Allrighty then ...

That was weird.

The Steelers got outplayed last night. Again. Yet they won. Again.

They should just let Big Ben call his own plays. Seriously. Why not? Do it on the fly. He's a quarterback. Come on, let him call his own plays.

And just when Joey Porter's Pit Bulls thought Mewelde Moore was a fraud and totally useless, he made a play. And, blasphemous as it may seem, Thank God for Jeff Reed.

And James "Silverback" Harrison. And Lamarr Woodley. And Troy Polamalu. It should be interesting to watch how the offensive line plays the rest of the way. With Kendall Simmons down, who fits where? Where art yinz, Max Starks?

And, with Rashard Mendenhall out for the season, this draft class looks like a total bust.

By the way, Joe Flacco can play. Uh, just what did former Pitt coach and "quarterback guru" Walt Harris NOT see in this guy? He can play. Balt'more's going to be a contender this year, like it or not.

R.I.P. Paul Newman

Too many deaths this year. It really hit home, literally, on June 3, when my father died suddenly – nine years to the day that my mother had passed away. It was as if he chose the date. Two days after my father’s funeral, my beloved dog Mongo died suddenly.

During the week in advance of my father’s funeral, Bo Diddley died. Then Tim Russert. Then, George Carlin. Later, Bernie Mac. Isaac Hayes. Steeler legends Dwight White and Fats Holmes. CMU Professor Randy Pausch (“The Last Lecture”). The great redneck-hillbilly-outlaw genre actor Jerry Reed. My longtime friend Mickey McGovern, Irish leprechaun and possibly the funniest person I’ve ever met.

Now, Paul Newman. A superb actor and outstanding humanitarian/philanthropist who donated an estimated $250 million to charity from the salad dressing/popcorn business he started as a joke. And, Behind Blue Eyes, he was colorblind. Like me.

“If we are to have faith and justice, we have only to believe in ourselves. And act on behalf of ourselves.”

– Paul Newman, “The Verdict”

Rest in peace, all.

(Addendum: Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls plan to write in more detail about some of these folks at a later date. Hopefully, we won’t die first.)

Excellent Link: Sunset Gun

Favorites, in no particular order:

• The Verdict
• Cool Hand Luke
• The Sting
• Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid
• The Hustler
• Slap Shot

Lots to talk about ...

Not much to say.

Rashard Mendenhall had better be ready.

By the way, Mewelede Moore doesn't like to block.

Limas Sweed? Where are you?

We have a $102 million quarterback and no offensive line.

I'm tired. Life.

Just. Can't. Let. It. Go.

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls don’t know what was worse on Sunday — the coaches’ offensive game plan ... or their lack of adjustments during the game (or, for that matter, Mike Tomlin’s baffling decision to eschew a short field goal and go for it on 4^th and 10 at the end of the game, but that’s another story).

Let’s take a closer look. To hijack repurpose a comment I made over at Cotter’s One for the Other Thumb ...

What the hell was Arians thinking???

Consider: Big Ben dropped back to pass at least 39 times (he actually got the ball off only 25 times, was sacked eight times, had four "runs", took an intentional grounding penalty, and an illegal forward pass penalty). Add the nine dropbacks by Leftwich (eight attempts and one sack), and that's a game plan/execution with 48 dropbacks/pass attempt play calls. 48!! Against that relentless onslaught, and despite the fact that the Eagles started bltzing when they got off the bus. Now, really, whose bright idea was that? And, where were the adjustments during the game???

Where, indeed. And, where were the quick swing passes? The misdirection plays? Any attempt to establish the running game? Where was the coaching? And, of course, the O-line play = BIG FAIL.

Clearly, the game plan wasn't working. And neither were the "adjustments," such as they were. Game planning, game management and offensive coaching = BIGGER FAIL.

• For once, I agree with the Post-Gazette’s Ron Cook.
• And even the Trib-Review (sports only).
• J.J. Cooper over at AOL Fanhouse provides an excellent, detailed analysis of the O-line play.
• Succinct headline at Hockey, Football & Stiletto Shoes..
• And, finally, Nice Pick, Cowher rants at length and offers this gem of a one-liner:

"RT Willie Colon allowed so much penetration he should change his name to Colonoscopy. "

Next up: Baltimore. Oh-oh. What the Hockey, Football & Stiletto Shoes headline said.

