The Cleveland Browns Suck

The Browns suck and are a rolling clown car of a franchise.

Here's how the 2014 season will shake out: Early excitement, as Browns' fans love Johnny Manziel, and he enjoys sporadic flashes of success while generally having trouble adjusting to the speed and complexity of the NFL game. Cleveland struggles on offense. Manziel lasts five games before head coach Mike Pettine turns to Brian Hoyer. Hoyer sucks, too, and the Browns do little on offense.

Owner Jimmy Haslam gets called before a grand jury. Manziel goes to Vegas and signs with MTV as the star of his own reality show. On defense, the Browns' corners turn out to be not all they're cracked up to be. Manziel is reinstated as the starting quarterback. Cleveland finishes 4-12.

During the off-season, Haslam announces that Pettine has been fired, along with general manager Ray Farmer, and that Manziel has been traded to the Toronto Bills, who immediately name him the starting quarterback for the 2015 season opener vs. the London Jaguars.

Cleveland fans cry.

More Intrigue involving the Cleveland Clowns "Braintrust"

The Cleveland Browns may take the prize for having the most bizarre and fascinating off-season in the NFL. Browns' owner Jimmy Haslam has set a tone of clownish buffoonery, and the franchise's off-season has been marked by false steps, mis-steps, blatant incompetence, tomfoolery, chicanery, skulduggery and hijinks of the most eyebrow-raising, head-shaking sort.

"Dysfunctional" has been the word most used in connection with the Browns, from the firing of head coach Rob Chudzinski, to the hiring of his replacement all the way through the front-office house-cleaning and now the latest story, which involves a possible trade for 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh.

Considering Haslam's recent past as part of  the Steelers' ownership structure, Joey Porter's Pit Bulls can't help but wonder if he hasn't also had Mike Tomlin in his sights as a potential head coach -- and that would be maybe an even bigger coup than landing Harbaugh, considering that Tomlin has actually won a Super Bowl and is the current head coach of Cleveland's arch-rival.

For all that idle speculation, maybe a guy named Clowney would be the perfect first-round draft choice for the dysfunctional Browns. And Jadeveon Clowney just might be that draft choice, fourth overall. Based on his workout Monday at the NFL Combine, Clowney may go even higher than that -- but there are lots of questions associated with his work ethic and on-field productivity.

The more intriguing story is in Cleveland. On Friday, Mike Florio of ProFootballTalk and NBC Sports broke the story that the Browns initiated and conducted serious discussions with the San Francisco 49ers involving a possible trade of players, draft picks and cash for head coach Jim Harbaugh. The story has gained legs, and legitimacy, ever since.

Maybe the clownish buffoonery we've seen this off-season from Cleveland owner Jimmy Haslam is just a smokescreen. For all we know, the truck-stop titan who found himself under a cloud of possible indictment last October may be Jethro Bodine smart, if the talk out of San Francisco and Cleveland the past dew days is any indication.

For insight into the scenario involving Haslam's overtures to the 49ers regarding Jim Harbaugh, the San Francisco Chronicle's Ann Killion offers excellent context here. For all the success he's had in San Francisco the past few years, apparently Harbaugh is not generally well-liked, according to Ms. Killion:

The past few days have been all about Jim Harbaugh. He has trumped Johnny Football, Vladimir Putin, Jason Collins and even Tonya-and-Nancy. Which is just the way he likes it. Because, as Harbaugh knows, you can't spell, "the team, the team, the team," without "me, me, me."

And then there's this from Ms. Killion, which makes us wonder about Mike Tomlin's contract status:

"Harbaugh has two years left on a contract that pays him $5 million a year. Maybe he's not worth as much as Sean Payton, the league's highest-paid coach who has won a Super Bowl, but Harbaugh is worth more in the current NFL marketplace than he's making. He hasn't won a Super Bowl - and his team wasn't as good in 2013 as it was in 2012 - but he has rescued the 49ers' reputation and been to three straight conference-championship games. Yet he isn't among the top 10 highest-paid coaches in the NFL. He makes the same as Dallas' Jason Garrett, less than the Eagles' Chip Kelly and is the third-highest-paid coach in his division."

Stay tuned.

The Combine

It's a bit early to get too excited about what's been happening so far at the NFL Combine. The sort of superficial impressions athletes running around in the "Underwear Olympics" can be misleading.  Too many great athletes are so-so football players.

"Looks like Tarzan, plays like Jane" is an aphorism famously used to describe such players.

Initial impressions:

• We wonder about the Steelers' process at the Combine. Last year, they did not interview linebacker Jarvis Jones at the Combine. Kevin Colbert said it was because the Steelers thought Jones wouldn't drop to them at No. 17. Wouldn't you want to interview all potential first-rounders? Just in case? Maybe there's not enough time, but then again, we are talking about your first-rounder -- the potential linchpin of your team for years to come, and a multi-million dollar investment.

• Johnny Manziel looks small, but that was apparent before the Combine. Gut instinct says he will have a tough time staying healthy on a consistent basis. On the other hand, Fran Tarkenton had an extremely lengthy career, albeit in the pre-steroid, pre-HGH era. Still, we're skeptical about Manziel.

• Jimmy Haslam, owner of the Cleveland Browns, uses a flip phone. A shot of him in the skybox over the weekend clearly showed him flipping open a feature phone and, apparently, either not getting a signal or dismissing a message or call, as he flipped it closed again in what seemed to be annoyance. How did the Rooneys ever allow him to buy into their operation? No wonder they put up no resistance to him buying the Browns. Joey Porter's Pit Bulls almost feel sorry for Cleveland fans, some of whom are good people. Haslam creates the impression of a not-too-bright, fast-talking scammer-buffoon who somehow finagled his way into a possibly bogus fortune. Maybe he's not the best owner in the NFL. It won't be long before he threatens to move the team. London's calling.

• We won't be surprised if "Johnny Football" Manziel ends up in Cleveland. That would be interesting.

• By all accounts, Michael Sam got an A-plus for how he conducted himself in the news conference. It's just the first step on a long, tough road ahead for him.

• Wide receiver Michael Evans caught everything and impressed everybody. He's big and fast. Lots of other impressive wide receivers showed their stuff, too. It's a deep draft for wide receivers.