Send Out the Clowns

As a Steelers fan who is glad the little Brownies are competitive again (finally resuscitating the storied Pittsburgh-Cleveland rivalry), JPPBs also relish the squirming discomfort, anxiety and angst the Cleveland Browns and their fans must be experiencing this week.

Because the Browns laid a colossal egg on Sunday in Cincinnati, they need help just to make the playoffs. As explained on the Brownies' Web site, here’s how it shakes out for them:

** The Browns and Tennessee Titans are both 9-6 heading into the season's final week.

** The Titans play at Indianapolis in a game that means nothing to the Colts, who have clinched a first-round bye. If the Colts win, the Browns are in. If the Titans win, the Browns are out.

** If the Browns do get in, they'll be the sixth seed and play at Pittsburgh or San Diego.

The Browns = The Clowns.

As for the Steelers, all the speculation about playoff seeding is pointless. They will be the No. 4 seed. The only way the Steelers can finish as the No. 3 seed is if they end the regular season with a better record than the San Diego Chargers, who currently have the same record, 10-5, as the Steelers. If the two teams are tied, either at 10-6 or at 11-5, the Chargers will be the No. 3 seed.

The Chargers play at Oakland (4-11) on Sunday at 4:15 p.m (EST), while the Steelers play at Baltimore (4-11), also at 4:15 p.m.

The Chargers will defeat the Raiders, so the Steelers will enter the playoffs as the No. 4 seed, no matter what they do at Baltimore.

As the No. 4 seed, the Steelers will host the Jacksonville Jaguars. Oh-oh.

Santa's Work Is Done.

Christmas time's a comin' ...

"Christmas comes but once a year
And to me it brings good cheer
And to everyone
Who likes wine and beer."
-- Bessie Smith

Hangin' out n' 'at ...

Now he's in India ...

But Santa's busy ...

As do others ...

Santa appears to be in Sweden ...

WANTED

Rough Night for Santa ...

Santa spent most of the night stretched out on a soiled mattress. Haunted. Staring at a bare light bulb strung from the ceiling of a cold-water room in a flophouse hotel over a waterfront saloon. The bookies were on his trail.

Santa's Journey

Feeling a little hungover from yesterday's bout with a bottle of Hennessy, Santa woke today preparing for his flight to St. Louis. Still a few errands to run, though! It's nice that he finds helpers and makes friends so easily.

In the Spirit of the Season ...

Look at it this way ...

With a game Thursday evening in St. Louis, it's a short week for Steelers fans. There's less time to stew over the way the Steelers lost their last two games.

Also, by playing in St. Louis, the Steelers get one last "home" game -- with a decent chance to out-draw the Rams in their own stadium. Green Bay Packers fans did just that yesterday, prompting this report in the Associated Press:

ST. LOUIS (AP) — It took the Green Bay Packers to sell out a St. Louis Rams game.

Much of the capacity crowd at the Edward Jones Dome on Sunday clearly rooted for the visiting team. Cheeseheads were everywhere and perhaps half of the stadium was clad in Packers’ green and yellow, helping the visitors feel right at home in a 33-14 victory.

“It’s a joke,” running back Steven Jackson said. “The whole first level is Green Bay Packers’ fans. It’s a joke. We were at Lambeau Field.”

It likely felt that way to the Rams, who have had four games blacked out on local television because they did not sell out. St. Louis is 1-6 at home and 3-11 overall with two games to go.

“You’re a little surprised to see more people in your house for the opposing team than for your team but you know it doesn’t make you real happy or real excited,” Rams linebacker Will Witherspoon said.

Surely Steelers fans can outnumber St. Louis fans in St. Louis, can't they? This should be a cinch. And it's a good thing, too, because the Steelers haven't played well on the road all season. The Rams haven't played well at home. The Steelers haven't played well on the road. Something's got to give.

Other tidbits about the Rams:

• Yesterday, at home in their own stadium (filled with Packers fans), the Rams committed 13 penalties for 93 yards.

• In 17 career starts against AFC teams, Marc Bulger (the best quarterback nobody talks about) has completed 371 of 572 passes for 4,651 yards, 27 touchdowns and 14 interceptions (95.5 passer rating). When Bulger has a 95 or better passer rating, the Rams are 19-11. Bulger, a Pittsburgh native, was a standout QB at Central Catholic High School and West Virginia University.

• When running back Steven Jackson carries the ball 24 times or more, the Rams are 8-1. In his past seven games against the AFC, Jackson has 987 yards from scrimmage (141 per game) and seven touchdowns. He looks to continue a streak of rushing touchdowns against AFC teams. A touchdown will extend that streak to five games.

• Wide receiver Torry Holt is one of the best in football. Holt has 12 100-yard games against AFC teams in his career. His counterpart Isaac Bruce is still productive and also has had a long and extremely distinguished career.