Uh, that didn't go so well ...

It's almost too depressing to write about.

Ugly game for the Steelers' offense: Nine official sacks (although it seemed like more), countless hurries and drag-downs, two lost fumbles, a safety, an interception, just 20 yards rushing for Fast Willie, and at least one new injury for Big Ben.

At least Troy Polamalu had a spectacular interception, and the defense played pretty well, all things considered. But as poorly as the offense played, it was incomprehensible that the game was as tight as it was.

And it didn't help that the coaching staff had a brain cramp at the end of the game when they had Byron Leftwich throw the ball on fourth and 10, instead of going for a field goal. They needed two scores anyway, and going for it on fourth down -- and not converting -- removed any chance for recovering an onside kick and scoring again.

*** *** ***

In-game reportage ...

It's the second quarter, and Assante Samuel just intercepted Big Ben. The other defensive back on the play, by the way, could have easily been flagged for faceguarding -- he didn't look back for the ball.

Anyway, Big Ben's getting killed back there. How 'bout this: Establish the running game. What a novel concept.

On the plus side, Joey Porter and the Miami Dolphins beat the Patriots soundly today. Hmmm, maybe Peezy and the Fins really did treat Matt Cassell like a rookie, as he promised last week.

And the Browns lost and are now 0-3, and Bengals lost, too, so we've got that going for us. The Bengals suck. Still.

How 'bout this ...

Y'know what? Phuck Philadelphia. The Eagles. And especially the Flyers. Phuck their phans. Phuck Brian Westbrook, Donovan McNabb and Andy Reid. Fuck 'em all.

May they all get diarrhea on game day from their shitty cheesteaks ... and then be forced to watch Donovan McNabb Chunky Soup commercials and his "episode" on Cribs afterward.

Fuck 'em.

Not that Joey Porter's Pit Bulls have anger and hostility issues. Well? What did you expect? Fuck 'em.

Go boo Santa Claus. Assholes.

Have You Ever Been to Philadelphia?

As the Steelers move from Cleveland to Philadelphia and continue their world tour of world-class shithole cities -- what's next, Mogadishu? -- Mike & Mike (Greenberg & Golic) are in Philthydelphia, too, broadcasting their inane ESPN talk show. We should all have jobs like that. No, on second thought ...

Anyway, Joey Porter's Pit Bulls are feeling less optimistic about the game on Sunday than we were earlier in the week. If Big Ben were fully healthy, we'd feel better. On the other hand, Big Ben is kinda like Jethro Bodean of The Beverly Hillbillies. Nothing seems to faze him. Just give him a big plate of ham-hocks, pig's feet and grits, and he'll be fine.

Now, talking ourselves back into optimism -- and don't you just love how we (I) constantly use the "editorial we"? We (I) have identity issues. Sometimes, I (we) feel like all the characters in The Wizard of Oz, all at once -- anyway, what we (I) -- Joey Porter's Pit Bulls -- have a hunching suspicion about this game, on the side of optimism, is that Eagles QB Donovan McNabb is due to immolate, self-destruct. He's just due. Something's going to happen. Maybe he'll get a bad cheese-steak on Saturday night. Maybe MTV will re-run his feature on Cribs. Something.

Something will set him off. Get him off his game.

Maybe James Harrison. Silverback. Yeah, that could work.

The photo, by the way, is of an Eagles fan. At least he got something right.

Links:

Pretty much anything on the blogroll to the right, but ...

Hockey, Football & Stiletto Shoes: Just because.

One for the Other Thumb: Always.

Pittsburgh Sports & Mini-Ponies: Also, always a Must-Read, every day.

And, finally, if you find Mormons weird, bizarre and/or annoying, this classic from Big Daddy Drew at Kissing Suzy Kolber.

God Bless Joey Porter

If Joey Porter wasn't Joey Porter, this blog wouldn't exist. And we would have struggled to find something to write about today (Sarah Palin's e-mail? The Pirates?).

But, thank God, Joey Porter just keeps talking. ... Joey Porter's past his prime on a bad team, but he just can't help himself.

Joey Porter, of course, is quoted as saying about Patriots' quarterback Matt Cassell that he's not Tom Brady (no shit?) and that ...

