D-Day for the Penguins?

Fatcat Boss BIG ED RENDELL is strong-arming supposedly meeting in last-ditch negotiations with Mario Lemieux, Ron Burkle and other executives of the Pittsburgh Penguins today in Philadelphia (?!).

Why is it that Boss Rendell LOOKS like a crook cigar-chomping, old-style machine politician? He is? Gee, what a surprise … who would’ve guessed?

The incompetence of our civil servants shady, blundering election-stealing smoky backroom-dealing elected officials is mind-boggling.

Frankly, we’re not surprised, but let’s hope it’s not too late to save the Penguins.

Our blogging friends over at The Dock Ellis Experience today have posted a tremednously passionate column.

Check it out.

They list phone numbers for the whole crooked cockeyed crew (Rendell, Onorato, Ravenstahl, etc.), while imploring all of us to make some noise.

Hey, at this point, it couldn’t hurt.

*Photo/Illustration credit: Stacy Innerst, Post-Gazette

Say it ain't so!

The Las Vegas Penguins does NOT have a ring to it.

Viva Las Vegas

(words & music by doc pomus and mort shuman)

[sung by Elvis Presley; lip-synched by Mario Lemieux and Ron Buerkle]

Bright-light city gonna set my soul,
Gonna set my soul on fire.
Got a whole lot of money that’s ready to burn,
So get those stakes up higher

How I wish that there were more
Than the twenty-four hours in the day
‘cause even if there were forty more
I wouldn’t sleep a minute away

Oh, there’s black jack and poker and the roulette wheel
A fortune won and lost on every deal
All you need’s a strong heart and a nerve of steel
Viva las vegas, viva las vegas

From Mondesi's House

Mondesi's House does an excellent job describing 79 reasons why it's hard to be a Pirate fan, which was featured as the Pirates' 2007 season preview on Deadspin. Congrats.

Corners, anyone?

Cal’s Pro Day, courtesy of the San Francisco Chronicle: Cornerback Daymeion Hughes, whom many have projected as a mid-first round pick (hint, hint), says he tried to make up for a disappointing 40 run at the NFL Combine in Indianapolis.

“At last month's NFL Scouting Combine in Indianapolis, Hughes, who said he was slowed by a back injury, ran a 4.65, and most draft experts deemed his stock to have taken a more precipitous fall than any of the other 300 potential picks at the event.”

Also, according to the Chronicle:

“Most of the 30-plus professional scouts who attended Tuesday's athletic meat market at Memorial Stadium clocked Hughes at 4.56-seconds, but he said one scout told him that he ran a 4.47.

"If you play with a stopwatch and start it and stop it as fast as you can, it's like a tenth of a second," Hughes said. "That's the difference in a 4.4 and a 4.5, and I don't see how that plays a very big deal in your football ability."

“No one is questioning Hughes' ability or his production. Before he was injured at the Senior Bowl, he put on one of the game's most impressive days of practice, starting to refute the perception that he'll have to play for a Cover-2 team in the NFL.

"We all care about the measureables," one NFL scout said, "but I'd gladly have him on my team if he falls to us."

Hmmm. Probably not a pick for the Steelers – they have more glaring needs – but, still, you can never have too many cornerbacks.

Hughes isn'even the highest-rated corner this year, but if the Steelers trade down, they could probably pick up Hughes late in the first round or early in the second ("Quick, get Chicago on the speed dial!"), and address filling another need with the extra pick.

Nah, the Steelers have more glaring needs.

Don’t they?

Well, don’t they??

After all, it’s not like Ike Taylor was benched late last year or anything, or like DeShea Townsend is getting old, or Ricardo Colclough is a bust or anything, right?

Right???

Over at Stillers.com, though, CK Stiller (Feb. 22 entry) makes a compelling case against drafting a cornerback in a high round this year, and he’s probably right. We’re confident Ike will be fine, and we don’t want to tie up too much cap money against one position. The O-Line (Levi Brown?) and defensive front seven (Jarvis Moss? Paul Psluszny?) need to be upgraded this year, and it’s not like teams in the NFL pass very much or anything, right? Oh.

Punt!

“Now on the clock in the 2007 NFL draft, the Pittsburgh Steelers. And, with their sixth-round pick in the 2007 NFL draft, the Steelers select Andy Lee, punter, University of Pittsburgh and San Francisco 49ers.”

The Steelers essentially are giving the 49ers their sixth-round pick in April’s draft for the rights to sign Andy Lee, the Niners’ punter of the last three seasons.

The Steelers must have figured they’d take a young guy (Lee is only 24) with NFL experience (three years already) rather than take a chance on an unknown commodity or, worse, the known commodity that is the Steelers’ incumbent punter, 37-year-old Chris Gardocki, whose performance last year was abysmal.

Is Lee really an improvement, though? Almost certainly, and nearly anybody would be. How much of an improvement, though? Hard to say, but don’t expect too much.

Lee’s gross average per kick was significantly better: nearly three yards better than Gardocki’s (44.1 vs. 41.3) – but their net average, respectively, was about the same (36.8 vs. 36.7). We have no idea about Lee’s hang time.

Money? Terms of the Steelers’ offer to Lee have yet to be made public. The money is probably close to what Gardocki was to make in 2007 – about $1 million a year – but presumably with a longer contract, say, three years instead of one.

