Laugh It Up: The Bucs Play the Nyuk-Yuck Stooges for NFL Head Coach

As if we needed any more evidence that the Pirates are a laughingstock and fodder as everybody's comedic foil, an NFL head coach joined the fun last week after he threw the ceremonial first pitch at a New York Mets game.

New York Jets coach Rex Ryan used video of Pirates' batters Lastings Milledge and Delwynn Young for comedic material. Ryan arranged for video juxtaposing himself with video of Washington Nationals' rookie phenom Steven Strasburg's 14-strikeout debut against the Pirates last week.

As reported on Taragana's Sports News blog, Ryan opened his news conference the other day by evaluating his ceremonial first pitch, and comparing himself to Strasburg ...

“Two stars, very similar,” Ryan said as the video played. “Two outstanding pitchers. Look at the movement here. Yep, two great ones.” Just to further show how unhittable he could be, Ryan had Pittsburgh’s Lastings Milledge superimposed into the video of his pitch. ... Milledge, as he did against Strasburg on Tuesday night, swung through the pitch.

“Yep, it’s still a strikeout,” Ryan said. “Swings, misses and it’s a strikeout.”

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Oh, go ahead, just pile on. Pirates fans should be used to it by now.

It was pretty funny. But still.

It just shows to go you -- the Pirates are a laughingstock.

And so it continues ...

On this, the feast of St. Anthony of Padua, the Decline of Western Civilization continues ... well, okay, maybe not the decline of western civilization, but the long, dark decline of the Pittsburgh Pirates certainly continues.

With their loss in Detroit last night, the last-place Bucs have lost seven in a row and are a full 16 games under .500. It's only June 13, for crying out loud.

The Pittsburgh Crawfords uniforms the Pirates donned last night are cool, though. Now, if only the actual Pittsburgh Crawfords from the 1930s were wearing those uniforms, we'd be okay. With five future Hall of Famers, that was a great team.

This Pirates' roster is a joke, and the lineup insults baseball fans everywhere.

Never mind the point that Pedro Alvarez should be with the club already. What's the thinking behind Ryan Doumit getting work at first base? It seems pointless, unless they're showcasing his versatility and "position flexibility" for a possible trade? Steve Pearce will return soon, so what's the point of playing Doumit at first base? Doumit has looked uncomfortable and out of place there.

Doumit's error last night led to Detroit scoring the go-ahead run in the seventh inning. The Tribune-Review reports today that Doumit feels bad about the whole thing ...

"Ryan Doumit sat in his stall in the visiting clubhouse at Comerica Park and stared at the floor. True, first base isn't his usual position. but the Pirates' regular catcher wasn't going to use that as an excuse for his error that led to two runs in the seventh inning, giving the Detroit Tigers a one-run lead. And even though the winning run came on a Carlos Guillen homer in the 10th inning off Brendan Donnelly for a 4-3 victory, that didn't matter to Doumit.

"When you first start playing baseball, the first thing your dad and your coach tell you is, 'Keep your eye on the ball,' " Doumit said after the loss, the Pirates' seventh in a row to match a season low. "I just didn't keep my eye on the ball. Does this one (stink)? Yeah. Am I going to lose sleep over this? Yeah."

And so it goes.

This is no great surprise, but it's official -- Neal Huntington says Andy LaRoche will be a utility infielder when Pedro Alvarez is promoted next week (presumably).

How many futility infielders can one team have? The Pirates now have LaRoche, Bobby Crosby, Aki Iwamura and Delwynn Young. Perhaps they brought Neil Walker up with the expectation that he would be a utility player, but he's put a stranglehold on the second base job, thank heavens.

Bob Smizik writes that this is the worst Pirates team in 50 years, which probably is giving it too much credit (especially considering that 50 years ago, the Pirates fielded a world championship team that beat the Yankees -- which makes this year's club look all the worse by comparison).

In any case, the mid-1980s teams have to be in the discussion, but you might have go back much further: The 1953 team was worse, and one for the ages. This year's edition might be the worst since then.

