Nothing to See Here, Just Keep Walking

Is it any surprise the Steelers extended Mike Tomlin's contract? No.

Non-story. They even allowed it to become known to the public! See, Pirates President Frank Coonelly, that's how you do it. You're allowed to let people know about contract extensions given to your most visible and public-facing people like John Russell, manager of the Pirates, and Neal Huntington, general manager.

No word on exactly when the Steelers and Tomlin came to terms on the three-year extension, but surely it wasn't eight months previously, as was the case with the Pirates.

Whether you like Tomlin and have confidence in him as head coach of the Steelers -- and we do -- there is much to be said for stability and continuity. The Steelers have enjoyed enviable success with just three head coaches in 41 years. Other franchises, clearly, have not.

Joey Porter's Pit Bulls have been watching the NFL Network's broadcast of last season's "Hard Knocks," which originally aired on HBO. Interesting viewing. "Hard Knocks" provides a behind-the-scenes look at an NFL team's training camp. Last season, it was the Cincinnati Bengals, who were coming off a 4-12 season after which the rehiring of head coach Marvin Lewis and his entire coaching staff was very much in question.

We all know what happened next: The Bengals turned things around. They won the division. They beat the Steelers twice; they beat the Ravens twice; they beat the Browns twice. They forged an identity as a physical team with a hard-running offense and a tough, talented defense. They infused young talent at key spots on the defensive line and at linebacker. Both young cornerbacks, Jonathan Joseph and Leon Hall, emerged as shut-down corners and showed they could start right now for the Steelers, and we'd be happy to have them. Those two comprise one of the best young corner tandems in the NFL (you'd have to include the Jets in that conversation, and the Dolphins, too -- but not the Steelers, unfortunately).

How this relates to the Steelers extending Mike Tomln's contract is this: The Bengals, who have long had all kinds of turmoil and changeover in their organization, finally showed commitment to some semblance of stability by sticking with Marvin Lewis, although there must have been much sentiment among the fan base -- and some discussion in the front office -- to start anew. Again.

Their faith in Lewis was rewarded, and in watching "Hard Knocks," you can see why. Lewis knows what he's doing. What makes this series fascinating is the view into the Bengals operations: the organizational decision-making processes; the candid look at negotiations with the agent for holdout first-round pick Andre Smith; the fringe players battling for roster spots; how roster decisions and player cuts are handled; how Lewis sets the tone; and, perhaps most interestingly, how the assistant coaches conduct their positional group meetings and interact with their guys -- several of whom have had notorious run-ins with the law. If anything, the Bengals' assistant coaches are the unsung heroes of that turnaround season. Very impressive.

The point is simply that there's a lot to be said for continuity. It's best for all involved with the Steelers that there be no lingering questions about Tomlin's contract status entering the season. It would be stupid to make him hang out there, twisting in the wind, like the Pirates did with Russell and Huntington. But, that's the Pirates. These are the Steelers.

It's going to be a challenging, difficult and rocky season in any case. The Bengals and Ravens have every reason to feel confident they've leap-frogged the Steelers. Weaknesses that plagued last year's Steelers' team remain unresolved until proven otherwise -- and those include the secondary, the offensive line and the special teams.

The off-season tumult further complicates everything -- exponentially.

The Roethlisberger situation certainly doesn't help. That's the biggest thing, obviously. Thanks, Ben. Scum.
Plus, Santonio Holmes is gone, Willie Colon is done, and the Steelers have a new offensive line coach, as well as a new special teams coach. Hines Ward isn't getting any younger, nor are the core starters on the defensive line. The last thing this team needs is any more uncertainty, and that includes the head coach.

Especially the head coach.

Big Boss Man

Say what you will about George Steinbrenner, the man knew how to steal the spotlight.

Born on the Fourth of July, Steinbrenner died on the day of the 2010 All-Star game.

It was if he chose to become the lead story on what otherwise would be a full day of agonizingly nauseous non-stop coverage of the week's only sporting event now that the World Cup is over.

Today, Steinbrenner and his legacy became the lead story on all the networks and the subject of conversation among baseball afficinados and casual observers alike. Everybody knows the name "George Steinbrenner," even if only from watching his caricature on "Seinfeld."