In trying to wrap our arms around this development … and let’s face it, the Steelers’ punting game was a serious sore spot last year … here’s’ some data n’ datta, facts and thoughts:

• The 49ers had tendered Lee a one-year, $850,000 qualifying offer. Because he’s a restricted free agent, any NFL team could better that offer and, if accepted, the 49ers would receive that team’s 6^th-round draft pick in April.
• That’s because the 49ers used a sixth-round choice to draft Lee in 2003.
• Under NFL rules, the 49ers have until Tuesday to match the Steeler’s offer or waive that right and receive a sixth-round draft choice, which is what they used to draft Lee in 2003.
• The 40ers will waive their rights to Lee.
• The Steelers will give up a sixth-round draft pick and use Lee as their new punter.
• Still, Lee’s performance last year, in terms of net average, was only nominally better than Gardocki’s:
• Lee averaged 44.8 yards a punt last season; 36.8 net.
• Gardocki averaged 41.3 gross; 36.7 net.

Then there’s this bullshit statement from Lee’s agent, Eddie Edwards, who was quoted in today’s edition of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

"In my estimation, he punted in the most difficult stadium in the NFL," said Edwards, who has a Pittsburgh office. "In (San Francisco’s) Monster Park, the wind is unreal. Look at his stats: He was seventh overall in the NFL [in gross average]. You put him in a stadium with a neutral weather pattern, he could have been tops."

Gotta call bullshit on that statement. After all, since when does Heinz Field have a neutral weather pattern??!!!

Lee will be punting at Heinz Field, not Heinz Hall.

Ask Josh Miller, Jeff Reed, Tommy Maddox, Ben Roethlisberger and the thousands of season ticket holders in the 600 level whether Heinz Field has a “neutral weather pattern” … or if it has bitter, swirling winds, especially in November, December and January.

Speaking of which, isn’t it fair to speculate that Lee also benefited from playing six games a season on the road in the relatively benign conditions of the NFC West? … where San Francisco’s opponents include the Arizona Cardinals (paradise), the Seattle Seahawks (generally mild weather) and the St. Louis Rams (dome stadium). By contrast, the Steelers’ opponents in the wintry AFC North include the Cleveland Browns (hell), Cincinnati Bengals (hell) and Baltimore Ravens (hell).

Granted, Lee has experience punting at Heinz Field during his days at Pitt, and his experience punting in San Francisco’s wind should not be totally discounted.

Still. Are the Steelers really making an improvement, especially when you factor in money and the forfeiture of a sixth-round draft choice? Tom Brady was drafted in the sixth round. We’ll see.

There’s one other connection for Lee in Pittsburgh, and that is new special teams coach Bob Ligashesky, who coached Lee when Ligashesky was the special teams coach at Pitt. Clearly, the Steelers wouldn’t have signed Lee without Ligashesky’s endorsement. Let’s hope he knows what he’s talking about, but we have a feeling he’s a goofball.

Finally, there’s another bullshit statement from Lee’s agent, again courtesy of the Post-Gazette, but what else do you expect from agents?

“Edwards said he does not know if the 49ers will match the offer and that Lee was not unhappy in San Francisco other than not being able to reach a long-term contract before he became a restricted free agent March 2. The 49ers have changed special teams coaches this year.

"San Francisco is not displeased with his performance. It was based upon the uncertainty with a new guy (a new special teams coach) coming in and how he fit in with the system."

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls gotta call bullshit on that one, too: “How he’ll fit in with the system”???!! Hey. He’s a friggin’ punter. Get rid of the ball, don’t let it get blocked, get good hang time, punt toward the sidelines or pin it inside the 20, and give your gunners a chance to down the ball or make a tackle.

It’s not rocket science. It only seems that way to the likes of Bob Ligashesky.

Footnotes:

Yikes! Reportage in the Bay Area is that the Steelers offer to Lee is six years, $7.1 million (an average of about $1.183 million per year).

Fan Forum in the San Jose Mercury News: Keep Andy Lee! And more of the same … plus this comment from the 49ers Fan Forum in the San Francisco Chronicle:

“I would DEFINTELY match or beat Pittsburghs offer for Lee. He has been a great punter and allowed the 49ers to stay in all their wins and especially games with Seattle and Denver. To not sign him would be silly with a punter who can get a suspect defense out of trouble and help them own field position ...a good punter gives the defense hope and improves the offense's chance of success. Punters are usually highly under valued.”

Ka-Chinggg!!!

Well, that didn't take long.

Joey Porter is cashing in, and good for him. Today's Post-Gazette reports the Miami Dolphins have signed Peezy to a new contract, the terms of which include a $12 million signing bonus and $20 million in guaranteed cash -- which is all that really matters -- as part of a five-year, $32 million contract.

Well-played, JP, well-played.

Ol' 55

Sooner or later ...

It was bound to happen.

See ya, Joey, and good luck. Thanks for the years and especially for speaking the truth during the 2005-06 Super Bowl run when you called out the Indy Colts ("They're soft!") and Seahawks' tight end Jerramy Stevens ("What's he ever done?!!").

Thanks also for sustained periods of stellar play and team leadership, as well as for the occasional blips of bombastic comic relief and thought-provoking insights and interviews that make us go, "huh."

For all the goofy shit you'd say and do, Ol' 55, a lot of times you made more sense than anybody.

Good luck to you and your family, and your pit bulls, too, although ... THESE here pit bulls aren't going anywhere. We're hungry.

Oh, and one other thing: It would be overstating the case to say these things come in threes ... but R.I.P. former Steelers Elbie Nickel and Lloyd Voss.

Elbie Nickel, a highly accomplished pass-catching tight end during the '50s, was honored by being named to the Steelers' 50th anniversary team. Lloyd Voss (#65) was a run-stuffing defensive tackle who played in the 1960s on an extremely nasty, vicious and brutal front four that was the immediate predecessor of the Steel Curtain. Although the team's record in Voss's era was abysmal, nobody savored facing that violent defensive front. Voss's linemates were fellow defensive tackle Chuck Hinton (#64) and defensive ends Ben McGee (#63) and Big John Baker (#68 and size 16 shoes).