• Former running back Marshall Faulk will have his number (28) retired before the game Thursday evening.
  

• Kickoff Thursday night is 8:15 p.m. (ET).

Again, Bah, Humbug!

Yeah, yeah, we know. This is the wrong kind of momentum to have approaching the playoffs. The Steelers can't take any opponent for granted, especially going on the road. Blah, blah. That sixth seed we mentioned as a possibility last week? It's a bigger possibility this week.

The loss to Jacksonville was not at all entirely unexpected. From their inception as an NFL franchise, the Jags were built to beat the Steelers. Jacksonville has always been a tough matchup, and yesterday was no exception as the Jags out-Steelered the Steelers.

Well, Thursday evening's tussle with the 3-11 St. Louis Rams is fast-approaching. This one at least looks like a good matchup, even if it is on the road. Right? Right?! Uh, yeah, except that's what everyone said about the earlier matchups (losses) vs. the Cardinals and Jets.

Welcome, visitors from Florida

Welcome to Pittsburgh, visitors from Florida.

The forecast for Sunday's game between the Steelers and Jacksonville Jag-yoo-arrs is snow, sleet, rain, freezing rain, hornets, locusts and pestilence.

Enjoy!

The road in the picture, by the way, is the 10th Street Bypass, downtown, just across the Allegheny River and up maybe a mile from Heinz Field. The photo was taken today.

The Steelers Activate Steely McBean!

In an unfortunate turn of events, the Steelers were forced to place stalwart defensive end Aaron Smith, a longtime mainstay on the defensive line, on injured reserve, ending his season.

Smith, a nine-year veteran Pro Bowler who has never missed a game, sustained a torn biceps during Sunday's game against New England. To take his place on the 53-man roster, the Steelers activated rookie defensive end Ryan "Steely" McBean, a fourth-round pick from Oklahoma State University. McBean had been on the team's practice squad.

Smith's absence will hurt the Steelers. Badly. Especially against the run.

Unfortunately, the Jacksonville Jaguars, who visit the Steelers on Sunday, are first and foremost a running team, featuring breakaway threats Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew.

Oh-oh.

Take Heart

Not to sound an alarm, but the Steelers are at risk of not making the playoffs.

Psych! Not really. Just wanted to get your attention.

However … the Steelers very conceivably could lose two of three to wind up being the sixth seed – just like they were in 2005, and we all know how well that worked out.

Just looking ahead for a moment … Jacksonville, with the same 9-4 record as the Steelers, always plays the Steelers tough and definitely could win in Pittsburgh on Sunday.

Cleveland (8-5) could just as easily run the table and win the division outright, if the Steelers lose two of their final three games. Cleveland hosts Buffalo (6-7), visits Cincinnati (5-8), and plays at home to San Francisco (3-10) in their season finale. All three games are eminently winnable for the Browns.

Given the Steelers’ performances against the Cardinals, Jets and Dolphins, nobody should presume they will beat the St. Louis Rams (3-10). They should, but given how they’ve played down to inferior competition this year, it’s not a gimme. Then in the last game of the season, division-rival Baltimore (4-9) on the road is always tough.

So, if the Steelers lose to the Jag-you-ares on Sunday, beat the Rams and lose to Baltimore … and if Cleveland wins all three of their remaining games, the Brownies win the division, if Cleveland finishes at 11-5 and the Steelers finish at 10-6.

The resurgent San Diego Chargers (8-5) have a relatively easy schedule with winnable home games vs. Detroit (6-7) and Denver (6-7) and a road game at Oakland (4-9). They could easily finish 11-5 to move ahead of the Steelers as the fifth seed, if the Steelers lose two of three and the Browns win all three.

For all that, the Steelers almost certainly have at least the sixth seed locked up. Even if the Steelers somehow finish at 10-6, they should make the playoffs. Buffalo, currently at 7-6, is the next best long shot, but the Bills already have five losses in the conference (vs. three losses in the conference for the Steelers). Ditto the Tennessee Titans (7-6), also with five losses in the conference. (Note: The intra-conference record is the first tie-breaker of consequence in this convoluted scenario).

And, if the Bills knock off Cleveland, it’s almost certainly a moot point: The Steelers should win the AFC North.

Besides, the Steelers will win all three of their remaining games. Right?

Footnote: Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls knew the Bawl’more Ravens were struggling, but we didn’t realize to what extent. Brian Billick’s minions are riding a seven-game losing streak and are 1-9 against AFC teams. One and nine. Yikes. Bill Cowher probably is discussing the soon-to-be head coaching vacancy with Baltimore management right now.

That would be fun.

Bah, Humbug!

Well, that didn't go so well, did it?

It could have been worse, it could have been better. It was the best of times, it was the worst of ... just shut up.

That goes double for you, Anthony Smith. Next time, just shut up and play the game. Way to get their attention. Smith might as well have had a target on his back. Smith's play yesterday was even more embarrassing than his lame "guarantee" last week.