Smizik makes some good points, including the following about the lineup in Friday night's game in Detroit:

"By the time Detroit closer Jose Valverde had struck out two in a 1-2-3 ninth, Ryan Church, the DH and No. 5 hitter, was batting .190. No. 7 hitter Aki Iwamura was at .178 and No. 9 hitter Jason Jaramillo .190. Add to that mix No. 6 hitter Lastings Milledge, who does not have a home run in 192 at bats this season, and it’s easy to see why the Pirates offense is the worst in MLB with 198 runs in 61 games."

The Pirates truly are a laughingstock. Oh, and by the way, the Pirates are a major league-worst 71-112 in interleague play. Jeff Karstens vs. Armando "Almost Perfect" Gallaraga today. What could possibly go wrong?

Just a few words ...

As far as Ben Roethlisberger is concerned, the less said the better at this point.

Joey Porter's Pit Bulls are so disgusted with Roethlisberger, we don't have much to say about him. We'd just as soon hear even less from him.

Roethlisberger has returned to team activities and, last week, conducted his first interviews in his first fledgling PR attempts to refresh his image. Talk about trying to polish a turd.

The NFL Network showed brief excerpts from Roethlisberger's sit-down with KDKA-TV's Bob Pompeani.

In the brief clip, Roethlisberger ...

• Talks about himself in the third person -- which admittedly is not the worst thing in the world -- not like being a serial rapist or anything like that -- but it's irritating all the same. It indicates an elevated sense of self-importance and an exaggerated sense of self-entitlement. That's the kind of attitude that has gotten Roethlisberger despised, with a horrible reputation among bartenders, restaurant servers and "little people" all across Pittsburgh, as was detailed in the Sports Illustrated cover story, among other places. More significantly, it's the kind of attitude that got him into trouble in the first place -- into real trouble with the law and in the court of public opinion.

• Roethlisberger said, "Nobody can question my commitment to being the best player I can be on the field." The counterpoint is that several of his own teammates and coaches have questioned his commitment to on-field performance and self-improvement as a player ever since Roethlisberger came into the NFL. This has been documented in print and broadcast media, including the recent "Beyond the Lines" segment on ESPN. For him to make such a statement indicates a level of denial that shows he just doesn't get "it" -- and isn't willing to see it.

• Denies he's ever had a problem with alcohol. This is serious denial. In response to a question from Bob Pompeani, Roethlisberger said verbatim, "I have never had a problem with alcohol." When he said that, the alarm bells went off: "Ding-ding-ding!!!"
  

• The counterpoint here is that, "Ben, uh, dude, apparently you do have or the least have had a problem with alcohol. You drank like a champion, just like the tee-shirt in that photo says. You got into trouble when you were drinking. You put yourself in bad situations when you were drinking. You acted reprehensibly when you were drinking. And you created problems for yourself and others when you were drinking. So, yeah, you have had a problem with alcohol, and for you to deny you ever did indicates that you probably still do have a problem with alcohol."
  

• So, in point of fact, for Roethlisberger to say he's "never had a problem with alcohol" indicates a fairly serious level of denial on a whole 'nother level than talking about himself in the third person or claiming nobody can question his level of commitment on the football field.

All this doesn't really amount to much. These statements of his raise red flags, however, that indicate Roethlisberger still doesn't "get it."

If the light fails to go on, Roethlisberger will get in trouble again. And then it'll all be over.

As far as we're concerned, he's still a douchebag. If he thinks this little PR campaign will be accomplished by giving a couple of softball interview with local friendlies, well ... he just doesn't get it. Still.

There may be darker days ahead.

The Pirates are absurd, ridiculous, disgusting, disturbing, humiliating, offensive and insulting.

The Pirates' lineup last night in Detroit was absurd.

Well, the Pirates' lineup 'most every night is absurd, but that's beside the point.

With the opportunity to have super-prospect Pedro Alvarez in the lineup screaming at them, who did the Pirates insert in the lineup at designated hitter?

Ryan Church.

That's all that needs to be said. They deserved to lose.

They -- Neal Huntington, John Russell, Frank Coonelly, Bob Nutting; i.e., the Pirates management team -- they are beating themselves.

By keeping Alvarez at Indianapolis even one more day, the Pirates are doing themselves and Alvarez a major disservice, and they are insulting the fans.

They are insulting the fans.

Not that they care.

What do they think we are, stupid? Okay, don't answer that.

Church is batting .190!

Last night, predictably, Church went oh-for-four. As designated hitter.