Today, Steinbrenner one-upped MLB's "mid-summer classic," which in recent years has become a tiresome affair --an over-hyped, hum-drum stinker of talking-head slobbering and non-stop media babble.

It was if he said, "This would be a good day to die."

No doubt, Steinbrenner was a natural showman -- but he worked at it, too. P.T. Barnum had nothing on Steinbrenner. Yet, for all his bombast, volatility and histrionics (in his first 25 seasons as owner of the Yankees, he changed managers 20 times), it would be an understatement to merely acknowledge he was a shrewd businessman and a passionate team owner. If only G. Ogden Nutting, principal owner of the Pirates, were a fraction as shrewd and passionate as Steinbrenner. For all we know, Nutting barely has a pulse. As for passion, we don't see it.

No such reticence or coyness with Steinbrenner. If Lou Gehrig was the Pride of the Yankees, George Steinbrenner demanded pride of the Yankees. He bought the franchise at its nadir and through sheer force of oversized personality ... through individual willpower and brashness, through business acumen and even cartoonish buffoonery ... Steinbrenner not only restored the Yankees' luster as the nation's premier sports franchise, he restored the New York Yankees as a metaphor for America.

It's a matter of perspective. To some, they're the Evil Empire. To others, they're winners. Pure and simple. Champions. The marquee franchise, the one to watch, for all the right reasons, or for all the wrong reasons. Which do you see? ... the Bronx Zoo? ... or the 27 world championships?

We see it all. No other team stirs such passion, pro or con. Depending on your perspective, the Yankees are: Privileged. Powerful. Successful. Advantaged. Lucky. Blessed. An indomitable force. Any or all of the above.

In any case, you can't ignore them, nor could you ignore their boss: Steinbrenner.

The Boss.

Former outfielder Paul O'Neill, who joined the Yankees in a trade from Cincinnati, said the first thing he noticed upon going to New York was that "We had an owner who was as intense about winning as the 25 guys in the clubhouse. He set the tone, and it filtered on down to the rest of us. Winning was everything to him, and that passion became ingrained in the players."

As bellicose and obnoxious as Steinbrenner clearly was, he also very quietly helped untold numbers of people in need. A man of excess, he was excessively benevolent, but you never heard about most if his charitable contributions. "Quiet" would seem to be out of character, but Steinbrenner appears to have been a man of contradictions.

So ... for a man of outsize dimensions in nearly every facet of life, is it any surprise that it took "a massive heart attack" to finally take his life? George Steinbrenner was a giant who cast a very large shadow indeed.

Joey Porter's Pit Bulls would say, "Rest in Peace," but we're sure George Steinbrenner would have none of that. He'd want to be the center of attention. Forget the All-Star game; he'd want a big fuss made over him.

He's getting it, and it's well-deserved.

How do the Pittsburgh Pirates even do that?

"How does a major league team even do that?"

That's the recurring question this year for fans and observers of the Pittsburgh Pirates. After a while,you realize you've been asking this question a lot: How does a major league team even do that?

Never mind the "corporate management" and front-office shenanigans, mendacity, duplicity, tomfoolery, chicanery, lousy talent evaluation and sheer incompetence -- that's another subject entirely.

We're talking on-field hijinks here, the kind that would make the Marx Borthers and Three Stooges proud.

Nearly every game, it seems, it's something else: baserunning gaffes (two men stuck on third base, for example); the fielding calamities (too innumerable to recount), the scratch-your-head-defensive shifts; the puzzling, pointless and futile roster moves (Dana Eveland, among others); the chronically abysmal starting pitching, the historically anemic offense -- it just goes on and on.

• How does a major league team lose a one-run game when a batted ball hits your baserunner to end the game?
  
• How does a major league team lose two games in one series by scores of 20-0 and 17-3?
• How does a major league team team lose 17 consecutive games on the road?
  
• How does a major league team get shut out nine times by July 10?
  
• How does a major league team go 2-13 in interleague play?
  
• How does a team lose a potentially game-sealing run because a batted ball ricocheted off an umpire?
  
• How does a major league team's starting third baseman (Andy LaRoche) have only 11 RBIs by mid-June?
  