About the Patriots, as former Arizona Cardinals coach Denny Green said of the Chicago Bears last year, "Let's just crown their asses."

Anthony Smith and the secondary got burned, repeatedly. The offensive line, "anchored" at the center position by Sean Mahan, couldn't generate the push they needed to convert short-yardage situations, especially inside the red zone. Mahan got tossed around like a rag doll. Again.

Was the offensive line’s inability to generate an inside push the reason for the end-around call at the goal line? Do we detect a lack of confidence? The play-calling was at times curious, to say the least.

Special teams -- again-- surrendered a long kickoff return, plus a turnover. Daniel Sepulveda's punts continue to look average, at best, and Alan Rossum continues to look slow. He is contributing virtually nothing on returns. At least Sepulveda didn't get any punts blocked, and Rossum didn't fumble. Yes, it could have been worse.

The team is getting almost nothing from its 2007 draft class. Too late to do anything about that.

Next up: Jacksonville.

Buckle up. It could be a bumpy ride.

Lest we forget ...

"A day that will live in infamy."

Reasons to believe ...

This is probably more wishful/hopeful thinking than anything, but Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls take solace in finding hope in the distinct possibility that …

• Fast Willie Parker will have a big game racking up massive chunks of yardage on the fast FieldTurf at Gillette Stadium. Parker has had huge games on FieldTurf previously (at Paul Brown Stadium in Cincinnati, for example; and yeah, we know, it’s the Bengals). Good luck, Junior, keeping up.

• The Steelers will exploit the Patriots’ aging inside linebackers not only with Parker, but with the tight ends and receivers on crossing patterns and seam routes over the middle. Again, good luck, Junior, keeping up. That would be Junior, as in, 38-year-old Junior Seau, who got spun around like a top by the Ravens’ Willis McGahee on Monday night. Repeatedly.

• The Patriots’ aging Rodney Harrison will limp off the field, preferably early in the game. The 34-year-old Harrison limped off the field with an apparent hamstring problem at the end of the game in Baltimore Monday night. Good luck, Sterod, keeping up with Heath Miller, Santonio Holmes, Nate Washington and company.

• Supermodel Gisele Bundschen will cringe and gasp in horror as James Harrison makes Tom Brady his bitch, emphatically. And repeatedly. On Monday night, Baltimore’s rookie linebacker Antwan Barnes looked strikingly similar to The Silverback, as Barnes used leverage and technique to swoop around left tackle Matt Light. Barnes is about the same size as Harrison. Although shorter than most defensive ends, both seem to know how to use their considerable strength, speed, leverage and technique to advantage.

• Steelers defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau will craft a typically ingenious game plan to outsmart the wickedly ingenious and evil Patriots’ braintrust.

• DeShea Townsend, always a good cover corner, will blanket Donte Stallworth.

• Tyrone Carter will “mitigate” Wes Welker.

• Ike Taylor will persuade Randy Moss to Face Me Ike.
  

It’s a lot to hope for, but that’s what Christmas is all about.

Addendum:
From David Fleming, ESPN Page 2: "Thirty-Three Reasons the Steelers Will Win on Sunday"

The Patriots’ Linebackers Are Old

New England’s starting linebackers are:

• Adalius Thomas, 30, pushed around all game Monday night but a heck of a player if he’s healthy (currently a question mark)
• Tedy Bruschi, 34, still a playmaker
• Junior Seau, 38, thrust into a starting role last week when Roosevelt Colvin was placed on injured reserve (Seau looked overmatched Monday night but earlier this season became the oldest player to record two interceptions in one game)
• Mike Vrabel, 32, still a force
• Behind them are: Eric Alexander, 25, Larry Izzo, 33, and Chad Brown (?!), 37 (on the inactive list last week).

We’re not saying they’re no good. They’re just old. And maybe there’s a mismatch or two to be exploited (Jr. Seau, we’ve got our eyes on you.)

• Anthony Smith should just shut up. Since 1998, the Steelers have dropped 5-of-6 games to the Pats and in case Anthony hasn’t heard, the Patriots are undefeated and, oh, by the way, are averaging 39.1 points per game.
  
• Turnover differential? The Pats are +17, the Steelers, +3.

Karen Guregian of The Boston Herald had this to say of the Steelers:

“What they are is a better version of the Baltimore Ravens. Better quarterback, better running back, better defense. Now they get the Patriots on a short week, after three consecutive night games, and two straight barn-burners.

The Eagles attacked the Pats’ pass coverage in the middle of the field. The Ravens attacked with a shifting, slashing runner in Willis McGahee (30 carries, 138 yards).

With quarterback Ben Roethlisberger (25 TD passes) and running back Willie Parker (second in NFL with 1,093 yards), the 9-3 Steelers can do both.

On the other side of the ball, the Steelers possess the best overall defense in the league.”