Last night's lineup also included Lastings Milledge in left, Aki Iwamura at second, Ryan Doumit at first and Ryan Church at DH.

Milledge, Iwamura and Doumit can't field, and Church can't hit.

Additionally, for some reason, manager John Russell shifted Neil Walker from second base -- where he'd been playing extremely well and settling in very nicely -- to start at third in place of the slumping Andy LaRoche. Walker is still learning to play second, however, and there is no future on this team for Iwamura, whose natural position, by the way, is third base, so it would have been better to leave Walker at second.

Meanwhile, Delwynn Young -- who has "DH" written all over him -- sat on the the bench. Young, who offers a left-handed bat, would have made sense at DH against the right-handed Justin Verlander, but no. Ryan Church was the DH.

If the left-handed hitting Church had to the be in the lineup, it should have been in left field, instead of the right-handed Lastings Milledge, with Young at DH.

As noted on this blog several times, Lasting Milledge can barely play defense. Ryan Church is a better defensive outfielder, but neither he nor Milledge can hit.

This team that Neal Huntington constructed is a bunch of spare parts, misfits, role players, bench players, utility players, has-beens and never-was wannabes.

Ryan Church, batting .190, at DH. That says it all.

Meanwhile, Pedro Alvarez toils on for the Indianapolis Indians. Awful thought here, but what if he gets hurt this weekend? ... playing for the Indianapolis Indians?

Imagine the hue and cry. Neal Huntington would have to snake out of town. Maybe he should, anyway.

The the whole thing is absurd, ridiculous, disgusting, disturbing, humiliating, offensive and insulting.

Not to be redundant. It just is.

It Was 40 Years Ago Today: Dock Ellis In The Sky With Diamonds

"One time I covered first base, and I caught the ball and I tagged the base, all in one motion and I said, "Oh, I just made a touchdown."

-- Dock Ellis

You Tube Video / No Mas Presents:

Dock Ellis and the LSD No-No

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Transcript:

Dock Ellis in His Own Words

on Weekend America, American Public Media

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From MLB Fanhouse:

Forty Years Later, Time to Celebrate Dock Ellis' LSD No-Hitter

The 40-year anniversary of Dock Ellis' no-hitter, famously pitched while he was on LSD, falls on Saturday, June 12. In honor of one of the most astonishing feats in baseball history, and the release of Big Hair and Plastic Grass: A Funky Ride Through Baseball and America in the Swinging '70s by Dan Epstein, we bring you an excerpt from the book on Ellis:

Bowie Kuhn may have been appalled by Ball Four's tales of groupies and greenies, but the commissioner would have suffered a total cardiac if he'd realized what Dock Ellis was up to.

With the counterculture still on the rise in the wake of Woodstock, it was only a matter of time before it infiltrated the world between the foul lines -- and as befit a man whose name could be written out on a scorecard as "Ellis, D," the 25-year- old Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher loved nothing better than to spend his off-days tripping on acid in his psychedelically decorated basement while cranking Jimi Hendrix, Black Sabbath, and Iron Butterfly. But on the afternoon of June 12, 1970, just as his latest tab of Purple Haze was beginning to kick in, Ellis realized that he was actually supposed to be pitching in a few hours, in a ballpark 120 miles away.

The strange saga of Dock Ellis' LSD no-hitter actually began two days earlier, on Wednesday, June 10. The Pirates had just finished a series with the Giants in San Francisco and flown down to San Diego, where their four-game series against the Padres was scheduled to commence that Friday. A native of Los Angeles, Ellis decided to take advantage of his day off by dropping acid, renting a car and driving up to L.A. (apparently in that order) to see some pals. They spent Wednesday night smoking weed and drinking screwdrivers until the sun came up, whereupon Ellis finally crashed. Upon awakening, Ellis dropped another tab of acid; after all, he reasoned, he wasn't slated to pitch again until Friday. Unfortunately, as one of his friends soon informed him, it was Friday -- Ellis had completely slept through Thursday.

Somehow, Ellis' friend -- who also happened to be tripping -- managed to get the pitcher to LAX, where he caught a shuttle flight to San Diego. Arriving at the park about 90 minutes before first pitch, he popped several Benzedrine "white crosses" to try to even things out, and went to warm up in the bullpen.