Rough hombres, all four of them, in the Steelers defensive tradition carried on by the likes of Joey Porter. May the tradition continue.

Links:

Ed Bouchette's article in Friday's Post-Gazette.

Classic quotes from Joey Porter. Check 'em out.

Blog 'n Gold coverage from the Post-Gazette.

Ron Cook: Joey Porter Was a Terrific Teammate

Post-Gazette Slideshow: "A Salute to Joey Porter"

Deadspin's take on the news: Make sure to read the comments.

Just because we can: The Mighty MJD's "Letter"

And, to cap it off, a salute to "Ol' 55"
(lyrics by Tom Waits):

Well my time went so quickly,
I went lickety-splickly out with my old '55
As I drove away slowly, feeling so holy,
God knows, I was feeling alive.

Now the sun's coming up,
I'm riding with Lady Luck,
freeway cars and trucks,
Stars beginning to fade,
and I lead the parade

Just a-wishing I'd stayed a little longer,
Oh, Lord, let me tell you
that the feeling's getting stronger.

And it's six in the morning,
gave me no warning; I had to be on my way.
Well there's trucks all a-passing me,
and the lights are all flashing,
I'm on my way home from your place.

And now the sun's coming up,
I'm riding with Lady Luck,
freeway cars and trucks,
Stars beginning to fade,
and I lead the parade ...

And, no, not THAT Joey Porter.

THIS Joey Porter, and THIS one, too!

Oh, oh ... We didn't do it! Honest!!

Michael David Smith over at AOL Fanhouse reports another incident of pit bulls mauling a horse to death ... this time a race horse.

Sheej, impressive, not that Joey Porter's Pit Bulls approve of that sort of thing, of course.

Brown ... out

God really does hate Cleveland sports.

LeCharles Bentley, the former Pro Bowl center who was the Brownies’ big free-agent acquisition of the off-season before last, appears to be lost for the season again and may be perilously close to a forced retirement due to a ruined knee.

He has yet to play a down for the Browns, who signed him to anchor a woeful offensive line and counter the strong interior defensive linemen in the AFC North, particularly Casey Hampton, the Steelers’ All-Pro nose tackle.

What Happens in Vegas? ... STAYS in Vegas???

Uh, maybe not. Read about the warrant in the Pacman Jones brouhaha.

Jason Whitlock, columnist for the Kansas City Star and AOL Sports, was in Las Vegas for the NBA All-Star Game this past weekend. He reports general mayhem reigned the streets, casinos, parking lots and “gentlemen’s clubs" all weekend. He also speculates what next year’s NBA All-Star Game in New Orleans might require in terms of police presence military personnel.

Hardy Carr-harr

The mess in Texas continues … no, not that one over in Crawford.

In Houston, the NFL's Houston Texans supposedly want to trade quarterback David Carr, the former number one overall draft pick (2002 draft) by the then-expansion Texans.

The team signed Carr to an extension before last year’s NFL Draft because the Texans thought they … well, who knows what they were thinking?

Drafting University of Texas quarterback Vince Young last April would have made too much sense, apparently.

Ditto Reggie Bush.

But now, when Jake Plummer – Jake Plummer? – starts to look like an improvement at quarterback, the Texans must know they're in trouble. Head coach Gary Kubiak reportedly likes Plummer because, well, the ol’ familiarity factor, since Plummer played under for Kubiak when the latter was offensive coordinator of the Denver Broncos.

Anyway, the Texans’ troubles -- and Carr’s -- are well-documented. And, as noted over at Rumors and Rants ...

“The Texans' O-line opens up wider than Paris Hilton's legs after 3 mojitos. He was sacked 41 times in 2006, and that was an improvement over the previous few seasons.”

In the Box, High Sticking

An enthusiastic female fan of Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins expresses her desire for young Mr. Crosby to aim for the "five hole." In hockey parlance, that’s the, uh, open space (?) between the, uh, goaltender’s (?) legs.

Goal. Tender. So that’s what the kids are calling it these days. Huh. Who knew?

Photo is courtesy of Deadspin via The Burgh Blog. Make sure to read the Deadspin reader comments.

The young woman's family must be very proud.

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

It’s Shrove Tuesday, also known as Fat Tuesday or, as an old buddy liked to call it, “Fat-ass Tuesday.” Until Easter, depending on your predeliction, Fat Tuesday represents the last opportunity to get Fat, to indulge, to eat jelly donuts, beignets, étouffée, Shrimp Po’ Boys, gumbo, crawfish stew and jambalaya … plus, of course, your adult beverage(s) of choice.

Personally, Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls lament that every day isn’t Fat Tuesday, but that’s just us.

Laissez les bon temps rouler! (“Let the good times roll!”)

“Down south in New Orleans, the prettiest girl I ever seen
Sparklin' eyes, lips so sweet, we make the love to the rhumba beat
Ship's at anchor, my suitcase packed
Got a one way ticket, I ain't comin' back
Life's a pleasure, love's no dream
Down south in New Orleans

“My green-eyed baby, I'm on my way
Back into your arms to stay
I'm tired of work, I want to play
And I love you night and day”

Play Ball!

