Deuce vs. Duce

It’s kind of like Mad magazine’s Spy vs. Spy cartoon series … or not.

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls wanted to title this post, “A Tale of Two Deuces” (“Duces”?) or “Deuces Wild” (“Duces Wild”??), but Spelling Integrity sat on our collective shoulders and frowned disapprovingly.

Anyway, it’s unfair at this point to do a Deuce McAllister vs. Duce Staley comparison -- so let’s get right to it.

Let’s see, Deuce McAllister is a badass; a gasher (love that word), but able to run tough, between the tackles. Not at all deterred by the arrival of Reggie Bush, he of the “hot sauce” ankle and -5 rushing yards last week.

Duce Staley? The Velveteen (?) sweatsuit with fleece lining that he wears on the sideline looks cushy. Hmmm, Joey Porter’s Pitt Bulls wonder if he uses Big Ben's BBQ Sauce instead of Reggie Bush’s hot sauce … What is Velveteen anyway? Kind of cheesy, like Velveeta? We dunno.