Speaking to poet Donald Hall for his book, Dock Ellis in the Country of Baseball, Ellis recalled that the ball felt like a "very heavy volleyball," and that he figured he'd be lucky to last an inning.

Things got even weirder once he took the mound. The ball's size and weight kept changing, and at times Ellis couldn't make out his catcher, Jerry May, through the psychedelic fog -- but as long as Ellis could still see the reflective tape on May's fingers, he knew more or less where May's mitt would be.

For much of the game, Ellis had no idea what the score was, how many outs had been recorded, or how many runners were on base. He was wild, walking eight batters and hitting one, and the Padres -- who noticed that Ellis seemed oddly uninterested in holding runners at first -- stole three bases off him.

All Ellis cared about was throwing the ball "down the multi-colored path" to May. Baseball superstition dictates that whenever a pitcher is in the process of throwing a no-hitter, his teammates must refrain from speaking to him in the dugout, lest they jinx his effort. Ellis, completely unaware that he was racking up consecutive hitless innings, mistook his teammates' respectful distance for silent disapproval of his acid-fried state.

To combat his encroaching paranoia, he concentrated on painstakingly removing the mud from his cleats with a tongue depressor, and avoided any eye contact with the Pirates' players or coaches. Some sources claim that Pirates rookie Dave Cash committed a major faux pas by blithely informing Ellis halfway through the game that he was working on a no-hitter; others have said Ellis turned to Cash in the seventh and tempted fate with a shout of, "Hey look, I've got a no-no going!"

What's certain is that Ellis' concentration grew more laserlike as the game went on; after Willie Stargell put him up 2-0 in the seventh with his second solo shot off Padres pitcher Dave Roberts, Ellis allowed only one more baserunner over the three final innings. With two outs in the ninth, Ellis caught Padres pinch hitter Ed Spiezio looking on a 3-2 pitch, and baseball's only LSD-assisted no-hitter was in the bag, man.

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Excerpted from "Big Hair and Plastic Grass" by Dan Epstein. Copyright © 2010 by the author and reprinted by permission of Thomas Dunne Books, an imprint of St. Martin's Press, LLC.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Historically true to form and predictably enough, the Pirates are in full June Swoon mode.

The Pirates are in last place, 14 games under .500 and spiraling fast. They've lost five straight and are 3-11 in their in their last 14 games.

Tonight, they begin interleague play, which has been an abysmal sinkhole for the franchise. Since interleague play began, they're the worst at it. So, even as they continue on a pace to lose 108 games, it might get worse from here on out.

Like Pirates fans everywhere, we've been asking -- pleading -- what is management waiting for? Why are they waiting to call up Pedro Alvarez? One possible answer -- ugly and disturbing as it may be -- is raised by the Post-Gazette's Bob Smizik this morning:

"The Pirates are looking for a PNC Park debut for Alvarez and the additional ticket sales that would mean. ... what other explanation is there for Alvarez still playing at Indianapolis?"

That notion is so ridiculous and absurd that it never occurred to Joey Porter's Pit Bulls, naive as we are. It rings true, however, and it is so-o-o-o Pirates.

They're keeping Alvarez in Indianapolis so they can sell tickets for his major league debut at PNC Park.

Yeah, probably.

That's the only conclusion that makes sense, though it makes no sense at all in the pure baseball sense. Otherwise, he would be on a plane to Detroit and in the starting lineup at third base tonight against the Tigers. He's done more than enough in AAA, as Smizik points out:

"Alvarez is tearing up the International League. He drove in 30 runs last month. He’s hitting over .400 this month. The problem he had with left-handed pitching earlier in the season has disappeared. He was batting .322 against lefties before last night. He was third in home runs and RBIs in the International League.

"What makes it all the more obvious that the Pirates should recall Alvarez is the almost total lack of production they’re receiving from current third baseman Andy LaRoche.

After an excellent start, LaRoche has been abysmal. Since April 28, he’s batting .175 (21 for 120). He’s driven in seven runs during that span and has hit one homer -- on May 4. There is no reason for the Pirates to continue to play him with Alvarez waiting.

