“We are currently analyzing all the conversations we were able to obtain from our hidden microphones at Steelers headquarters and the wiretapped phones of Steelers coaches and players. We’ve also been busy going over the intercepted e-mails our IT guys forwarded to us, as well as their game plans that our in-house hackers have been able to pick up from the Steelers’ computer systems.”
“We’re confident we know what the Steelers plan to do. We have a few surprises planned for them. I'll just say this: Daniel Sepulveda, their punter, better get his kicks off a hell of a lot quicker than he’s been doing. Methinks a blocked punt early in the game would rattle his cage, set the tone and really get our fans involved."
"I’d like that. I really would.”