No doubt about it, the Steelers will have to bring their ‘A’ game. If they do, and if they keep mistakes to a minimum, they can win this game.

Thursday Afternoon Addendum:

• Over at Steelahs.com, New England-based Steelers fan Mika Batista eloquently opines on Anthony Smith's "guarantee" in today's post headlined, "Talking the Talk."
  

• Meanwhile, Neal Coolong at DiehardSteel downplays Smith's comments, which he says are inconsequential and will mean nothing either way, no matter how the game turns out.

• The Christmas Ape over at D.C. Steeler Nation believes Smith's emotion may be a good thing.

• Meanwhile, if you're looking for Patriot-hating blogs, Cotter over at One For the Other Thumb provides a roundup of links to blogs with subtle names such as "I Hate the New England Patriots."

Nice Reputation

Patriots' players have the day off. Rust never sleeps.

New England Patriots head coach Bill Bellichick held a conference call with the media today. Here is an excerpt, as reported today by The Boston Globe:

“Pittsburgh is a hard team to prepare for. What I don’t think you want to do is give your team a game plan and then as you do more work on the team, find out ‘this isn’t quite what we want here’ and you have to change it. We thought it would be better to take a little time ourselves from a coaching standpoint, a staff standpoint, to make sure that with the extra time we’ve had this morning that we could get things as close to exactly the way we want them, so when we do give them to the players, we don’t have to go back and change them.”

Translation:

“We are currently analyzing all the conversations we were able to obtain from our hidden microphones at Steelers headquarters and the wiretapped phones of Steelers coaches and players. We’ve also been busy going over the intercepted e-mails our IT guys forwarded to us, as well as their game plans that our in-house hackers have been able to pick up from the Steelers’ computer systems.”

“We’re confident we know what the Steelers plan to do. We have a few surprises planned for them. I'll just say this: Daniel Sepulveda, their punter, better get his kicks off a hell of a lot quicker than he’s been doing. Methinks a blocked punt early in the game would rattle his cage, set the tone and really get our fans involved."

"I’d like that. I really would.”

Hot Stove Musings & Monday Night Revisited

What’s New? Really, with the Pirates, what is new?

On the one hand, Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls want to give the Pirates’ new management team a chance. On the other hand …

For a team that espouses “a new direction,” the Pirates sure seem to be taking safe, familiar baby steps. On Tuesday, new GM Neal Huntington signed a veteran journeyman, backup utility infielder Chris Gomez, who seems like a decent chap and may well be an upgrade over what they’ve had the past few years. But signing the 36-year-old Gomez sure seems like a lot like previous signings the Pirates have made over the past 10 years or so: Jose Hernandez, Chris Stynes, Doug Strange, Matt Kata, Mike Edwards, Doug Strange, Mike Kingery and so many others. Yawn. Add to that, the lack of major change in the front office, and you wonder whether this franchise really is moving in a new direction.

As noted recently by Dejean Kovacevic in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette …

“However anyone wishes to characterize the Pirates' recent front office changes, do not call it a housecleaning. All six of Dave Littlefield's special assistants -- Pete Vuckovich, Jax Robertson, Jackie Bowen, Louie Eljaua, Jesse Flores and Roy Smith -- are staying on board. Littlefield's assistant, Doug Strange, was shifted to special assistant.”

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss?

Anyway, there’s much media speculation the Pirates are looking to trade Jason Bay – who is probably at the low point of his trade value right now, coming off his worst season. This seems like a bad idea, as the return for Bay appears to be middle-of-the-road players with little upside. Granted, Huntington’s hands are tied, but still. Let’s hope he doesn’t panic and make an ill-advised deal, just to make a deal.

Sure we’d love to see the Pirates re-tool their roster. But the Bucs don’t have all that much to offer. Pitcher Matt Garza, recently traded by the Twins, would have looked terrific in the Pirates rotation. Toronto’s Alex Rios is being dangled in trade talks with the Giants but sure would look good in right field at PNC Park. The Jays supposedly want San Francisco’s Matt Cain, a starting pitcher. To obtain Rios, the Pirates probably would have to give up one of their emerging star starters, Ian Snell or Tom Gorzellany.

In most cases, to get a good player (or three), you’ve got to give up "something" of value. Bay has value, but his poor showing last season almost mandates he should be retained rather than dumped now for players of even lesser value. Just sayin’.

Monday Night Revisited

In reviewing Monday night’s game, this entertaining column from The Betting Fool (San Francisco Chronicle) notes how hard it was to root for either side, and considers both sides of the unsavory equation, “Lucky Patriots / Thuggy Ravens” …

“The Patriots were lucky. Their quest, bolstered by cheating, should be over.

I also can't stomach the Ravens. They are out of control, violent and nasty, incapable of composure and should be heavily fined or kicked out of the league for their actions.

What a great game, though.

