Unless, that is, you want to release the transcript. Which, since we are Joey Porter’s pit bulls, we have:
“Awwhhh, dog! Hell the fuck no! Fuck that!!! I said, fuck that! And your ol’ lady, but I already done her, ‘n yo’ mama!!!”
Shee-it, you get fined $15K for that? You slippin, dude.
Watching this game reminded me of the masochistic Jehova's Witness ... He kept slamming the door in his own face.
Oh. And in case you didn't know already: "This is our country." Mellenfuck.
I was tempted to name this blog “Lil’ Angry,” the nickname for former Pirates outfielder and current Cubs coach Gene Clines. Bob Prince (aka "The Gunner"), the late, great Pirates' announcer, named Clines "Lil' Angry" for his style of play, which evoked an ebbing, barely contained fury. Lil' Angry was last seen in a Cubs uniform, however, so fuck 'im. I still kinda like his nickname, though, because,well, I'm just a little angry ... pretty much all the time. Kinda like Joey Porter's pit bulls.
