Friday, July 18, 2014

Mr. Goodell's Funhouse: The London Patriots vs. the Santa Clara Raiders?

There's something 1984/Orwellian about this
picture of Roger Goodell speaking at
yesterday's grand opening of
Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara.
Photo credit:
Karl Mondon/Bay Area News Group
Roger Goodell is full of ... ideas.

Amend that: Goodell and his full-time team of actuaries, lawyers,  marketers, broadcast-rights execs and media minions are full of ... ideas.

A team in London, one in Toronto and another in Los Angeles? Sure, why not?  In fact, according to various reports, New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft yesterday endorsed the idea of an NFL Franchise in London, reports Mike Wilkening at ProFootballTalk:
"Speaking at an event promoting CBS’ “Thursday Night Football,” Kraft said putting a team in London by decade’s end ought to be a goal the NFL strives 'very hard' to achieve, according to Marc Sessler of NFL Media."
Okay, Mr. Kraft, here's an idea: How about the London Patriots? Huh? How's that sound?  You'd have to admit, it would be a bit ironic, eh? It would give a whole new meaning to "Patriot Nation."

Other prizes up for grabs from Mr. Goodell's Carnival Spinning Wheel of Fun 'n Money game:
  • The 2015 NFL Draft will be in either Los Angeles or Chicago, Goodell pronounced yesterday. You want to bet that the draft will spread over three or four days? 
  • More games in more places.  Games on Saturday, Saturday night, Sunday,  Sunday night, Monday night, Thursday night and, for all we know, an expansion of the calendar to eight days a week to accommodate even more games. Why not? 
  • And, last but not least, the Oakland Raiders perpetual stadium mess? Well, Goodell suggests, maybe the Raiders can play their home games in the 49ers sparkling new high-tech palace, Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara, which just had its grand opening ceremony yesterday.
San Francisco  49ers fans must love that last idea. Inviting the Raiders and their fans to Levi's Stadium would be like inviting Bluto and his Animal House frat mates over to Dean Wormer's Sunday afternoon tea party for distinguished alumni.

Talk about a tarantula on a slice of angel food cake at a garden party.*
*Metaphor credit: Raymond Chandler 

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