As the game began to heat up, I was hoping the Ravens would win. But after I saw Rodney Harrison mouthing off to the absurdly arrogant Brian Billick, who blew kisses toward Harrison, I had a few pangs of tolerance for Belichick's bandits.

In the final minute, as The Ravens melted down, I was pleased that the Patriots' quest was still intact and not at all surprised by Baltimore's petulant, disgusting, bratty behavior, which was punctuated by incessant post-game whining.

Play DB in the NFL and take your chances. Especially if you're a Raven. Their coach acts like a bratty teenager, so do his players, and the refs react accordingly.”

The Betting Fool almost always provides a terrific read. Check it out.

To Think About ...

Idle thoughts here -- and mostly wishful/hopeful thinking, but Joey Porter's Pit Bulls have a feeling that ...

• Willie Parker is going to accelerate fast and often on Gillette Stadium's fast FieldTurf, and have a big game.

• The Patriots' aging inside-linebacker tandem of Junior Seau and Tedy Bruschi will have their hands full keeping up with Parker, tight end Heath Miller and the Steelers' receivers on crossing routes.

• Tyrone Carter will torture Wes Welker.

• Wes Welker will torture Tyrone Carter and the Steelers in general.

• Supermodel Gisele Bundschen will cringe in horror, as James Harrison makes Tom Brady his bitch, at least once.

• Patriots left tackle Matt Light, who is an outstanding offensive lineman, is losing sleep over the thought of James Harrison making Tom Brady his bitch. Light had all kinds of trouble with Ravens rookie linebacker Antwan Barnes (out of Florida International, of "Ned" fame). On Monday night, Barnes looked strikingly similar to Harrison (The Silverback), who was just named AFC Defensive Player of the Month. Neither Barnes nor Harrison is the tallest of linebackers, but that presents a real problem to a player like Light. Leverage, my friend, leverage.

• Rodney Harrison will limp off the field in pain and exhaustion.

• Randy Moss will drop at least one pass.

• The Patriots will try all-out to block a punt by Daniel Sepulveda, but the Steelers will have planned for it. Sepulveda runs for a touchdown early in the game, and the Steelers feed off that energy and ride it to a surprisingly convincing win.

Full Metal Jacket

"No question, they have a full metal jacket of weapons, offensively."

Quote from Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin,
discussing the New England Patriots in today's noontime press conference.

It’s Up to the Steelers Now

The Baltimore Ravens (4-8) played an inspired, tough game vs. the undefeated Great Satan New England Patriots (12-0) last night … except for the typically Raider Raven bonehead gaffes that cost them the game:

• The long interception Kyle Boller threw in the fourth quarter that kept the Patriots in the game.
  

• The inexplicable, panicky timeout called on defense with under two minutes left, a nanosecond before the ball was snapped, that negated what should have been a game-deciding fourth-down stop.

• The many penalties (some blatant) that kept New England drives alive.
  

• The general hotheadedness and lack of composure.

Still, for all the gaffes, even Kyle Boller made plays, Willis McGahee ran tough, and the Ravens defense pressured Tom Brady, clogged passing lanes and limited much of what the Patriots tried to do.

The Ravens and Steelers, division rivals, play similar schemes to a large extent, particularly on defense, with an emphasis on establishing the run on offense. The difference between the Ravens and the Steelers? The Steelers are a better team, with a much better quarterback and a better overall defense. Sunday should be interesting.

Idle Musings

We suppose it should not be much of a surprise to see such excellent play this season from Tyrone Carter, a career backup and intermittent starter as an injury substitute. The 31 year-old Carter, after all, is a savvy veteran who was the 1999 Jim Thorpe Award winner as college football’s best defensive back when he was a senior at the University of Minnesota. Listed at 5’9”, Carter will probably always be overlooked, although he provides excellent coverage skills, hits hard and is a sure tackler.

While we doubt there will be much man-to-man coverage against New England’s stable of receivers, it might be interesting to see Carter matched up against the Patriots’ Wes Welker, who has the second-most receptions in the NFL this year. Randy Moss is the unquestioned star receiver on that team, for sure, but Welker is the Patriot’s go-to guy for clutch yardage.

Now Hiring: Anti-Hacking Information Security Experts

Then again, the Patriots throw so many weapons* at opponents … it will take a total team effort, plus a favorable alignment of stars, anti-hack experts proactively safeguarding the Steelers computer systems and, perhaps most importantly, atmospheric jamming signals that block the Patriots’ attempts to intercept all Steelers’ play calls on both sides of the ball, as well as conversations on the sideline, the coach’s booth upstairs and in the wiretapped rooms in the team hotel the night before the game.

Yes, it will take a total team effort. On defense, we could see:

• Front-seven type players (Keisel, Farrior, Hampton, Foote, Haggans, etc.) mixing up pass-rush duties and clogging running lanes, and the midfield passing lanes/crossing routes.

