Friday, January 05, 2007

Pardon the Interruption

Sorry about that. Having been chastised for neglecting Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls, we are back.

Let’s see-e-e … much has happened since our last missive:

James Brown passed on to that great stage in the sky, where no doubt he is putting on a SHOW for the angels and saints. “Hallelujah!” As Jake in The Blues Brothers, exclaimed, “I see the light!”

It’s an understatement to say James Brown was prolific in his output of great music over the years. Not only his hits that are familiar to everyone — Sex Machine, Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag, Night Train, and on an on — but also his more obscure work.

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls, for example, has a double-CD of studio instrumentals by James Brown’s band, and it is awesome. Being all instrumentals, James Brown doesn’t sing, but he does contribute the occasional grunt and “Eeeow-w-w!!!” It’s just another example of how he worked with great musicians and, in many cases, made them even better, and more professional than they might have been otherwise.

And we may accept the Final Word from the man himself:

“It’s a man’s man’s man’s world,
But it ain’t nuthin’ … without a woman or a girl.”

  • The Steelers’ disappointing season ended on a winning note, with the best part being they beat the thug Bengals in a game the Bungles absolutely had to win for a chance to make the playoffs. We'll take it. Both teams finished 8-8, which gives us some modicum of satisfaction because Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls hate the Bungles and their cast of loathsome miscreants. Fast Willie Parker, God bless him, contributed 134 yards rushing, along with two touchdowns, to conclude a superb season of nearly 1,500 yards rushing and 16 touchdowns (a franchise record). And he was named the team’s MVP. Congrats, Willie. We’ve been rooting for you since you since you first showed up as an undrafted free agent rookie given a slim chance to make the team. You are our favorite Steeler.
  • Christmas came and went. Christmas Day itself was fine, as Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls hosted the family and others for a splendid feast and accompanying merriment.
  • The week after Christmas was a serious letdown marked by dolor, melancholy, ennui, dispiritedness, slack depression and acute loneliness, probably all triggered by a disturbing image planted in one’s brain by a troubling Christmas Eve phone call that totally fucked with one’s head. We did not need that. Enough of that.
  • We did nothing of note on New Year’s Eve, and the New Year arrived unceremoniously.
  • The Pirates signed Jose “K” Hernandez, the “K” standing for strikeout since the man does that a lot, a whole lot.
  • We returned to work, and it seems like we should be in, say, March already. Damn.
  • And, last but not least, Bill Cowher, in all his solipsistic disquietude, continued to give every indication he’s about to resign as Steelers head coach. Quitter. Get over yourself, already, Bill, and make your announcement, so we can move on.

And that’s exactly what we’re going to do. We’re gonna move on. Kind of like James Brown.


Anonymous said...

Nice to have you back.

I love James Brown. I miss him already. He just had an energy about him.

This time of year just sucks. I keep tellng everyone I'm having a holiday hangover.

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls said...

Thanks, Debbie. I'm out of my funk. Now I just need to GET FUNKY! in honor of James Brown. Yee-owww!

Dr. Paul Shemp said...

"It's too HOT in the HOTTUB, OWWW!"

May he rest firmly in funk, forever. :)

Anonymous said...

James Brown----God Rest his “Soul”

The significance of the dinosaur picture? The year that just passed, James Brown, Bill Cowher, Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls or all of the above

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls said...

Hi, Petulant Rambler:
We appreciate your comment and like your pun.

Joey Porter's Pit Bulls are not so cognitively developed as to put too much thought into the significance of a picture like this. Now that you've asked the question, however, we suppose the answer would be something like, "Uh, we dunno. Just a cool picture -- a visual non sequitur apropos of nothing at all, except perhaps our own irrelevance?"