"You treat him like you treat a backup," Porter said. "How do you prepare for a backup? He don't get that many snaps, right? So you throw the kitchen sink at him. That's what we're going to do."

Well, good luck with that, Peezy. The Patriots still have Randy Moss, Wes Welker, and the Evil Genius, but more than that ... Joey Porter's Pit Bulls have been impressed with Matt Cassell as a quarterback in his own right.

We haven't seen all that much of him, but just conclude: He's pretty good. He's poised; he's got a tight, smooth throwing motion; he is patient in the pocket; he seems to have good field vision; his arm is strong enough; and his throws seem to be crisp and accurate. And he runs pretty well. He's a good quarterback.

Not Tom Brady. But pretty good. Dismiss all the talk that he hasn't started a game since his senior year in high school. He went to USC (how bad could he be?). And he backed up glamour QBs Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart. And might end up being a better pro than either of them.

NOT that any of this makes us happy. We can't stand the Patriots. For all that ... if Matt Cassell goes down to injury, well, look out.

Joey Porter, just what exactly what did you mean when you said, "You treat him like a backup"?

About DeSean Jackson

It's a good thing the Steelers have improved their kick coverage units this year. We certainly hope they'll be ready on Sunday for Philadelphia Eagles rookie sensation DeSean Jackson, out of the University of California.

The speedy, elusive Jackson has returned a punt for a touchdown already. Just as significantly, he is the first rookie receiver since 1940 to rack up more than 100 yards receiving in each of his first two games in the NFL. He is the best receiver on the Eagles, already, and the Steelers will have their hands full trying to contain him, both on punt returns and on offense.

Jackson's a good player (and we'd love to have him on the Steelers), but he has long had a notorious reputation for immaturity and showboating antics. As noted by the San Jose Mercury News:

"Cal coaches must be shocked. Shocked that it took DeSean Jackson a whole two weeks in the NFL to get in trouble for showboating.

"The Eagles' second-round pick is living down nationwide laughter. Monday night in Dallas, he nonchalantly flipped the ball backward as he crossed the goal line — except the replay review showed it was before he crossed. So it was first down at the 1-yard line instead of a 61-yard touchdown reception from Donovan McNabb."

It's not the first time. The photo shows Jackson showboating in a high-school all-star game. He launched a somersault from the four-yard line, landed on the one-yard line -- and promptly coughed up the ball before crossing the goal line. You'd think he's have learned his lesson. Why is he so eager to drop the ball? Maybe Silverback, Troy & Co. can induce a fumble or two.

For all that, Jackson's a dynamic playmaker, and the Steelers will have their hands full.

Should be Interesting ....

Steelers vs. Eagles. The Eagles present an interesting dilemma for the Steelers next Sunday. Road game, for one thing. A 4 p.m. game on the road, in Philadelphia for another. What could possibly go wrong?

Having watched the Eagles vs. Cowboys, a number of things come to mind. The Eagles score points. The Eagles give up points. Their defensive schemes are confounding, but their defensive personnel isn't that good. On offense, Donovan McNabb and Bryant Westbrook are over-rated. Seriously, they are. The Steelers can win this game.

The Steelers will win this game.

Sorry about this ...

Okay, anybody who reads this blog knows it's focus is on the Steelers. We'll keep it that way. But, sheesh, sometimes Joey Porter's Pit Bulls gotta speak up. Just watched an interview with John McCain in the wake of the storm ... on Wall Street ... the meltdown of the economy, the so-called "markets" and Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns, Merril Lynch, AIG, your mortgage, your job, your health insurance and your 401K account. Mine, too.

Even Fox News cannot "put lipstick on this pig."

John McCain is the worst kind of moron. He is a manipulated, disingenuous moron. Yeah, just keep reciting "Karl Rove's Talking Points." It's insulting.

John McVain is a moron. And he's 72 years old. So, when Sarah Palin engages in negotiations with Vladmir Putin ... yeah, well, good luck with that. And their advertising is positively Orwellian. They've hijacked the "change"message, and ,well, "The real mavericks"? Don't piss on me and tell me it's raining.

Back to football. I swear.

In Command

Just two games into the season, and the Steelers are in command of the AFC North. The Brownies, in full recognition of their plight and playing desperately last night, put up a fight.