• Ike Taylor/Anthony Smith focusing on Moss

• Tyrone Carter shadowing Welker

• Deshea Townsend and/or Bryant McFadden on Donte Stallworth and/or Jabar Gaffney.

• And The Silverback, James Harrison, hunting down Tom Brady.If you haven’t heard, James Harrison is a little intense.

On the Surface …

After all the hand-wringing over the muddy quagmire soggy, sandy turf at Heinz Field, it should be interesting to see how the Steelers play in game conditions on the faster FieldTurf at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Mass. Since the Monday night game slopfest against the winless Miami Dolphins a week ago, many have been clamoring for the Steelers to install FieldTurf at Heinz Hines Field.

Following Sunday night’s game, here’s what Ben Roethlisberger had to say about the playing surface at Heinz Field:

“Wet and sandy. Every time you took a snap, when Sean [Mahan] would snap it, water and sand would come up into your face and it would kind of get in your eyes and it would be all over your hands. Honestly, that's why Willie [Parker] fumbled. I remember when I took it, I went to hand it to him [and] it was soaked with a lot of sand. And it was tough.”

We have a feeling nobody will be talking about the turf following the Steelers-Patriots game, but still …as a backstory, it should be interesting to watch. Again, though, it’s not as if the Steelers have never played on FieldTurf. Lots of stadiums and practice facilities in the NFL use the stuff, including the Steelers at their own indoor practice facility on the South Side.

In any case, it’s been reported widely that the Steelers’ players prefer a grass surface. And on Sunday, the playing surface probably won’t make any difference in the outcome of the game.

*Moss, Welker, Donte Stallworth, Troy Brown, Jabar Gaffney, Kelley Washington, Chad Jackson, tight ends (Ben Watson, Kyle Brady) , running backs (Laurence Maroney, Kevin Faulk), not to mention Tom Brady-Quinn, doting husband, loving father and the best quarterback in football.

The Amoeba Defense

As noted today on Bengals.com:

“Steelers defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau, the former Bengals head coach, tortures Palmer. Three of Palmer's worst seven games (the 51.6 rating Sunday, a 52.1 his rookie year, and a 53.5 in 2005) have come against LeBeau. On Sunday, he gave Palmer ‘The Amoeba,’ where only one guy is lined up in a stance and the others are milling before the snap.”

Coach’s Post-Game Quotes:

• Mike Tomlin on Ben Roethlisberger: “Ben is a tremendous competitor. He gets that wild look in his eye. You love that about him. His teammates love that about him. They rally around that. They know this guy will do what it takes to lead us to victory.”

• Mike Tomlin on Hines Ward: “He is a tough guy. He is a football player first and a wide receiver second. He makes plays when he doesn't have the ball in his hands. He makes plays when he does have the ball in his hands. He is a legitimate tough guy.”

In Summary

All in all, it was a good weekend. Congratulations once again to the Pitt Panthers, who pulled off a monumental upset of WVU (and we’re happy to eat crow on that prediction) in the Centennial Edition of the Backyard Brawl. Congrats to Ken Whisenhunt, Russ Grimm and the Arizona Cardinals, who defeated the Cleveland Browns in a nail-biter to bring the Brownies back down to earth. And the Steelers beat the Bungles to send the Cinci Miscreants to eight losses while reclaiming a full two-game lead for the Black ‘n Gold over Cleveland in the AFC North.

Tonight, it’s the Baltimore Ravens hosting the undefeated New England Patriots. It should be fun to watch Ray “the Blade” Lewis go berserk as the Patriots run up the score.

Improvements

• The much-maligned kick coverage units performed admirably last night, allowing only 20.0 yards per return on kickoffs and 6.3 yards per punt return. Well done.

• Kudos also to the offensive line, which allowed nary a sack.

• Plaudits to the secondary, as well, especially Tryone Carter and Anthony Smith at safety, not to overlook DeShea Townsend, Ike Taylor and Bryant McFadden.The coverage was outstanding, and the sure tackling was even better. Excellent work all around.

Miscellany

• The two fans arrested by the FBI last night at Heinz Field? Bengals fans, no doubt, as Black&Gold Girl over at Nonstop Pittsburgh Steelers.

Next Sunday: Pittsburgh@New England, 4:15 p.m. (CBS)

• Reporter: Have you thought much about New England?

• Ben Roethlisberger: “Obviously, you think about it because everybody talked about them because they are undefeated. That's all over everything that has to do with news and sports is the New England Patriots. And deservedly so. They're a great football team offensively [and] defensively. It's going to be a challenge for us and we're going to have to come out and play great football.”

• Hines Ward: “It was our ninth win and now through the month of December we have a tough stretch of games here. New England, we're going to need all of our weapons out there. Everybody is going to have to play a flawless game. We're going to enjoy this one, there's no question. But there's not really a lot of time because we have to get ready for New England.”