It's baseball season. Well, that is, if you discount the 9^oF temperature outside and the ice-encrusted snow drifts that had the dogs thoroughly confused and unpleasantly surprised with every paw-step that cracked the deceptively thin and treacherously slippery sheen of ice caked over the five inches of snow on the football field last evening. Step, crack!, leg sinks into the snow, step, crack! leg sinks into the snow … repeat times four, each step, for each dog, and times two, each step, for my own bad self and … damn tiring work. Anyway …

Spring training complexes across Florida and Arizona are emerging from their offseason cocoons, which means we will be talking baseball more and more during the coming weeks and months.

Baseball lends itself to discussion. After all, who says baseball players aren’t just like you and me? Take former Pirates pitcher Jon Lieber, for example. The 37-year-old Lieber, now with the Phillies, has been the subject of trade talk much of the offseason. As noted in the Philadelphia Daily News, Lieber is coming off a poor year and is projected as the Phillies’ sixth starter in a five-man rotation.

None of this seems to be of much concern to Lieber, however, as he drove up to the Phillies’ spring-training complex in a brand new Ford F-650 pickup truck with six doors, a satellite dish and $210,000 worth of accoutrements.

Ford’s off-the-factory-line pickups are F-150, F-250 and F-350, meaning the F-150 will carry a one-and-a-half ton truckload, the F-250 a two-and-a-half ton truckload, etc. So, by extrapolation, Lieber’s F-650 will carry six-and-a-half tons, or 13,000 pounds, in its bed alone, and who knows what it will tow (drag) behind it.

A little ostentatious? Hey, he’s a blue-collar guy, right? He probably needs it to haul stuff around on weekends, mulch and tree limbs and the like. It’s not like he can afford to hire people to do that kind of work or anything, y'know? And it's not like he's trying to compensate for, well, whatever.

Still, lamentably, Lieber has his critics, such as the fine writer at Bugs and Cranks:

“A Ford F650 SuperTruck. 6-Doors, 45-inch wheels(!), seating for seven, a satellite dish and customized leather interior. Now that’s gaudy! I mean, you could theoretically invite six friends over to your truck to watch football games every Sunday. It looks like a Transformer for chirssakes. This is like the Maybach for Iowa farm boys. Kudos, Jon Lieber. A truly ostentatious purchase worthy of VH1’s 'Fabulous Life of …" Again, sorry."

And this, from one of the B&C commenters, BlueMoonModem:

"And the rest of the world hates us because …”

***

So much for Mr. Lieber and his Tonka Toy.

We’ll be following the escapades of not just the Pirates, but all of baseball during the next few months. Over at McCovey Chronicles, for example, you can expect to routinely find highly entertaining writing such as …

“When the Marlins were offering nude photos of (team owner) Wayne Huizenga for (reliever Armando) Benitez and several million dollars, I was hoping the Giants would jump on the offer.”

There’s plenty more where that came from, and many fine Pirates-related blogs to enrich our lives as the weather turns from winter to spring and summer.

Yet another reason to live.

"Say It With Dead Flowers"

A severe winter storm, computer outage and even more severe inertia and lethargy combined to prevent Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls from posting the entry we had crafted for Valentine’s Day.

It’s just as well.

Valentine’s Day was always for other people, anyway. For me, it was usually the day I was reminded that other people do, in fact, do that sort of thing — but only when I’d walk into my favorite neighborhood cocktail lounge in the early evening and see couples canoodling while they waited for their reservations to be called at the overpriced, overcrowded restaurant next door.

And then I’d remember, “Who are these annoying people? Oh, yeah, it’s Valentine’s Day.”

And then I’d go over to the jukebox and play “Dead Flowers” by The Stones.

Oh, well.

Didn’t do that this year. But Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls are glad the extended run of pre-Valentine’s Day commercials is finally over … you know, pretty much the same commercials that ran, pre-Christmas, for overpriced but cheap-ass jewelry store chains like Jared, J.B., Robinson, Zale, Kay’s, J.C. Penney and Sears, for cryin’ out loud, to name the most egregious offenders. At least that’s over.

As Mick Jagger sang, “Say it with dead flowers …and I won’t forget to put roses on your grave.”

Hey! Look Who's Back!!

Emerging from an extended hiatus are the guys over at The Dock Ellis Experience, one of our favorite blogs. Dock Ellis, in case you didn’t know, was an All Star-caliber pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates in the 1970s.

One evening in San Diego, he pitched a nine-inning no-hitter … while on LSD. Sure, he walked eight and hit a batter, but otherwise he was seeing his pitches as multicolored laser trails in a zone. And people wonder why we follow sports.

Anyway, Dock Ellis's trippy no-hitter inspired the blog name, The Dock Ellis Experience, and, as Jimi Hendrix said in his song, “Third Stone From the Sun,” “Not necessarily stoned, just … beautiful.”

Besides, we’ve always liked the following rationale, offered at the end of the first-ever post on The Dock Ellis Experience:

“Will anyone read this? I don't really give a fuck... I'm bored and I always read other people's shitty opinions so I thought maybe it's time to give the world mine, so here it is...”

Words to blog by.

Sympatico

Kansas City Star columnist Joe Posnanski, an empathetic voice of reason, writes sensibly about the Penguins' possible move to Kansas City and efforts to arrange for a new arena in Pittsburgh to replace the aging Civic Arena (yeah, we know what the corporate name is now).

Thanks, Joe. By the way, being a Cleveland native, how do you feel about the Steelers?

Anna Benson is Livid

We wonder what poor Anna Benson will do now that hubby Kris Benson will miss the entire 2007 baseball season with a torn rotator cuff. Kris Benson, the under-achieving former Pirates' pitcher who never attained the success projected for him as an overall No. 1 draft pick, once again has come up injured. And we can only surmise the seething reaction of Anna Benson, the temperamental, volatile, publicity-seeking former stripper who seemed to rely on Kris to help her attain the fame and fortune she so clearly seeks.

