The Cleveland Browns Suck

The Browns suck and are a rolling clown car of a franchise.

Here's how the 2014 season will shake out: Early excitement, as Browns' fans love Johnny Manziel, and he enjoys sporadic flashes of success while generally having trouble adjusting to the speed and complexity of the NFL game. Cleveland struggles on offense. Manziel lasts five games before head coach Mike Pettine turns to Brian Hoyer. Hoyer sucks, too, and the Browns do little on offense.

Owner Jimmy Haslam gets called before a grand jury. Manziel goes to Vegas and signs with MTV as the star of his own reality show. On defense, the Browns' corners turn out to be not all they're cracked up to be. Manziel is reinstated as the starting quarterback. Cleveland finishes 4-12.

During the off-season, Haslam announces that Pettine has been fired, along with general manager Ray Farmer, and that Manziel has been traded to the Toronto Bills, who immediately name him the starting quarterback for the 2015 season opener vs. the London Jaguars.

Cleveland fans cry.