• How does a team have one of its corner outfielders (Lastings Milledge) have only two home runs by mid-July?
  
• How does a team go 6-20 in June?
  
• How does a team commit more errors (four) in one game than the opponent, Oakland, scored runs (three) in yet another loss?
  
• How does a team have more errors (six) in a game than hits (five) in another loss (again to Oakland)?
  
• How does a team surrender 17 runs to an opponent (Texas) that also stranded 13 runners on base?
  
• And how does a team go more than a month -- spanning 30 games and 971 at-bats -- without hitting a home run with a runner on base?

Seriously, how does a major league team even do that? Any of it?? Let alone, all of it???

Now, with last night's loss in Milwaukee, the Pirates have a five-game losing streak. Keeping in mind the Bucs have yet to win four games in a row all season, the Pirates since June 6 have had:

1. a 12-game losing streak
2. a six-game losing streak
3. a five-game losing streak

Since June 6! How does a major league team even do that?

Let's re-visit that for a moment: From June 6 through July 10, the Pirates have compiled losing streaks of 12, six and five games.

HOW DOES A MAJOR LEAGUE TEAM EVEN DO THAT?

At Least We Don't Live in Cleveland

The "kinder, gentler" Joey Porter's Pit Bulls can take only so much. Following a wondrously disastrous June, we figured it was time to cut the Pirates a break. Look on the bright side, we said. So what if they were losing? They had brought up some of the young guys, and even had won five of seven games before embarking on their current road trip.

So much for optimism.

They promptly lost all three games to the dreadful Astros, and then, last night, lost in Milwaukee, 5-4, to put them 26 games under .500 for the season. The story of last night's loss was the collapse of the bullpen. As happens so often with this year's edition of the Pirates, however, there's always something else, shall we say, unique in the way they find a way to lose.

There were baserunning gaffes, of course, with Jose Tabata caught stealing and picked off, as well as a fielding error, by Ryan Doumit, plus the eight runners the team left on base. No, those sorts of things are neither unique or even unusual.

What was unique in this particular loss was something that happened in truly "only the Pirates" fashion.

As described by the Post-Gazette's Dejan Kovacevic, the Pirates "lost an apparent run in the eighth to lousy luck: Two outs after Garrett Jones doubled, Milledge grounded sharply up the middle, and it looked to be an RBI single that would have put the Pirates ahead, 5-2. But it ricocheted off the foot of second base umpire Chris Guccione and, by rule, Jones had to return to second even though Milledge got the single."

Only the Pirates. Unbelievable, but we're getting used to this sort of thing. We've come to expect it.

Then, just to pile on, there's the current edition of Sports Illustrated with a lengthy article titled, "Not a Pretty Picture," which describes the Pirates as "the most futile franchise in sports."

Whatever. One could make the case for the Detroit Lions, the Los Angeles Clippers, the Cleveland Browns, the Cleveland Cavaliers (ouch!) or anything else related to Cleveland, but at this point why quibble? G. Ogden Nutting, Frank Coonelly, Neal Huntington, et al, have created this mess, this laughingstock of a franchise, and we have to live with it (until Steelers season).

Maybe we're just being cranky.

Maybe we should look on the bright side: At least we don't live in Cleveland. Just like LeBron James -- right, Clevelanders?

Photo Credit: Benny Sieu, Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel

Random Recommended Link:
Check out The Society to Preserve Millvale Murals of Maxo Vanka,
St. Nicholas Croatian Catholic Church, Millvale, Pa.

A Happy Fourth of July Indeed

Fun day at PNC Park yesterday -- even, presumably, for the many Phillies fans attending, and even they were cool. It was actually nice to have them visit our fair city --there was no Santa Claus to boo, after all, and they were on their best behavior. And the Pirates won -- their fifth win in seven games.

So, a good day all around.

A perfect summer day, in fact, with entertaining baseball, an upbeat crowd, and a feeling of festive holiday fun. PNC Park and the city skyline looked gorgeous, as usual, the fragrant aroma of fried foods filled the air, and the Pirates won with a come-from-behind, six-run rally in the seventh inning and some fine bullpen work from new All-Star Evan Meek, Joel Hanrahan and Octavio Dotel.