Think she's going to be happy with Kris shelved, out of the spotlight, sitting around doing rehab? Didn't think so.

With the passing of Anna Nicole Smith last week, Anna Benson seemed like a logical candidate toassume the mantle of high-profile, silicone-implanted, whacked-out celebrity bimbo run amok in the tabloids and other unsavory spotlights. Now, who knows? Maybe Kris's latest injury, however, will provoke her to ramp up her game for exponentially more berserk and provocative behavior.

The following is from the safe-for-mainstream-media Associated Press:

"In 2005, his first full season with the Mets, Benson allowed three runs or fewer in 19 starts. He was 10-8 with a 4.31 ERA, but New York won 17 of the 28 games in which he appeared.

"But the Mets traded Benson for pitchers Jorge Julio and John Maine. There was speculation that the deal was perpetuated by the behavior of Benson's wife, Anna, who has her own Web site and publicly discussed intimate details of their sex life. "Mets general manager Omar Minaya contended that Anna Benson was not a factor in the trade. Anna Benson asked for a divorce in late March last year, but rescinded the request within the week."

The Firing Line: Line Up the Usual Suspects

Well, that hit like a lightning bolt.

Adios, Marty Schottenheimer, who follows his protege Bill Cowher into the land of former NFL head coaches. It's a shame for Marty, who seems like a decent enough guy and has a sterling record for regular season wins over his long career, but still ... he will be remembered for so many negatives: the boneheaded, overly conservative play-calling late in games; the "choker" label; the ignominious 5-13 record in the playoffs; the inability to win "The Big One;" and the scorn and opprobrium heaped upon him by columnists and bloggers, including, but not limited to, The Big Lead and FireSchottenheimer.com.

Not that we dispute or object to any of that.

Actually, after four AFC Championship Game losses during the Cowher era (not to be bitter), some of us Steelers fans understand all of that.

On a brighter note, what a plum job has suddenly come available. The Chargers had the best regular-season record, 14-2, in the NFL last season. The talent on that team is ridiculous, arguably as good as any in the NFL.

So, how long till the rumors start that the Chargers management cabal is courting Bill Cowher to take over the reins in San Diego? Nah, the Chin wouldn't do that to his former mentor.

Would he?

Nah. So, who will take the reins in San Diego?

As Claud Rains, playing Capt. Louis Renault, said in Casablanca, "Line up the usual suspects."

Whatever

Well. That Clears That Up.

In Pittsburgh, an Allegheny County judge today granted Steelers All-Pro defensive back Troy Polamalu permission to legally change his name.

"It’ll scare the piss out of you, just watching it.”

Thanks to Mondesi's House for providing a link to this terrific piece by Gary Andrew Poole in recognition and appreciation of the late, great Hunter S. Thompson's classic coverage of Super Bowl VIII in Houston (1974).

“Hey, Look! ... Mellencamp’s Truck Commercial is On Again!! ... And It’s Been So Long Since We’ve Seen It!!!”

The Mighty MJD nominates Mellencamp’s cloying and insipid commercial as a contender for the worst television ad of this NFL season. It has some heavy competition, including Jessica Simpson’s spot for DirecTV and Strahan/Jared for Subway. Ugh.

Well, since Chevy and its ad agency won’t let it drop, neither will we.

"Commitment to the Run"

Steelers coach Mike Tomlin has emphasized that he believes any successful team must have a strong running game. All too often, however, “commitment to the run” is but a forgotten platitude. Example A: Witness how the New Orleans Saints gave workhorse stud running back Deuce McAllister only six carries in the NFC Championship Game against the Chicago Bears.

So, give the Chicago Bears credit for playing to their strength early in the NFC Championship Game and sticking to the run on a key second-quarter drive against the Saints. Running back Thomas Jones carried the ball on all eight plays of the drive, which culminated in a two-yard touchdown run.

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls love this sort of drive, which was dissected and analyzed nicely by Michael David Smith at Football Outsiders.

Nothing demoralizes a defense more than being unable to stop the run. Then, when the defense overcompensates and stacks the line to try to stop the run, it becomes vulnerable to the aerial attack – which is what happened later in the Bears-Saints game.

The Indianapolis Colts have their notice.

R.I.P. Barbaro, Our Equine Friend

"Special"

The Steelers have a new special teams coach. Bob Ligashesky most recently worked in the same capacity for the St. Louis Rams, whose special teams last year were even worse than the Steelers’, which is a little disturbing.

What in the name of Ricardo Colclaugh are they thinking? Dunno.

We don’t know anything about Ligashesky, except for a little insight shared by a colleague who played on the same high school football team as Ligashesky, who grew up in McKees Rocks:

“As if it mattered to anybody else, he was always concerned with how he looked in his uniform, even during plays. It was like he was more concerned with his appearance than with how he played. His wristbands always had to be just so, and his neck roll was special-ordered, too.

“He was a baby. When he’d lose, he’d cry.

“When he was an assistant coach under Walt Harris at Pitt, he was the goofball who engineered that Swinging Gate fiasco. There was no reason for that. Nothing he ever did had a reason. His life had no reason. He was always a gimmick guy, a prima donna, a pretty boy. He always had to come up with something cute.”

Oh, oh: “Cute.”

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls hate “cute.”