But at no point did Joey Porter's Pit Bulls feel the Steelers were in danger of losing the game.

The weather conditions made for a visually entertaining game, but Browns' QB Derek Anderson seemed to let the wind and rain bother him more than it bothered unflappable Ben Roethlisberger.

Willie Parker gained 105 yards on the ground, while Federal Penitentiary alumnus Jamal Lewis never got untracked. Behemoth defensive tackle Shaun Rogers of the Browns had some disruptive moments, but on the whole, the Steelers controlled both sides of the line of scrimmage. Santonio Holmes, who must be a nightmare to cover, displayed sure hands as he made some clutch catches in traffic and continued to establish himself as an elite receiver in the National Football League.

The defense was the difference. The Steelers' defense flew to the ball and played with an intensity that never allowed the Browns to establish any sort of consistent momentum. The Steelers' defense is better than the Brown's. As predicted here last week, the black 'n gold defense really did Hustle & Flow to the ball.

The 0-2 Browns are in a serious hole, and the talk in Cleveland surely will turn to Brady Quinn possibly supplanting Anderson as the starting quarterback. Plus, there surely will be muttering about Romeo Crennel's job security and the possibility of bringing Bill Cowher in as head coach next year. The postgame radio talk shows in Cleveland must have been a lot of fun. Well, all of that's their problem, not ours. It's much better to be a Steelers' fan today.

And the Bengals suck. Still.

Have you ever been to Cleveland?

Yeah, I have. Lived there for a while. It's cold. Even in September. It's the wind. The damn wind coming off the damn lake. Not sayin' the people are cold; because Joey Porter's Pit Bulls take people one at a time. Good people wherever you go. But. Assholes, too.

Sunday night. Steelers: Be ready for this game. Just guessing here: Browns head coach Romeo Crennel is borderline-panicked about this game. Bill Cowher looming. Job security and all that. Crennel must be thinking, "Damn! My 'vaunted' defensive line acqisitions couldn't stop the run against Dallas last Sunday and couldn't stop the pass. What are the Steelers gonna do?"

The Browns gave up 30 first downs --30!-- and nearly 500 yards of offense.

And the Steelers are a mirror image of Dallas. Steelers vs. Cowboys in the Super Bowl. JPPB callin' it. Right now.

Yup. Joey Porter's Pit Bulls have a feeling Romeo Crennel is panicking. Which sets a tone for the whole team. You don't think the entire team, from the skittish QB to the already-underachieving free-agent acquisitions don't pick up on this vibe?

There's an ill wind blows in Cleveland. Cool. No, COLD.

There's a history between these two teams.

It's Browns vs. Steelers.
That's all that needs to be said.

Let’s put this in historical context:

1966: Cleveland 41, Pittsburgh 10

Quote from Cleveland fullback Ernie Green:

“It was like running downhill.”

Hustle & Flow

Key to this game: Hustle & Flow (proposed new nickname for the Steeler's defense?).

Not worried about the Steeler's offense in this one. They'll put up points. Cleveland linebacker Camerion Wimbley can play on my team anytime, but nobody else on that defense would, or could (all respect to old man Willie McGinest, who has had a long and distinguished career, but you're old, dude; retire already).

Key to the game: Steelers' defense -- Hustle & Flow. Hustle every play and flow to the ball. Set a tone early and late. Granted, Cleveland has some talent on offense: Extremely good offensive line. Federal Penitentiary alumnus Jamaal Lewis at running back. The "Soldier" Kellen Winslow and Brayin' Braylon Edwards at wideout.

But scatter-armed, jittery Derek Anderson at quarterback. Nah-uh. He can be had. Taken. Down. "WHUP that trick! WHUP that trick! WHUP that trick!"

That's why, on defense, it's time to hustle and flow. Smooth as silk.

This will be a fun game to watch.

In the picture, by the way, is Mickey McGovern, Irish leprechaun and friend to all, who passed away last week. He would have enjoyed this game coming up on Sunday night. Rest in peace, Mick.

In Requiem ...

With Prayers and Hope for a Better Future

Going to Cleveland is so much fun.

