The Baltimore Ray-vens

Here is all you need to know about Ray Rice and the Baltimore Ravens AND Roger Goodell and his NFL:

Ray Rice -- ELEVATOR KNOCKOUT ... Fiancee Takes Crushing Punch [Video] - Watch More Celebrity Videos or Subscribe

From one Ray-Ray accused of murder, to Ray Rice, shown in the video above.

And all the apologists surrounding this very ugly Ray/Janay incident.

It's time for Roger Goodell to resign.
From the way Goodell handled the New England Cheatriots' "Spygate" B.S. to the way he failed to handle the New Orleans Saints' "Bountygate" crap, to the rules changes, the over-saturation of the NFL on TV, all the way through the toothless drug policy, HGH, PEDs testing, to Richie Incognito, to the disingenuous and backpedaling domestic violence policy, and now this.  Goodell's got to go.

Goodell's got some 'splaining to do.

Ray Rice Got Off Easy

What's up with Roger Goodell?  If there was a time to send a message ... but, no.

Ray Rice gets a two-game suspension for that?  Ravens fans must be happy.

Come on, Roger. Maybe Goodell figured a stiffer suspension might hurt sales of NFL merchandise, specifically Rice's $59.95 pink jersey styled for women.

Maybe Goodell figured that since, after all, Janay appeared at that ridiculous, theater-of-the-absurd press conference the Ravens staged a couple months ago -- the one where Janay actually somehow apologized for putting her face in the way of Rice's fist -- well, maybe Goodell figured that counts for something.

Ray Rice and Janay should both watch Will's Story, which is Steeler cornerback William Gay's account of how, as an eight-year-old, he lost his mother to an abusive step-dad.

The Ravens have had five players arrested this off-season. That's almost 10 percent of their roster. Ravens will be cheering Rice when he returns to the field in September.

Congratulations, Roger Goodell. You've fixed the NFL's image problem. Go ahead, brush the next incident under the rug.

Mr. Goodell's Funhouse: The London Patriots vs. the Santa Clara Raiders?

There's something 1984/Orwellian about this
picture of Roger Goodell speaking at
yesterday's grand opening of
Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara.
Photo credit:
Karl Mondon/Bay Area News Group

Roger Goodell is full of ... ideas.

Amend that: Goodell and his full-time team of actuaries, lawyers,  marketers, broadcast-rights execs and media minions are full of ... ideas.

A team in London, one in Toronto and another in Los Angeles? Sure, why not?  In fact, according to various reports, New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft yesterday endorsed the idea of an NFL Franchise in London, reports Mike Wilkening at ProFootballTalk:

"Speaking at an event promoting CBS’ “Thursday Night Football,” Kraft said putting a team in London by decade’s end ought to be a goal the NFL strives 'very hard' to achieve, according to Marc Sessler of NFL Media."

Okay, Mr. Kraft, here's an idea: How about the London Patriots? Huh? How's that sound?  You'd have to admit, it would be a bit ironic, eh? It would give a whole new meaning to "Patriot Nation."

Other prizes up for grabs from Mr. Goodell's Carnival Spinning Wheel of Fun 'n Money game:

• The 2015 NFL Draft will be in either Los Angeles or Chicago, Goodell pronounced yesterday. You want to bet that the draft will spread over three or four days? 

• More games in more places.  Games on Saturday, Saturday night, Sunday,  Sunday night, Monday night, Thursday night and, for all we know, an expansion of the calendar to eight days a week to accommodate even more games. Why not? 

• And, last but not least, the Oakland Raiders perpetual stadium mess? Well, Goodell suggests, maybe the Raiders can play their home games in the 49ers sparkling new high-tech palace, Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara, which just had its grand opening ceremony yesterday.

San Francisco  49ers fans must love that last idea. Inviting the Raiders and their fans to Levi's Stadium would be like inviting Bluto and his Animal House frat mates over to Dean Wormer's Sunday afternoon tea party for distinguished alumni.

Talk about a tarantula on a slice of angel food cake at a garden party.*

*Metaphor credit: Raymond Chandler 

The Green Machine: Roger Goodell's NFL Carousel Year-round, Around-the-clock Money Machine

Headed by Roger Goodell and pushed by back-room drivers like Jerry Jones, Daniel Snyder, Zygi Wolf, et al, today's National Football League (NFL) -- the business -- does nothing that is not calculated.

"What's up with that, Dude?"

So, the announcement that the balmy, tropical resort known as Minneapolis has been selected to host the 2018 Super Bowl ... how much do you want to bet that event is held in March or even April 2018? ... ostensibly pushed back by the soon-to-be-expanded  playoffs that will churn, churn, churn cha-ching bling -- never mind diluting the ever-diminshing quality of the "product" being pushed to eager consumers of increasingly pricey cable television, which is likely to morph into pay-per-view -- and how much you want to bet that's not too far down the road? Pay-per-view, that is.