For what it’s worth, the Steelers hired Ligashesky one day after he was fired by the Rams. Courtesy of the Pittsburgh Steelers Fanatic blog, here is how the Rams’s special teams last year compared (unfavorably) to the Steelers’ special teams:

For the season recently completed the Rams' special teams ranked this way compared to the rest of the league (and compared to the Steelers):

• Punt Return Average: 25th (Steelers: 19th)
• Kickoff Return Average: 26th (Steelers: 21st)
• Net Punting Average: 12th (Steelers: 18th)
• Opponent Punt Return Average: 19th (Steelers: 2nd)
• Opponent Kickoff Return Average: 28th (Steelers: 18th)
• Opponent Net Punting Average: 31st (Steelers: 21st)

Cute. Not.

Igloo Postcript: A Philadelphia Writer’s Perspective

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls happened upon the following note posted on these here Internets by a Philadelphia-based hockey writer who visited the Civic Arena early this season. Sorry for the lack of attribution, but sometimes we’re just not very smart. Anyway, it’s his take on the Igloo and the Burgh:

“I know the Igloo needs to be replaced, but I honestly love this kind of building. It has a ton of personality. Lots of odd angled overhanging sections of seats that you can tell were added to try and keep it up to snuff with the newer 20,000 seat monster buildings. To get to the press box you need a map. The building itself feels like you are in an actual Igloo. The giant dome, that used to be able to be opened until they put the big scoreboard in, plays havoc with perspective if you are not careful. It would have been so awesome if it still did open I thought. Nights like this past week, the Pens could have played their game in the open air.

“The room where the media eats prior to the game is the same room that the team holds their postgame press conferences. So you can have leftover chocolate cake while asking Evgeni Malkin’s interpreter if he ever shattered glass with his slapshot. It is all part of the cool, intimate feel of the Igloo.

“Malkin on the ice absolutely blew me away. He may become known as one of the most complete players to ever play the game. Skates like Sergei Fedorov, stickhandles like Alexander Ovechkin, drives the net like Cam Neely, passes like Mario Lemieux, hits like Scott Stevens, and shoots like Bobby Hull. He is one of those guys that I’d pay to see play any night. Sidney Crosby is another, of course.

“After the game I was famished, and the Steelhead was mobbed, so I hopped a cab to ‘Southside’ and had some pancakes at Tom’s Diner. The place was filled with young hipsters, and a few with Pens jerseys on. A group of girls at the table near me were having a funny discussion about the last men they were ‘with.’ That kept me entertained.

"Pittsburgh is truly a blast. I was amazed, when I drove the second time it was only 4 hours door to door for me. If you are in Philly, NY, Wash, or the Midwest you really should see a game in this building before it is gone.”

The Igloo

Amid the current furor and public clamor for a new hockey/concert arena in Pittsburgh, the Post-Gazette’s Brian O’Neill recounts the early days of the Civic Arena, also known as “The Igloo” and currently sporting the corporate-sponsored moniker of “Mellon Arena.”

Built in 1961, the Civic Arena was originally conceived as a venue for the Civic Light Opera. Over the years, the building has played host to the Pittsburgh Penguins, various circuses, truck and tractor pulls, wrestling extravaganzas, the Ice Capades and thousands of memorable concerts.

Many people today don’t realize the arena was built with a retractable roof, which no longer operates. Like Brian O’Neill, Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls attended the same Bob Dylan concert played with the roof open on an early summer evening. Dylan did his usual thing, which was to play dozens of songs you know but wouldn’t necessarily recognize because he rendered them in entirely new melodies or arrangements that were throughly entertaining anyway.

We saw another concert, by Pink Floyd, when the roof opened during the concert. All of a sudden, during “Dark Side of the Moon,” the roof began to retract, the band continued to play, and thousands of stoned fans looked aloft in wonderment as the hovering cumulous cloud of smoke above them wafted into the starlit sky. “Whoa-oohhh.”

A lot of people today say the Civic Arena is a dump, and it probably is. But we’ve always been fond of it.

We've always been fond, too, of the beauteous feminine pulchritude that is Shania Twain. That's her in the photos, by the way -- in concert, yup, you guessed it, at the Civic Arena.

Dewey Defeats Truman

In Saturday's edition of The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, "reporter" Mike Prisuta cited "a source in Pittsburgh" as confirming that Russ Grimm had been offered and had accepted the job as new head coach of the Steelers.

Wrong.

On WDVE-FM this morning, Prisuta backslid and hemmed-hawed about reporting such a grievously erroneous story, and because of this disingenuousness, we can't let it go. Neither can Ryan at Heels Sox and Steelers. Prisuta should be embarrassed, if not ashamed of himself. At the very least, he should step up and admit he made a mistake. People forgive mistakes.

From the Insomniac's Lounge

In Monday's entry titled, "Super Bowl Shuffled," Insomniac's Lounge has a typically on-point yet skewed take on the state of the NFL playoffs, media coverage of the two Super Bowl coaches, religion, histrionics and general tomfoolery. It's worth a read, and you'll get lines like the following:

"The passes Brady was tossing to Caldwell were so soft, even Terrell Owens could have held on to them. But Caldwell was dropping them like Bill Belichick drops a mistress."

Hot Stove Update: The Post-Gazette's Brian O'Neill, also known as The Stats Geek, makes a compelling argument for the following Pirates lineup order, from slots one through eight: Chris Duffy, Freddy Sanchez, Jason Bay, Adam LaRoche, Xavier Nady, Ronny Paulino, Jose Bautista and Jack Wilson.

We couldn't agree more. It makes so much sense it will never happen.

It Feels Right

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls like the selection of Mike Tomlin as the new head coach of the Steelers. By all accounts, the man has his act together. He’d better, because it will be a hectic week for him.

Besides conducting interviews with the media, closing out his relationship with the Minnesota Vikings, taking care of personal family business and getting more familiar with people in the Steelers organization, he will have to assume actual head coaching responsibilities RIGHT NOW.

