FEAR NOT THE JAGUARS

Let’s send these foul beasts
back into the abyss
from which they came.

About Last Night

Not sure what happened, exactly, but we heard some good speeches last night.

Edwards: A well-delivered speech. Delivered with confidence and power, yet heartfelt and genuine. Stayed on message (“America Rising”); consistently on point. Didn’t miss a beat. Very impressive. Inspired confidence.

Huckabee: Kind of an aw-shucks style, almost avuncular. First impression was that he seemed almost surprised to be there. Chuck Norris and the hot blonde bombshell standing behind him with their dazzlingly white choppers, were distracting. Huckabee seems to do better in Q&A format. Deceptively deft, however, and extremely clever. This guy is not to be underestimated or sold short. We were wondering when the “I♥Huckabee” buttons are going to show up, but his target constituency probably wouldn’t go for that shit.

Romney: What a stiff. His sons look like Stepford kids. A little creepy. It’s funny how he dodges the topic of religion – runs away from it – while Huckabee turns that shit around on Romney, to Huckabee’s great advantage, by putting it front and center in his defining tagline: “Faith. Family. Freedom.” So, at least he’s upfront about what he believes. Huckabee says, “My faith is my life – it defines me. My faith doesn't influence my decisions, it drives them.” Romney, eh, not so much, you don’t know what he believes. You don't get the feeling that Romney is genuine. People see through that shit.

Hillary: Arrogant. Another phony. All spin. Madeleine Albright and Bubba in the background were distracting. Hillary might as well have staggered off the stage. She looked done. Toast. She and her campaign are powerful enough, however, that they’ll be back. With a vengeance. She’s just not very likeable. And she and her henchmen likely will get very nasty, very soon.

Obama: Soaring, inspirational oratory. The best speech of the night, by far. Delivered his speech with JFKish rhythmic cadence. Very impressive. “This is not about red states and blue states. It’s about the United States.” Made you sit right up and just about jump out of your chair. Seriously – downright inspirational.