The Pirates showed many promising signs of better things to come, hopefully.

With the Pirates looking at a 5-2 deficit and third baseman Pedro Alvarez walking to the plate to lead off the bottom of the seventh, this particular fan attending the game growled hopefully, "Now let's get back in it." Pedro obliged affirmatively, promptly belting a low line-drive home run carried with sudden impact and rapid velocity just to the right of the Heinz sign in straightaway center field. It was good to see, and another indication that Alvarez will be just fine, coming as it did following a lasered liner to right field earlier in the game and Alaverez's first major league home run the previous night.

This second home run was fairly no doubt, with the only question momentarily being whether the rope of a line drive would maintain enough height to clear the wall approximately 400 feet away. It did, and the Bucs were on their way.

The "Ryan Express" (Ryan Doumit and Ryan Church) followed with a single and double, respectively. After a pitching change, pinch-hitter Delwyn Young delivered a flare double down the left-field line to tie the game. Jose Tabata and Neil Walker then reached base before Garrett Jones emphatically rapped a line-drive single to bring both runners home and put the game out of reach. The bullpen sealed the deal, and everyone went home happy ... to walk the dog, spend time with family and friends, grill some food, share some laughs, ooh-and-ahh at the evening's fireworks, and then blow some stuff up.

Random thoughts:

• Congratulations to Evan Meek on being named to the All-Star team. Meek deserves it. Obviously, Andrew McCutchen could easily have been named to the team, too, and deservedly so.

• Garret Jones quietly plays a very solid first base, defensively. Jones started a nifty double play yesterday and handled several tricky throws. This is routine stuff for Jones, and maybe it's time he gets some credit for his defense, not that anyone notices slick defense at first base. Only brutal defense at first base gets noticed. But Jones provides a steady, reliable glove at first, and that's a good thing for an infield with rookies starting at second and third base.

• The numbers don't show it yet, but Jose Tabata and Pedro Alvarez look like they belong. Both players are starting to hit, and both should be fine.

June is gone. Forget about it, or consider it a life lesson. Sometimes you have to hit bottom to bounce back. The second half of the season is underway. Better days are here, and better days are ahead. This team has a long way to go, but it will be a fun to watch the rest of the way.

Coda Sez ...

Happy Independence Day!!!

As for last night's Pirates' loss, 12-4, to the Phillies, fuh-ged-about-t! It ain't nuthin'! We'll get 'em today, fellas!!

Sure, they'd won three in a row entering last night's game, but the Bucs haven't won four games in a row all season -- so why worry about it? There's plenty-a-time left!

It's a beautiful day for a ballgame! Jeff Karstens goes for the Bucs today vs. tomato can Joe Blanton. First pitch: 1:35 p.m., PNC Park.

The Pirates have a lot going for them this year. They're tied for the major league lead with eight wins when they score two or fewer runs. There's that. And, as pointed out today in the Post=Gazette, "Of the Pirates' 29 wins, 23 have come by two or fewer runs, the highest such ratio in Major League Baseball."

There's plenty to celebrate this Fourth of July! A Pirates win today, for one thing, sure as fireworks! ... and then, let's burn some meat on the grill, set off some explosions and blow some stuff up!!

“Thus may the 4th of July, that glorious and ever memorable day, be celebrated through America, by the sons of freedom, from age to age till time shall be no more.”
-- The Virginia Gazette, following the first Independence Day celebration, 1777, in Philadelphia, which included fireworks, cannons and toasts.

"Red necks, white socks and Blue Ribbon beer!!!"

It's the Fourth of July!!!!

Happy Birthday America!

For your edification, here is some more information about this most American of holidays, including ...

Some interesting tidbits and factoids about Independence Day/Fourth of July, courtesy of the Fort Wayne Journal-Gazette in Indiana. It notes that ...

"A popular e-mail that has circulated more than a decade on the Internet, often titled 'The Price They Paid,' seeks to explain 'what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence.' Unfortunately, much of the information is wrong, exaggerated or misleading.