This will entail lining up assistant coaches, dealing with the media and attending the Senior Bowl workouts this week in Mobile, Ala. As St. Louis Rams head coach Scott Linehan observed, “The Senior Bowl’s the best evaluation we've got other than the (NFL scouting) combine,” Linehan said. “The (campus) workouts are fine, but they rank No. 3 in my book. ... At the Senior Bowl, you get to watch them (practice) football. And doing what we do. It's a pretty good measuring stick.”

Tomlin’s players in Minnesota reportedly are universally disappointed he’s leaving them but happy he landed a head coaching position. Here’s just one quote sampling:

“It was the things he said, and sometimes the most important things are the things you don't say,” defensive lineman Ross Kolodziej said. “Sometimes coaches have a tendency to blow stuff up, and he was an extremely cool customer.

“He never loses his composure or his poise, and that kind of trickles down to the players. I never saw him come in at halftime and kick something over. He always portrayed the fact he was in control, and that's important in a leadership role: to always be calm under fire.”

Clearly, the Steelers didn’t want to wait another two weeks or so until Ron Rivera, defensive coordinator of the Super Bowl-bound Chicago Bears, became available. Rivera’s defense did a more than commendable job in limiting the New Orleans Saints’ offense to just two touchdowns while forcing four turnovers on Sunday.

Yet the Steelers’ management staff evidently believe they made the right choice with Tomlin. It’s just a gut feeling, but we do, too.

We’ll have more to say about this hiring over the next few days. For now, suffice to say that it feels right.

One more observation: “Let me tell you something, I've talked to some old coaches who felt Mike Tomlin should have been a head coach (already),” said former Super Bowl MVP quarterback Doug Williams, a personnel executive for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. “It ain't about age. Presence. Charisma. Knowledge. People skills. Organizational skills. I think Mike Tomlin has it all.”

Upon Further Review: Here's the view from Mondesi's House.

A Sunday Audition?

When the New Orleans Saints visit the Chicago Bears on Sunday afternoon to determine which NFC team will advance to the Super Bowl, do you think Bears Defensive Coordinator Ron Rivera will have in the back of his mind that the performance of his defense may well play a key factor in determining whether he will win the Steelers' head coaching job?

Does it ratchet up the already considerable pressure on him? Will it indirectly affect his preparations for the game or his in-game decision making?

Probably not, but these are fair questions.

After all, the Saints, who racked up nearly 500 yards against the Steelers’ defense yet somehow managed to lose the game, have a formidable offense that last week tallied, again, nearly 500 yards against the Philadelphia Eagles.

In the pressure-cooker of an NFC championship game at home in Chicago, how will the Rivera-led Bears defense hold up? How will they compare to the Steelers’ defense’s performance in their regular-season game against the Saints?

Is that even a fair comparison? Probably not.

Whatever the case, it has become clear the Steelers will wait until Monday, at least, to decide who will succeed Bill Cowher as the team’s head coach. The Steelers have no reason at this point to hurry their decision. It appears no other teams are clamoring for the services of either of the other two candidates, Mike Tomlin, defensive coordinator of the Minnesota Vikings, or Russ Grim, assistant head coach and offensive line coach of the Steelers.

So, the Steelers have the luxury to see how Rivera performs as he leads his squad in the glare of the national spotlight during Sunday’s conference championship game.

It will be no easy task.

As noted here in the week before the Steelers hosted the Saints on Nov. 12, the Saints’ offense has a deep corps of explosive receivers and running backs, a completely rebuilt yet effective offensive line and a smart, veteran leader in Drew Brees, who has emerged as one of the league’s elite quarterbacks.

So ... will defending against this squad in Sunday’s game represent, essentially, an audition for Ron Rivera as prospective head coach of the Steelers? How much weight will the Steelers’ management team put into this one game? If his defense flops, will he even get a second interview with the Steelers? Or has the decision been made already?

Some media pundits have concluded the Steelers have already opted to hire Russ Grimm. They’ve said the tell-tale sign is that the Steelers refused to allow Ken Whisenhunt, the new Arizona Cardinals head coach and former Steelers' offensive coordinator, to interview Steelers’ assistant coaches Keith Butler and Bruce Arians for positions on his staff. Isn’t it possible, however, that Steelers’ management had a discussion on this topic with Mike Tomlin? Isn’t it conceivable that Tomlin said he would like to retain most of the current assistants, including Butler and Arians?

Hey, at this point, anything’s possible.

Red Flag Warning: Keep in mind one thing with respect to both Rivera and Tomlin: Both coach defenses in the NFC North, which is arguably the NFL’s weakest division. The Bears are clearly the division’s best team, but that may be faint praise considering they are followed by the 6-10 Vikings, the non-descript Green Bay Packers and the abysmal Detroit Lions.

The better ― and more revealing — test for Rivera and the Bears defense will be on Sunday at Soldier Field against New Orleans.

Here come the Saints.

A Different Perspective

The Mighty MJD offers several, shall we say, "interesting" links on his "Cliff (Stoudt) Notes" page at the aol.Fanhouse.

And, with his "Letter From Tom Brady's Poodle," The Mighty MJD continues his ever-entertaining "Letters From Pets" series, the highlight of which, in our opinion, was the classic "A Letter From Joey Porter's Pit Bulls," which more or less served as the inspiration for this particular lame-ass blog. Keep up the good work, MJD. A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

A Little More Seriously

All righty, then.

The Steelers have interviewed Minnesota Vikings Defensive Coordinator Mike Tomlin a second time.

Some people would say the second interview of an NFL head coaching candidate essentially represents a job offer.

We disagree.