With an 18-game regular season and the soon-to-be expanded playoffs pushing the Super Bowl into March, the NFL will have a ready-made excuse to finish what it started this year, which was to push the three-day NFL Draft into May.

Expanded playoffs and a later Super Bowl almost guarantee a permanent later date for the NFL Draft, pushed back again, even further into May, and held over the course of four or even five days in multiple cities ... well, it just shows to go you that this year's charade of what was supposedly the NFL supposedly being forced to reschedule the draft because of a "schedule conflict" at Radio City Music Hall ... it really was a charade.

Meanwhile, Minnesota has been "rewarded" for building an extravagant, $1 billion taxpayer-funded stadium. Next up on the stadium roulette wheel: Buffalo, Oakland, Jacksonville, Atlanta.

Toronto, London and even far-off, exotic Los Angeles beckon.

The NFL Cesspool: Sheer Ugliness, Painted With a Very Broad Brush

Sometimes Joey Porter's Pit Bulls can't help but wonder what we're supporting with our cable TV payments and emotional/financial investment in the NFL. As much as we love the game itself ...

It's getting tougher and tougher to buy what the NFL is selling.

If you're a fan of the NFL, we recommend you read the entire "REPORT TO THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE CONCERNING ISSUES OF WORKPLACE CONDUCT AT THE MIAMI DOLPHINS."  Read the whole damn thing. All 144 pages.

And if you watch the NFL Network, you may have noticed the terse mention on Friday of Darren Sharper. He faces ugly criminal charges that are about as ugly as ugly gets without the word "murder" involved, as in the case of Aaron Hernandez.

Words that come to mind thinking about the NFL in the wake of these most recent stories: Shameful, despicable, sordid, criminal, idiotic, vile, base, offensive, disturbing, off-putting. Cesspool.

The report on the Dolphins was compiled by a law firm hired by the NFL to present findings on the escapades of the oafish Richie Icognito and his pals, Mike "Free Hernandez" Pouncey (twin brother of Steelers' center Maurkice "Free Hernandez" Pouncey), John Jerry and, apparently, the entire Dolphins coaching staff and management organization. If the coaches deny it, they're lying.

The Pouncey twins, wearing their cute little
"Free Hernandez" hats expressing their support of
accused murderer
Aaron Hernandez, former NFL player

The report makes clear and lays bare the sheer ugliness in Miami, and you can be pretty sure we're still not getting any near the full story. As columnist Greg Stoda of the Miami Herald wrote, "Forget locker-room mentality; the Miami Dolphins have a prison-yard mentality."

When all this broke a few months ago, any number of Incognito apologists made the point that the sort of behavior described in the report is common across the NFL, as if that makes it okay. If so, let's keep in mind our cable TV dollars pay for the precious "locker room culture" and lifestyle of the players described in the report.

Richie Incognito made nearly $5 million last year alone, even with the suspension. The 24-year-old Pouncey made nearly $3 million, and Jerry made more than $1.5 million. Five million dollars in one calendar year: In what other line of work could the incomprehensibly stupid, oafish, porcine, boorish, loutish, obtuse, bullying, dense Incognito make that kind of money?

And you wonder why your cable bill is so high?

How some people are able to maintain jobs is a wonder. You'd think Stephen Ross, the billionaire owner of the Dolphins, would want to clean house. Fire everybody. Sever ties with all the coaches and several players, including Incognito, Pouncey and Jerry and probably others.

Does Richie Incognito and his pals have sisters, mothers, wives and/or girlfriends? What do those women think about their boys now? The same guys who "jokingly" threatened to assault and gang-rape the sister and mother of Jonathan Martin, who threatened to kill Martin (even as fellow NFL player Aaron Hernandez [he of the "Free Hernandez" cap worn by the Pouncey twins] faces murder charges), and who threatened to shit in his mouth?

Karma has a way of swinging around on people. There is no way to polish the turds that Richie Incognito and his pals threatened to shit in the mouth of Jonathan Martin and fling at others in positions of weakness, including rookie players and the assistant trainer who happens to be of Japanese descent. If any NFL team adds Incognito to its roster, shame on them. They will have relinquished any claim to the word "character" ever again.

And then there's the NFL Network, the league's own. Darren Sharper, presumably, won't be on the NFL Network anytime soon. We'll just have to rely on Michael Irvin, Warren Sapp,. et al,  for the kind of precious insight, pithy wit, jocular mirth and "expert analysis" we just can't get anywhere else. Yeah.