"For example, the e-mail states that '9 of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.' In actuality, according to snopes.com, which researches the veracity of Web rumors, although nine signers did die during the war, none died from wounds or hardships inflicted by the British. One, Button Gwinnett of Georgia, died in a duel with a fellow U.S. officer."

Also, courtesy of The Billings Gazette in Montana: "What You May Not Know About Independence Day May Surprise You"

It's a Miracle in Milledgeville!

Ignore that photo above. It's from June, and that's ancient history. It's July now, and better days are here already!

Exhibit A: Lastings Milledge actually made a diving catch last night. So what if he's missed a ton of diving attempts this season. He made one last night, and it was a key play -- an ESPN highlight play no less -- in the Pirates' 2-0 (?!!) win (?!!) over the Phillies (???!).

It brought to mind his wondrous catch June 5, when he belly-flopped on the warning track in left field to make the diving catch for the snow-coned third out with the bases loaded in the ninth inning of a thrilling win over the San Francisco Giants -- and how's that for a run-on sentence?

Yes, last night, Lastings Milledge actually got a reasonably good break on the ball off the bat, took a straight-line path to the anticipated arrival point, launched into one of his patented belly-flop dives, and -- in a hold-your-breath moment -- actually came up with the ball secure in his glove. He looked as surprised as we were for a moment, but there it is. He made the catch, so give him credit.

For all the guff we give him, Joey Porter's Pit Bulls like Lastings Milledge. We want him to do well and to have fun doing it. As much as we've expressed wonder and dismay at his defensive follies, especially his uncanny ability to make diving attempts but come up just short ... we do like Milledge. We wish he'd hit for more power and play a better defensive game, but hey, look on the bright side: His average has been on the upswing for nearly a month, and now he's made another diving catch. It's all good.

Perhaps we fans could do something more to show support for Lastings Milledge. How about this -- Display a banner in a section of the right-field stands declaring it "Milledgeville."

No? Bad idea? Oh, that's right, that whole Ben Roethlisberger episode of Law & Order set in Milledgeville, Ga.

Okay, on second thought, scratch that ... maybe the Pirates' PR department can come up with something. Oh, never mind -- bad idea.

Bad Pirates: June in Review

As bad as the Steelers' June has been, they've got nothing on the Pirates.

That's right: The Steelers' entire off-season, as tumultuous and negative as it has been, arguably has nothing on the month just concluded by the Pirates.

Just a couple of telling examples of how June went:

1. On June 17, the Pirates had more errors (six) than hits (five) in a 7-2 loss to the White Sox in a display of fielding, pitching and batting ineptitude that overshadowed rookie Pedro Alvarez's debut. In that game, they committed four errors in one inning.
2. On June 27, the Pirates committed more errors (four) than the opponent scored runs (three) in a 3-2 loss to Oakland. In that game, they committed two errors on one play.

But there's more, oh so much more, and we'll get to that shortly.

During most of the past 17 years, the Pirates typically go into a June Swoon, spiraling completely out of contention and further into irrelevance, as people begin to count the days until Steelers' training camp.

This year, however, the Pirates outdid themselves. Beginning June 6 and all the way through June 27, the Pirates won two games. Two! For the month as a whole, they bumbled their way to a 6-20 record -- including 2-13 in interleague play and 2-17 on the road ... two-and-17!!??!!! -- to bring their overall season record to 27-51 (a .346 winning percentage) ... for a June Swoon to end all June Swoons.

Actually, they went above and beyond.

Yes, the Pirates indeed outdid themselves with their on-field incompetence but worse -- much, much worse -- with their front office mendacity, hijinks, shenanigans, tomfoolery, incompetence, chicanery, venality, and sheer incompetence.

Let's review.

In June, the Pirates managed to effect, endure and/or bring to culmination several public relations disasters and on-field fiascoes that included but were not limited to ...

