Thursday, September 18, 2008

Have You Ever Been to Philadelphia?

As the Steelers move from Cleveland to Philadelphia and continue their world tour of world-class shithole cities -- what's next, Mogadishu? -- Mike & Mike (Greenberg & Golic) are in Philthydelphia, too, broadcasting their inane ESPN talk show. We should all have jobs like that. No, on second thought ...

Anyway, Joey Porter's Pit Bulls are feeling less optimistic about the game on Sunday than we were earlier in the week. If Big Ben were fully healthy, we'd feel better. On the other hand, Big Ben is kinda like Jethro Bodean of The Beverly Hillbillies. Nothing seems to faze him. Just give him a big plate of ham-hocks, pig's feet and grits, and he'll be fine.

Now, talking ourselves back into optimism -- and don't you just love how we (I) constantly use the "editorial we"? We (I) have identity issues. Sometimes, I (we) feel like all the characters in The Wizard of Oz, all at once -- anyway, what we (I) -- Joey Porter's Pit Bulls -- have a hunching suspicion about this game, on the side of optimism, is that Eagles QB Donovan McNabb is due to immolate, self-destruct. He's just due. Something's going to happen. Maybe he'll get a bad cheese-steak on Saturday night. Maybe MTV will re-run his feature on Cribs. Something.

Something will set him off. Get him off his game.

Maybe James Harrison. Silverback. Yeah, that could work.

The photo, by the way, is of an Eagles fan. At least he got something right.


Pretty much anything on the blogroll to the right, but ...

Hockey, Football & Stiletto Shoes: Just because.

One for the Other Thumb: Always.

Pittsburgh Sports & Mini-Ponies: Also, always a Must-Read, every day.

And, finally, if you find Mormons weird, bizarre and/or annoying, this classic from Big Daddy Drew at Kissing Suzy Kolber.

God Bless Joey Porter

If Joey Porter wasn't Joey Porter, this blog wouldn't exist. And we would have struggled to find something to write about today (Sarah Palin's e-mail? The Pirates?).
But, thank God, Joey Porter just keeps talking. ... Joey Porter's past his prime on a bad team, but he just can't help himself.

Joey Porter, of course, is quoted as saying about Patriots' quarterback Matt Cassell that he's not Tom Brady (no shit?) and that ...
"You treat him like you treat a backup," Porter said. "How do you prepare for a backup? He don't get that many snaps, right? So you throw the kitchen sink at him. That's what we're going to do."
Well, good luck with that, Peezy. The Patriots still have Randy Moss, Wes Welker, and the Evil Genius, but more than that ... Joey Porter's Pit Bulls have been impressed with Matt Cassell as a quarterback in his own right.

We haven't seen all that much of him, but just conclude: He's pretty good. He's poised; he's got a tight, smooth throwing motion; he is patient in the pocket; he seems to have good field vision; his arm is strong enough; and his throws seem to be crisp and accurate. And he runs pretty well. He's a good quarterback.

Not Tom Brady. But pretty good. Dismiss all the talk that he hasn't started a game since his senior year in high school. He went to USC (how bad could he be?). And he backed up glamour QBs Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart. And might end up being a better pro than either of them.

NOT that any of this makes us happy. We can't stand the Patriots. For all that ... if Matt Cassell goes down to injury, well, look out.
Joey Porter, just what exactly what did you mean when you said, "You treat him like a backup"?