JoeyPorter's Pit Bulls get legitimately excited about Cleveland Week. The Steelers can put the Browns in a serious hole on Sunday night, and we believe they will. And we get to see Kellen Winslow, the "Soldier." Another reason to live!

(The following is a reprise post from November 2006, just because we're uninspired and have been too preoccupied with Life Crappola lately.)


Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls love the Dawg Pound.

It’s not that we’re combative or anything … but it’s just so much fun to encounter guys with dog masks who think they’re BAD; and then, despite ourselves, stay out of jail.

The real Dawg Pound died with Municipal Stadium, just as the old Browns franchise died when Art Modell highjacked it to Baltimore. Prick.

We haven’t been to the new Browns Stadium, which looks nice, but take our word for it, Municipal Stadium was not nice. Anything but.

“Barely controlled riot” would be the words to describe the Dawg Pound during Steelers-Browns games. Never mind the disgusting, overflowing restrooms and Myron Cope routinely pissing off the stadium rooftop (true story, told by Cope himself many times). Never mind the continuing jawing and woofing between fans from Pittsburgh and Cleveland. Never mind the distractions, such as the periodic incursions of uniformed police that would snap attention from the action on the field — which itself, typically, was spastically violent in bizarre ways.

No, there are memories of sounds, too, such as, for instance, the distinctive crack of a revolver … in the stands, mind you … which triggered a massive response from Cleveland’s Finest and even more brawling fueled by testosterone, drugs and alcohol.

Hollywood couldn’t begin to stage such mayhem.

Real. Surreal. Hyper-real.

Ah, the memories.

Back on the Grid(iron)

(Note to readers: Sorry for being off the grid the last week or so. Life.)

No revelations here: The Steelers looked crisp yesterday, ready to play, sharp. Not much to analyze, but let's do it anyway. The maligned offensive looked surprisingly robust. Willie Parker looked fast. Ben Roethlisberger was sharp. Lammarr Woodley and James Harrison were fierce.

And, for some reason, the Houston Texans, seemed to mostly ignore their best player on offense, wide receiver Andre Johnson. Which brings us to the play of the secondary. Thank you, Ryan Clark and Troy Polamalu for returning to action. And thank you, Deshea Townsend and Ike Taylor for playing up to form.

Kudos, too, to the coaching staff for a fine game plan and for having the team prepared to play.

Now, get 'em ready for next week. Cleveland Week.

The Browns Are Weaker Than Most People Anticipated

Steelers vs. Browns next Sunday night will be critical. We can bury them right there, in Cleveland, in the second week of the season. Done.

Just heard moron "analyst" Skip Bayless talk about how "explosive" the Cleveland Browns were going to be this year. Hah! The Browns were horrible yesterday against the Cowboys yesterday. No pass rush. Can't stop the run. Which is a Bad Combination on defense.

And the scatter-armed QB, Derek Anderson, gets rattled too easily. Plus, the Browns' high-priced investments in their defensive front four during the off-season are looking about as prudent as APR mortgages, stock in Enron or faith in Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac. The Black 'n Gold can bury the Browns next week -- and officially put them in panic mode.

By the way, who hires these so-called broadcast "analysts" anyway? Kordell Stewart is now on the ESPN panel of experts. Okey-dokey. We'll learn a lot. Sure.

Speaking of being unable to stop the run: The Indianapolis Colts. If you watched the Chicago Bears whup on the Colts last night, you couldn't help but marvel what an admirable and startling thing commitment to the run can be. The Bears, featuring impressive rookie running back Matt Forte, just kept running and running ... and the Colts couldn't stop it. Which is a good thing for the rest of the AFC, including the Steelers.

Indy's new stadium is beautiful by the way. And the food looks good, too.

Tom Brady. Too bad. We feel so sad. Nah, that's rude. Actually, Joey Porter's Pit Bulls never like to see a great player go down to injury. It deprives all of us ignorant fans the best the game has to offer. Tom Brady is the best quarterback in the game, and we'd rather see him play all 16 games. Karma's a bitch, but we do want the Patriots to recede into oblivion and irrelevance. Kinda like the Pittsburgh Pirates. But that's another story.

Question: Who would you rather have on your team (real NFL football, not fantasy football)? Maurice Jones-Drew or Reggie Bush? Just asking.

To pick up a theme from last season: The Bengals stink. Still.