• Deceit, Mendacity, Truth-Shading, and -- let's get real -- Prevarication by the Front Office -- This tops the list. Displaying all the PR savvy of BP and all the opaque transparency of North Korea, Frank Coonelly, Pirates president, finally revealed, grudgingly and on the crest of a 10-game losing streak, that general manager Neal Huntington and manager John Russell had received contract extensions during the off-season. "Gasp!" We're okay with Huntington and Russell receiving extensions -- what else were they going to do? -- but why withhold the information? What was the point? Why be coy (deceitful) about it? What were they trying to accomplish (hide)? This isn't like other businesses. To a degree, it's a public trust. Are Coonelly and owner Bob Nutting ashamed to admit they gave their two most visible, public-facing guys contract extensions? Coonelly and Nutting should be ashamed -- not that they handed out extensions, but that they shaded the truth, withheld vital information and deceived the media and (more importantly) their customers. While doing so, they let Huntington and Russell twist in the wind of myriad rumors and rampant speculation that they were about to be fired. For no discernible reason, either. The result? Pirates' president Frank Coonelly torpedoed his own fragile credibility, and that of the entire corporate management team (including [and especially] owner Bob Nutting), by repeatedly refusing to disclose this information. With this tomfoolery, Coonelly and Nutting shredded their own credibility. Trust and credibility cannot be bought and cannot be easily rebuilt. Not by those characters (Coonelly, who has the appearance of a law-degree-wielding hatchet man; and Nutting, who operates in the shadows). Would you trust anything else these guys say? Didn't think so. Not at this point. It's as if they deemed the public not worthy of the information. It's as if they were saying, "We don't trust anybody else because ... well, we don't even trust ourselves. And we don't trust ourselves to be open, candid and honest because ... well, because we know better. We know we're shifty. Shaky. Slithery. Snaky. Underhanded. We just assume everybody else is, too. We don't trust anybody else because we ourselves are not trustworthy." That's a terrible, terrible thing. It's a shame. Sadly, pitiably, however, that's the message team president Frank Coonelly sent. Only the Pirates.

• Speaking of Management Foolishness -- Expressing dismay at the Pirates' performance by saying he was "shocked" and "frustrated," owner Bob Nutting evoked Claude Rains's Capt. Reynaud in Casablanca: "I am shocked -- shocked! -- to find incompetence in this organization!" Yeah, okay, cheap shot, but really, how could he be shocked? He presides over this mess.
  

• The Standings -- The Pirates opened the month 10 games under .500 and closed it 24 games under .500. On June 1, the Pirates were in fourth place, ahead of Milwaukee and Houston. Today, of course, they’re in last place -- 16.5 games out of first place.

• The Great Pierogie Purge of 2010 -- This stupidity made national news and truly made the Pirates' organization a laughingstock. Someone in Pirates' management apparently had nothing better to do than ... monitoring the Facebook postings of part-time pierogies? That even SOUNDS ridiculous. And who gave THAT directive? Really, don't they have anything better to do? Apparently not. Only the Pirates.

• The Curious Case of Aki Iwamura -- After finding no takers in a trade, the Pirates finally demoted Iwamura, their big off-season acquisition and highest-paid player ($4.85 million salary) to Class AAA Indianapolis. This, after Iwamura couldn't his weight, batting .182 or something, while showing absolutely no ability to play defense or even run. At all. Ridiculous. Only the Pirates.
  

• The 12-Game Losing Streak -- This losing streak speaks for itself. The Pirates went from June 6 to June 19 without winning a game. Only the Pirates.
  

• A Six-Game Losing Streak -- Apparently uncomfortable with winning a game or two after losing merely 12 in a row, the Pirates returned to their familiar comfort zone -- and promptly resumed their losing ways with a six-game losing streak. Here's a nugget that frames the entire month of June: Beginning June 6 and all the way through June 27, the Pirates won two games. Two!!! Now that is truly amazing. Only the Pirates.
  

• Seventeen Consecutive Losses on the Road -- The Pirates in June managed to achieve major league baseball's second-worst road losing streak of the past 40 years. The Buccos capped their streak in astonishing, if not unbelievable fashion, by losing in Oakland after two bizarre play sequences late in the game: (1) Catcher Jason Jaromillo dropped a foul pop-up in the eighth inning of a tie game, only to have the batter hit a home run two pitches later; and (2) End the game by having a base runner, Pedro Alvarez, get hit by a batted ball ... which is something you rarely see in major league baseball -- and certainly never to end a game. You couldn't make this stuff up. Unbelievable. Only the Pirates.