Friday was a dark day for the NFL, and it's getting tougher and tougher to feel good about so much that the NFL presents. Why are we supporting these people anyway?  Roger Goodell?

Links:

Greg Doyel, CBS Sports: "After Richie Incognito Gets a Taste of His Own Medicine ..."

Slate: "The Best Report on Bullying Ever"

Will Brinson: "Dolphins Lack Leadership from Top to Bottom"

Deadspin:  "Darren Sharper Allegedly Drugged, Raped Women in Four States"

William Rhoden, The New York Times: "A Vile and Graphic Report"

The Sacramento Bee: "Harbaugh: Jonathan Martin Can Resume Successful NFL Career"

Ante up for Courtroom Poker in the NFL's Concussion Settlement

More courtroom antics coming: The news that a federal judge in Philadelphia ruled the NFL's $765 million settlement looked, well, uh, too low ... it's interesting. And the ruling sounds right. That figure's too low.

Apparently the judge sniffed all the cologne worn by Roger Goodell's minions of lawyers, turned up her nose and said, "Something stinks."

Now to follow: more arguments, legal tedium, tomfoolery, hijinks, shenanigans, chicanery, tomfoolery and skullduggery. Sounds like torture, although the lawyers will get paid handsomely, and, in the end, we'll pay for it all with higher cable bills.

We wouldn't be surprised if the judge eventually tells the NFL's attorneys to take that $765 million figure, multiply it by at least 10 and use that $7.65 billion figure as a starting point for further discussion.

Has the NFL Jumped the Shark?

This post will go over like a Led Balloon; skip it if you don't want to read anything negative about the NFL.

First, let's be clear: Joey Porter's Pit Bulls remain passionate and emotionally invested in football generally and the NFL in particular.

We love the game of football that appeals to the kid in all of us who played ball in the backyard, in the street, on oil-slicked rock-hard fields, in high school, in college, in highly competitive venues, in crazy situations of all kinds. Intensely. We love football.

But ... this latest bullshit with the oafish, reptilian Richie Incognito and his ignorant apologists is yet another major turnoff in a series of diminishing returns.

The NFL is perilously close to jumping the shark.

As heretical as it sounds, the NFL has lost some of its patina that appeals to the kid in all of us.

The NFL is a multi-billion dollar business. During Roger Goodell's tenure as commissioner, it feels like the NFL sold it soul somewhere along the way.

It's increasingly tough to overlook ... 
the golden goose that is television, with its ceaseless fawning, incessant babble, over-saturation of coverage, Thursday night games, Sunday night games, late-season Saturday games, Monday night double-headers -- oh, and, of course, the all-too-frequent and lengthy commercial breaks during games -- the NFL doesn't seem so special and fun anymore.

It's increasingly tough to overlook ...
performance-enhancing drugs, steroids and human growth hormone; absurd rules changes; rampant bounties; institutionalized extortion, thuggery, hazing, browbeating as "initiation" rites; concussions, CET, brain damage and early-onset dementia; designated "strike zones;" deliberately targeted knee hits prompted by the new rules governing upper-body hits; constant and eternal roster attrition from injuries, injuries and more injuries; the continuous legal squabbling; the ridiculous regular-season games in London and Roger Goodell's continuing threat to move franchises to London (from Jacksonville and maybe other cities) and Toronto (from Buffalo).

It's increasingly tough to overlook ... 
the many, many player arrests (from the seriously disturbing Aaron Hernandez  murder case to the insanely absurd Alameda Ta'amu incident on Pittsburgh's South Side); cretins like Michael Vick; blockheads like Riley Cooper; jerk owners like Jerry Jones, Zygi Wolf and Dan Snyder; asshole coaches like Rex Ryan, Joe Philbin, Greg Schiano, Gregg Williams, Bill Bellichick, et al; Todd Haley and his wife; the selfies; the constant Tweets by clueless self-absorbed idiotic athletes, self-imporant talking heads and former-player blowhard "analysts" like Ray Lewis, Michael Irvin and Warren Sapp; the breathless bloggers, the uber-analytical Pro Football Focus Sabremetric-type "experts" who are about as fun as actuaries ... and so on, and on, and on.

It all detracts, takes its toll, from what used to be a more enjoyable, fun diversion and, yes, a passion that still means a lot to us.

Football is supposed to be a game, but it's got "business" written all over it.

It's as if Roger Goodell and his minions never heard of the adage,"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Joey Porter's Pit Bulls remain deeply invested in the whole scrambling omelette, but ... there is something to be said for perspective and balance, if you will, if not wisdom.

We still watch the Steelers closely, with passion and intensity, but ... we're also watching the Aaron Hernandez and Richie Incognito situations, along with all the other crap, almost as much as we're watching the games.  The bad with the good; you don't get one without the other.