"Hines Ward was Hines Ward."

“Hines Ward was Hines Ward tonight,” said Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin in his post-game comments. That’s not the first time we’ve heard Tomlin make that statement this season, and it encapsulates perfectly what we have come to expect from the stout, stocky, stalwart Ward, who established a new franchise record for touchdown receptions by catching two to surpass Hall of Famer John Stallworth. Congrats, Hines.

Yes, Hines Ward is Hines Ward, and Ben Roethlisberger was Ben Roethlisberger -- tough, resourceful, poised and determined. A standup guy.

And Carson Palmer was Carson Palmer: Stiff, skittish, mentally, emotionally fragile. Overrated. In his career vs. Roethlisberger, Palmer is 2-7.

What is it with this guy? Seriously, does anybody really believe anymore that Carson Palmer is a premier quarterback in this league, or for that matter better than Roethlisberger? For the night, Palmer completed just 17 of 44 pass attempts for a 30 percent completion rate, a mere 183 yards, and an abysmal 51.6 quarterback rating. He made only 11 of his last 37 pass attempts. Put another way, he misfired on 26 of his last 37, including 4 of 7 on third down, and zero for three on fourth down.

He didn’t throw any interceptions but, as one Cincinnati writer noted, “He didn’t even get it close enough to get intercepted."

The loss guarantees the 4-8 Bengals won't have a winning season under coach Marvin Lewis for the fourth time in his five seasons. Palmer’s been their “leader” at quarterback that entire time.

Loser.

The Bengals stink. Out loud. Still.

College Chaos

Pitt 19 - WVU 13

Well, we didn't see that one coming. Neither did anyone else. Congrats, Pitt Panthers, for salvaging some pride in an otherwise forlorn season. Yinz did yerselves proud 'n 'at, in the Centennial Edition of the Backyard Brawl.

Mountaineers? You'll never live this down. Never. This will be your legacy. Forever. No matter what else you do, people will never let you forget this one. Too bad for you. It's kinda sad.

Lots to watch this weekend …

Saturday

• The Backyard Brawl – In Morgantown, they’re lining up all the couches to burn, as the #2 Mountaineers prepare to bury Pitt en route to the national championship game.

Prediction:WVU 56 - Pitt 13 (Sunday post-game edit: Oops! Nix that prediction! Congrats, Pitt)

• #9 Oklahoma vs. #1 Missouri – #1 Mizzou hopes to overcome the Sports Illsutrated cover jinx and advance to the national title game vs. West Virginia. Otherwise, it’ll probably be Ohio State taking on the Mountaineers. Oklahoma already beat Missouri, 41-31, at Norman, giving the Tigers their only loss so far and holding them to their lowest point total of the season. Mizzou has scored more than 40 points eight times this year. This game, for the Big 12 Conference title, will be played at San Antonio.
  

Sunday

• Jets (2-9) vs. Dolphins (0-11) – The winless Fish are favored in this matchup, which this article calls “A Voyage of the Awful”. Yeah, and the Steelers lost to the Jets and very nearly lost to the Dolphish. Yikes.
  

• Cinci-Pittsburgh – If the Steelers lose this game, we’re looking uphill at the very distinct possibility of a three game losing streak, with New England and Jacksonville to follow the Bengals.

Monday

• New England vs. Baltimore – Looking forward to Ray Lewis going berserk as New England runs up the score.

Wake of the Flood

Remember a couple weeks ago when Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls expressed concern that the ridicule-ous playing surface at Heinz Field would provoke a serious injury?

Well, it was only a matter of time.

The Steelers today placed stalwart fullback Dan Kreider on injured reserve, ending his season. Kreider, who started the game Monday night, injured his knee in the game against the Dolphins.

Knee injuries happen all the time in football, and on any surface. Maybe the sloppy turf caused Kreider’s injury; maybe not – but we wouldn’t be surprised if it did.

To take Kreider’s place on the active roster, the Steelers promoted tight end Jon Dekker from the practice squad, which he occupied last season as well as this year. With Jerame Tuman placed on injured reserve last week, the Steelers were down to two tight ends. Now, with Dekker on board, they have as many tight ends (three) as centers (plus long-snapper Greg Warren). Dekker (6-5, 250) went to Princeton. Let’s hope he can block and contribute on special teams.

In any case, one can’t help but wonder how many injuries the Heinz Field turf has caused, or at least aggravated.

Looking Forward

The Bengals are just so cu-u-ute. Even cuter than the cheerleading Ben-gals, who at least are professional and tend to their business, as you can see in the photo.

No, the football-playing Bengals, when they aren't getting arrested, tend to be preoccupied with preening (T.J. Douchemandzadeh), gimmickry (coaches Marvin Lewis and Bob Bratkowski), cornholing (Carson Palmer), and made-for-TV sideshow antics (Chad Johnson).