• Two Serious, Concussion-Inducing Collisions Involving Second Basemen and Right Fielders -- Unbelievably, and this ain't funny, the Pirates in June managed to have two infielder/outfielder collisions ... within three days ... at virtually the same spot on two different fields ... involving two separate sets of second basemen and right fielders ... resulting in concussions for the two second basemen, Neil Walker and Bobby Crosby, both of whom were playing well at the time they got hurt. That's right: two cities; two Pirates' second basemen; two Pirates' right fielders; two collisions; two concussions. Only the Pirates.

• Ryan Church, Now Batting .174 – On June 11, Manager John Russell inserted outfielder Ryan Church, batting .190 at the time, into the lineup as “Designated Hitter” to open an interleague series in Detroit. Predictably, Church went oh-for-four. As the DH. Over the month of June, for what it’s worth, Church batted .100, going 4-40 at the plate. Yikes. That particular night’s lineup in Detroit also had Lastings Milledge, with no home runs, starting in left field; Aki Iwamura, batting .178, starting at second base; Jason Jaromillo, batting .185, at catcher; and catcher Ryan Doumit starting at first base. Jarmomillo had a passed ball and Doumit, playing out of position, had a fielding gaffe that could have been called an error, and the Tigers unceremoniously beat the Pirates. For what it’s worth, later in the month, Russell once again fielded a lineup with three position players batting .200 or less. Only the Pirates.

• The Ryan Doumit Experiment at First Base – Apparently wanting to prove that Doumit could indeed play first base, manager John Russell put Doumit back in the lineup at first the very next night in Detroit. Doumit committed a crucial error that led to Detroit scoring the go-ahead run late in the game, which the Pirates lost 4-3 for their seventh straight loss, dropping them to 16 games under .500 -- on June 13.

• Andy LaRoche, Utility Infielder – Following that same June 13 game in Detroit, general manager Neal Huntington admitted the obvious and let it be known publicly that struggling third baseman Andy LaRoche would lose his starting job at third base to super-prospect Pedro Alvarez once Alvarez was promoted to the big club. Huntington didn’t say when that would be, or why Alvarez hadn’t been promoted already, but he did make it clear that soon, LaRoche would no longer have a starting job. It might have had something to do with the fact that it took LaRoche more than a third of the season to accumulate just 11 RBIs. Projecting to about 33 runs batted for the entire season – for a corner infielder – that ain’t good, but it’s incredible.

• The Stephen Strasburg Debut – Also on June 8, The Pirates played the Washington Generals to rookie Stephen Strasburg’s Harlem Globetrotters in Strasburg’s sparkling major-league debut, which rightfully received unparalleled national media coverage as the most-anticipated rookie debut in generations. Strasburg more than lived up to the hype by striking out 14 Pirates and walking just one in seven innings to win his first major league game. He closed out his performance by striking out the last seven Pirates he faced.

• NFL Head Coach Rex Ryan “Strikes Out” Two Pirates – Following Strasburg’s debut, even New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan used the Pirates as comedic stooges. Having fun at a press conference in New York, Ryan showed spliced video clips of Pirates batters Lastings Milledge and Delwynn Young flailing away at pitches from Strasburg – but appearing to have been thrown by Ryan, who had thrown the ceremonial first pitch at a New York Mets game earlier in the week. The rotund Ryan was just having fun – it just happened to be Pirates superimposed onto the screen to make them appear to be swinging and missing at “pitches” thrown by the roly-poly, white-haired coach. Only the Pirates.

• The 40^th Anniversary of Dock Ellis’s LSD No-Hitter -- On June 12, the Pirates – okay, maybe not the Pirates, but Pirates fans and baseball observers across the nation – noted the 40^th anniversary of the late, great Dock Ellis’s LSD No-Hitter in San Diego. For a particularly trenchant take on the feat, watch the DVD, “Weapons of Self-Destruction” by comic Robin Williams, who offers uniquely appreciative and insightful observations on what it must be like to pitch on LSD in a major league ballgame. It took years for Ellis to overcome his reluctance to talk about pitching a no-hitter on LSD. He overcame his reticence, however, after becoming a counselor on addictions – it was as if he said, “Oh, what the hell ... " – and described one play accordingly: “One point I covered first base, and I caught the ball and tagged the base, all in one motion, and I said, ‘Oh, I just made a touchdown!’” Rest in Peace, Dock Ellis.