It does represent, however, a pretty serious second date.

There will be no third interview.

The next phone call from the Steelers to Mike Tomlin will either be a job offer or an expression of thanks and best wishes.

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls had never heard of the guy until a few weeks ago. Having gotten to know a little about him through media reports these past few days, however, he seems likeable enough. He's a Tony Dungy protégé. Tony Dungy was a Chuck Noll protégé, and what’s not to like about that?

Based on what we heard during a press conference last evening following his second interview, Tomlin says all the right things.

Still, Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls remain skeptical.

It’s one thing to say all the right things during a job interview or a press conference. It’s another to actually do the job.

As noted today by Ed Bouchette in The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Tomlin’s Vikings’ defense this past year ranked first in the NFL against the run, but it tied for last against the pass. Granted, this is always a dicey equation and cannot necessarily be taken at face value.

More interesting, perhaps, is the Vikings’ pass rush stats for quarterback sacks — a mere 30 — a total that is below the league average of 36.4.

That’s with a 4-3 defense. What does it all mean? We have no idea.

Yet Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls are beginning to wonder if it might not be time for the Steelers to switch from their existing 3-4 defense to a 4-3. The Steelers’ linebacking foursome this past year showed serious signs of deterioration, especially at the outside pass-rush positions. We expect the linebacking corps to be rebuilt very soon – perhaps this offseason.

Plus, it’s entirely conceivable that a core front four of Brett Kiesel, Chris Hoke, Casey Hampton and Aaron Smith would be highly effective. So, it seems, the Steelers might have the base personnel to switch to a 4-3 defense, even if it raises the following (major) question: Would that entail switching James Farrior to an outside linebacker position and having Larry Foote man the MLB position? Again, no idea.

Still, there is another reason to consider switching to a 4-3 defense: The Steelers divisional rivals have built their respective offenses to defend – yes, that’s the appropriate word – defend — against the Steelers’ brand of 3-4 defense. It’s time to cross them up.

We’re not really sure what else to say at this point, so we’ll leave the last word for this entry to Mike Tomlin:

“I'm a fundamentalist as opposed to scheme. I think football is a tough-man's game, it's an attrition game. You win by stopping the run and being able to run the ball effectively — and doing the things winners do, being a detailed-oriented football team, playing with great passion and executing.”

No Grimm Puns Here

All right, all right: We know.

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls are overdue for weighing in with our worthless opinions on the Steelers’ coaching situation.

There’s just not much to say.

The Steelers’ next head coach will be Russ Grimm.

Unless …

Unless it’s Ron Rivera of the Chicago Bears or Mike Tomlin of the Minnesota Vikings.

If, in fact, the choice is either Rivera or Tomlin – both of whom are defensive coordinators – what would that mean for Dick LeBeau, the Steelers’ own highly respected and well-established defensive coordinator?

We can’t believe an incoming coach – any coach – would not want Dick LeBeau as his defensive coordinator. Both Rivera and Tomlin, however, apparently are proponents of schemes different than what the Steelers have been running under LeBeau. But that’s not to say LeBeau couldn’t adjust to a new coach, or vice-versa.

Perhaps the Steelers’ brass simply wants an infusion of outside blood? Do they want to completely revamp the Steelers’ style of play? Perhaps they believe the 70-year-old LeBeau plans to retire in a year or two, anyway, so now is as good a time as any to make a complete overhaul?

Nah. We think not.

Russ Grimm knows this team, he would retain most (if not all) of the remaining assistant coaches and, by all accounts, he is more than well-qualified for the job. Finally, as noted here previously, he was “Assistant Head Coach” under Bill Cowher, which made him second in line of command and, presumably, the logical successor to Cowher, even though Ken Whisenhunt, as offensive coordinator, was the more publicly high-profile assistant coach.

It’ll be Russ Grimm. And we’re okay with that. We think.

Designing Content for PDAs, the iPhone and Other Small Screens

With the buzz generated by last week's iPhone announcement, Creativepro.com weighs in with a pragmatic consideration for those of us who develop Web content for people who use mobile devices such as Treos, Blackberries and other PDAs, not to mention the soon-to-be-launched iPhone.

Resentful

All right. Let’s get this straight. I am grateful to be employed. Nobody owes me a living or, for that matter, the observance of a national holiday.

Having said that, I resent having to work today. It is, after all, a National Holiday.

Either observe it as such, or let’s have an open discussion of just what constitutes a national holiday.

Let’s see … where do we draw the line? Oh, that whole Civil Rights Movement? Just a footnote in history, right?

Martin Luther King, Jr. represents the figurehead for whom this holiday is acknowledged (at least in academia and government), yet this particular day really is in recognition of the struggle for civil rights in this country.

There was a day, not so long ago, when the fathers and mothers of my friends and neighbors of color were referred to either as “nigger” or “colored.” Hopefully, those days are gone, forever, in no small part because of the civil rights movement.

It's just my opinion, but the Civil Rights Movement does, indeed, merit a day of reflection.

All I'm saying is, let’s remember what this particular holiday signifies.

Many American companies, however, including the one for whom I work, require their employees to work today. It's as if the day ... and the Civil Rights Movement ... doesn't count. Not in the grand scheme of American commerce.

I suppose what drove it home for me was that one of my clients, a British company with offices in the United States, is observing this day as the American holiday that is. Officially.

Frankly, I feel badly for my friends and co-workers of color who, like me, have to work today.

It is, after all, a national holiday.

Think Tank, Schmtink Tank

Ray Charles could've seen this coming.
And just who are "America's Enemies?"

Back From Mad Ave.

Interesting; productive; fun.

Intellectually engaging client.