Aas for the latter, as MJD observed Monday on Deadpin's "MJD Smorgasbord" ...

"Chad Johnson scores for the Bengals and then commandeers a CBS camera. I guess that's his whole act, he's going to pretend to be a cameraman for a few seconds. He'll get penalized for "excessive celebration," but I think in this case, that's a poorly named penalty ... this isn't celebration, this is choreographed attention-whoring. It doesn't feel like there's anything celebratory about it."

Well said. Then, there's always Chris Henry, notorious on many fronts, including the incident when police observed him vomiting out a car window as a teammate was being arrested.

Bengals, Bingles, Bangles, Bungles. It should be an interesting weekend.

Looking Back

It may be piling on at this point, but what the hell … Here’s yet another Sampling of Scathing Criticism From the Mainstream Media:

MSNBC: “Steelers, NFL, Should be Ashamed of Conditions”

"It was a disgrace."

SI.com: “Call It Muddy Night Football” …

“The Steelers couldn't have picked a worse time to lay down new turf. ”

ESPN: “Horrendous Conditions”

Miami Herald: “Soaked Field Angers Steelers Owner”

Palm Beach Post: ‘New’ Heinz Field Wilts Under Deluge

Wake of the Flood

In the blogoshere, Steelahs.com offers an excellent write-up on the history of exceptionally bad weather during Steelers-Dolphins games.

Then, back to mainstream media, there's this from respected columnist Ray Ratto, writing in the San Francisco Chronicle ...

"To all those people complaining about
the Heinz Field field Monday night:
It's November.
It's Pittsburgh.
It's football.
Shut the hell up."

Looking Good

Hopefully the reasonably good-looking weather forecast will allow the new sod to firm up at Heinz Field, in time for Sunday night’s game with the Bengals.

From today’s National Weather Service five-day forecast for Pittsburgh:

Tonight

Mostly cloudy. A chance of snow showers after midnight. Little or no snow accumulation. Lows in the lower 30s. South winds 10 to 15 mph. Chance of snow 50 percent.

Thursday

Cloudy with a chance of snow showers in the morning... then partly sunny in the afternoon. Little or no snow accumulation. Highs in the upper 30s. West winds 15 to 20 mph. Chance of snow 40 percent.

Thursday Night

Partly cloudy. Lows in the lower 20s. West winds 10 to 15 mph.

Saturday Night

Mostly cloudy with a 50 percent chance of snow showers. Lows around 30.

Sunday and Sunday Night

Rain and snow showers likely. Highs in the mid 40s. Lows in the upper 20s. Chance of precipitation 70 percent.

This forecast runs slightly askew of a report on Bengals.com ...

According to the National Weather Service in Wilmington, Ohio, there is a 30 to 40 percent chance of snow and rain Wednesday night and Thursday. The forecast is dry for Friday and Saturday until snow showers are to move in again Saturday night and Sunday with clouds predicted for most of the week.

Yet the Steelers aren't getting the same reports and told the Post-Gazette they are confident the field is going to be in much better shape after Tuesday was dry and sunny.

Club president Art Rooney II told the paper that rain is only expected on Thursday, and “from that standpoint, weather conditions are in our favor. We'll try to dry it out. They'll roll it, aerate it, do all the things they need to do to get it in good shape for Sunday. I think by Sunday it will be in good shape.”

Afternoon Additions / Fun Links

• Mondesi’s House: "Steelers Run Up the Score in Shutout of Dolphins"

• John Clayton (ESPN): “Steelers Go To the No-Puddle Offense”

• One for the Other Thumb: Well-deserved props to Tyrone Carter, James Farrior, Larry Foote and Daniel Sepulveda, among others

• D.C. Steeler Nation: Still Too Many Mistakes

• A Tuesday afternoon edition of the Monday Morning Chrysler NewYorker, over at Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies

• And, in honor of Joey Porter’s return to Pittsburgh, Pierogies ‘n ‘At yesterday listed “Joey Porter’s Top Ten Outrageous Moments”

• Fortunately at least this (Post Gazette: “Porter’s Dogs Get Loose”) didn’t happen (again).

Afterthoughts:

• Joey Porter's Pit Bulls still can’t figure out what the Steelers are trying to do with the center position. The Steelers carry three centers on the roster (plus long-snapper Greg Warren), and two of them, Darnell Stapleton and Marvin Phillip, once again were inactive for Monday night’s game against Miami. Meanwhile, starting center Sean Mahan continues to get tossed around like a rag doll. If he had gone down with an injury Monday night, who would have played center? Kendall Simmons?

• Watching the game last night, we kind of half-expected to see players run out with leather helmets and no facemasks.
  

• As Mondesi's House correctly noted, "Don't forget, the Steelers are now 2-0 with two shutouts without Troy Polamalu and Santonio Holmes in the lineup."

• Ah, the warmth, wonder and joy of the holiday season (via Deadspin)