• The MLB Draft -- On June 8, the Pirates participated in the yearly amateur player draft. The Bucs, holding the second pick in the draft, rolled the dice and selected hard-throwing high-school pitcher Jameson Taillon. It was a gutsy pick and, in fact, general manager Neal Huntington called it “gut-wrenching” – which indicates doubt, angst and anxiety – and therefore may not impart a lot of confidence to anxious fans longing for an infusion of talent. It may not matter much in the long run: The Pirates still have to sign Taillon to a contract, and that’s not a given.

• Tony Sanchez’s Season-Ending Injury – This was another of those freaky “bad-luck” incidents where 2009 first-round draft pick Tony Sanchez, who had been playing extremely well, was hit by a pitch that broke his jaw. This was a real shame for Sanchez, who in recognition of his all-around play had been named to the Future All-Stars game the very day he got hurt. He had been playing so well, in fact, that many observers (like this one) had been wondering aloud why he had not been promoted to Class AA Altoona already -- which turned into frustrated and dismayed second-guessing after the injury. Now Sanchez's forthcoming promotion will be delayed indefinitely. He will likely lose the rest of the season -- a huge step back, as he loses valuable developmental time in his quest to reach the majors.

• The Beer-Stein Typo – With everything else going on, this gaffe went under the radar a little bit, but the Pirates even screwed up a promotional giveaway to fans attending PNC Park on June 19. The team handed out very nice ceramic beer steins to highlight the Pirates’ 1960 championship season. The glasses contained a picture of the 1960 team and box scores of all seven games in the 1960 World Series. Just one problem, from what we understand: One of the scores contained a typo – and showed the Yankees beating the Pirates in a game the Pirates had actually won. “E-Bay here we come!” Only the Pirates.

• The Dana Eveland Debacle -- This may not have matched the sheer futility and absurdity of the Aki Iwamura Fiasco, but still … on June 23, the Pirates released newly acquired pitcher Dana Eveland, for whom general manager Neal Huntington had recently acquired in a trade. Pitching just nine-and-two-thirds innings in just three games with the Pirates, including one start, Eveland surrendered 15 hits and posted an 8.38 ERA. The Pirates released Eveland following a losing effort – not all his fault, or even mostly his doing -- in Texas in which the Rangers scored 14 runs on 17 hits -- and, incredibly, still left 13 on base! Thirteen LOB on top of 14 runs scored … all without slugger Josh Hamilton in the lineup ... so let's be thankful: It could have been worse. Only the Pirates.
  

Yep, this was a doozy, a memorable June for the ages -- a memorable month to forget.

Finally, a Win on the Road

Woo-hoo! The Pirates won a road game for the first time in 18 games spanning more than a month.

Now if only their right fielders and second basemen would stop colliding, they should be okay. "It's like the Bermuda Triangle down there," observed Manager John Russell.

It's always something.

After describing last night's collision between Lastings Milledge and Bobby Crosby, the Talking Blabbermouth on ESPN's SportsCenter just had to say, "Milledge has been having some problems out there."

Always with the negative. So what if Milledge can't get out of his own way in the outfield -- let's look on the bright side.

Since June 9 -- coincidentally (?) the very day outfielder Jose Tabata was called up from Class AAA Indianapolis to take Milledge's starting job in left field -- Lastings Milledge has the highest batting average in the majors (.436) to raise his season average from .246 to .276. On Sunday in Oakland, he even hit his first home run of the year. So there.

It's all good. The win last night in Chicago pushed the Pirates' season record on the road to 10-31 and their overall season record to to 26-51 for a .342 win percentage. Yay! The win last night also improved their record in June to 5-19 -- things are looking up!

Tonight, it's Jeff Karstens vs. Ted Lilly, whom the Buccos own, along with the Cubs overall. In fact, the Bucs have won eight of 10 so far this season vs. the Cubs, and we fully expect the winning to continue. They're on a roll!

Beat 'em Bucs!