Curtains for the Steelers?

Here's a good article from the New Orleans Times-Picayune.

Deuce vs. Duce

It’s kind of like Mad magazine’s Spy vs. Spy cartoon series … or not.

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls wanted to title this post, “A Tale of Two Deuces” (“Duces”?) or “Deuces Wild” (“Duces Wild”??), but Spelling Integrity sat on our collective shoulders and frowned disapprovingly.

Anyway, it’s unfair at this point to do a Deuce McAllister vs. Duce Staley comparison -- so let’s get right to it.

Let’s see, Deuce McAllister is a badass; a gasher (love that word), but able to run tough, between the tackles. Not at all deterred by the arrival of Reggie Bush, he of the “hot sauce” ankle and -5 rushing yards last week.

Duce Staley? The Velveteen (?) sweatsuit with fleece lining that he wears on the sideline looks cushy. Hmmm, Joey Porter’s Pitt Bulls wonder if he uses Big Ben's BBQ Sauce instead of Reggie Bush’s hot sauce … What is Velveteen anyway? Kind of cheesy, like Velveeta? We dunno.

Questions to Ponder

As the New Orleans Saints prepare to visit Pittsburgh for this week’s hair-pull contest with Troy Polamalu and the Pittsburgh Steelers, a number of questions bear pondering, if not discussion:

Will Mina Brees contest the election results
for the Third Court of Appeals in Texas?

Will Joe Horn bring his cell phone?

Will Reggie Bush get some extra “hot sauce” for that ailing ankle?

Will Deuce McAllister outplay Duce Staley?

Will the three rivers flood?

Will Katrina and the Waves sing the national anthem?

Will the Saints come marching in?

Here Come the Saints

The New Orleans Saints visit Heinz Field on Sunday, and the Steelers are looking for redemption, if not Divine Intervention.

Of course, when the schedule was drawn up, this game looked like an easy win for the Steelers. The Saints, coming off a 3-13 record last season, were in full-blown rebuilding mode with a new coaching staff, a new quarterback, an entirely new offensive line (and how often does that happen?), an entirely new linebacking corps, and one extremely talented rookie poised to make a big impact.

No, not Reggie Bush. Well, besides him.

The rookie making the biggest impact for the Saints -- and maybe in the NFL -- is wide receiver Marques Colston. Drafted in the seventh round out of Hofstra, Colston so far has contributed seven touchdowns (!) and 44 catches for 700 yards ... the exact same number of total yards racked up by Reggie Bush. Colston has been impressive, to say the least. He's big (6'4", 230), fast and rangy. And he plays with a poise that belies his inexperience.

Question: Didn't the Steelers notice this guy when they were viewing Hosfstra game film while scouting tackle Willie Colon, whom they drafted in the fourth round? I mean, what if? Colston sure would look good in Black 'n Gold. What?! Those are the Saints' colors, too? Damn. I hate being colorblind.

All Hail The Mighty MJD!

The Mighty MJD is way more entertaining:

“What poses a greater problem for the NFL? Protecting Jerramy Stevens’ coin purse, or Joey Porter threatening to OJ an official on the field of play?”

Groundhog, er, Election Day

Joey Porter’s pit bulls did their civic duty and voted today … just not for the mother of New Orleans quarterback Drew Brees, who seems like a fine fellow. We wish him a speedy recovery following Sunday’s game against the Steelers at Heinz Field.

You’ve probably heard about his mother, who is running for office in Texas (surprised?). She was using Drew’s image in her campaign ads, despite their having a “nonexistent” relationship for the past six years.

According to the Austin American-Statesman, “Drew Brees said that when he heard about the spots, he called his mother and asked her to stop them. She did not return his calls or stop using his image, he said, and his agent sent her a letter Oct. 20 threatening legal action.”

Another example of democracy in action. Now, if we could only get it to work as well in Iraq.

Not Happy

Joey Porter’s pit bulls are not happy today. No sirreee. Not at all. Not with Peezy, who didn’t show up (again). Not with Ike Taylor, who is now, officially, Javon Walker’s biaatch. Not with Deshea, who got old, all of a sudden, to compound being short. Not with Cedric "Not Entertaining" Wilson, who doesn't know which hand carries the ball whan running along the sideline (hint: it's the one closest to the sideline, dipshit). Not with the turf at Heinz Field, and when are they gonna fix that? And not happy, no, not at all, with two and six.

And Joey Porter? Hey! I’m talking to you!! If you’re going to get fined $15,000 — and that’s $15K less raw meat for the pit bulls, asswipe — at least get fined for something more interesting than mouthing off to the officials. Unless, that is, you want to release the transcript. Which, since we are Joey Porter’s pit bulls, we have:

“Awwhhh, dog! Hell the fuck no! Fuck that!!! I said, fuck that! And your ol’ lady, but I already done her, ‘n yo’ mama!!!”

Shee-it, you get fined $15K for that? You slippin, dude.

Watching this game reminded me of the masochistic Jehova's Witness ... He kept slamming the door in his own face.

Oh. And in case you didn't know already: "This is our country." Mellenfuck.

Welcome ... or not

Welcome to Joey Porter's Pit Bulls. If you didn't know already, they killed a horse. Sure, it was a miniature horse, but that makes it even better.

I was tempted to name this blog “Lil’ Angry,” the nickname for former Pirates outfielder and current Cubs coach Gene Clines. Bob Prince (aka "The Gunner"), the late, great Pirates' announcer, named Clines "Lil' Angry" for his style of play, which evoked an ebbing, barely contained fury. Lil' Angry was last seen in a Cubs uniform, however, so fuck 'im. I still kinda like his nickname, though, because,well, I'm just a little angry ... pretty much all the time. Kinda like Joey Porter's pit bulls.

My priorities and interests may explain this, as I am a lifelong fan of the Pittsburgh Pirates (14 consecutive losing seasons and counting) and Steelers (with a record of 2-5 as of this writing).

If and when I post entries to this blog, they’ll probably be pretty lame but cover sports, mostly, and also some politics, music and urban culture stuff. We’ll see if I stay interested, and whether anybody else is, too. If not, we can always turn loose Joey Porter’s pit bulls.