"Just about anyone would be an upgrade over LaRoche, but Alvarez has the potential to be a major middle-of-the-lineup force for the Pirates. That's why they took him with the second pick in the 2008 draft. That's why they paid him a $6 million bonus to sign. He has the look of a 3-4-5 hitter. With the Pirates, he could start off hitting sixth, behind Andrew McCutchen, Garrett Jones and Ryan Doumit, to lessen some of the pressure on him."

Welcome to The Show, Part Two

The Pirates showcased prized prospects Brad Lincoln and Jose Tabata in their respective major league debuts last night in Washington, with mixed but encouraging results for both players.

The Bucs' defense failed Lincoln, who made a few mistake pitches, including a first-inning bomb of a home run to Adam Dunn. Welcome to The Show, Brad Lincoln.

Tabata looked reasonably good at the plate and on the basepaths, but limped to the clubhouse after his final at-bat in the eighth inning. Supposedly he had a cramp that tightened, so he'll be day to day.

"Unbelievable," opined Bob Walk, the Pirates' understated and doleful "color" man on the televised broadcast. "Looks like his hamstring. Unbelievable."

As depressing as Walk's observation of Tabata's condition may have been for viewers at the end of the game, another of his statements before the game was downright alarming.

Speaking of Lincoln, finally making his first appearance in the majors four years into his professional career, Walk "talked up" Lincoln by noting:

"Lincoln doesn't have Stephen Strasburg's stuff. He doesn't have Strasburg's 99 mph fastball, his electric slider, his 12-to-6 curve, or his drop change.

"But Lincoln has good stuff. Lincoln's stuff is like Charlie Morton's"

-- "DING-DING-DING!" ... alarm bells going off --

Oh. Oh, great. Thanks, Bob, for that reassuring nugget about the pitcher the Pirates picked fourth overall in the draft four years ago, ahead of Tim Lincecum, now starring with the San Francsico Giants and winner of two Cy Young Awards, and uber-prospect Clayton Kershaw, now the brightest light in the Los Angeles Dodgers' rotation.

To say Lincoln has a repertoire of "stuff" (i.e., a mix of pitches, command, control, poise, etc.) like Charlie Morton's is damning with faint praise indeed.

Thanks, Bob, for the words of encouragement. Great. We have a lot to forward to. Haven't we suffered enough?

That's not Lincoln's fault. His pitching line from last night's game doesn't look all that great, but he did okay. Sort of, anyway, at least according to the Pirates' typically low expectations. Lincoln certainly could have benefited from better defense.

The Pirates' defensive follies included some tough plays that were, shall we say, uh ... not made. Not to single anybody out, but Lastings Milledge once again did what he does.

Gene Collier sums it up neatly in his column in today's Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

"Ian Desmond sliced a 1-0 pitch to right field into the vicinity of Lastings Milledge ... Milledge took a bending route to the baseball, punctuating the play by still another leave-your-feet-and-hope-to-make-the-top-10-plays dive, all of which resulted in another double."

Why does it seem that Milledge so frequently takes a "bending route to the baseball"? ... and so often comes up just short on so many diving attempts?

Even on the dramatic catch he made to seal the win over the Giants Saturday night at PNC Park, Milledge took "a typically circuitous path to the ball," as Joey Porter's Pit Bulls wrote following the game. Milledge does this all the time -- and then belly-flops -- but usually ends up with an empty glove.

Milledge just isn't a good fielder. In fact, he's barely adequate, if that. He has a strong arm but no instincts.

At the plate? Still looking for that first home run.

This from a corner outfielder? That's right up there with having a corner infielder, Andy LaRoche, with 11 RBIs. Eleven! Playing every day!! More than a third of the way through the season!!! ... which projects to maybe 33 RBIs for the season. Enough already!

Bring up Alvarez already, for crying out loud! What are they waiting for!!

As Collier wrote ...

"Top prospect Pedro Alvarez remains in Indianapolis, but with Lincoln, Tabata, and Neil Walker all finally in the lineup, you can almost see a plan.

"All this club needs now is a third baseman, a shortstop, a catcher, a right fielder, and two or three effective starting pitchers and hey, who knows?"

Welcome to The Show

Anybody who's watched the movie "Bull Durham" knows that Major League Baseball is, in some circles, called "The Show."

Welcome to The Show, Mr. Strasburg.

Hell, Steven Strasburg is the show.

He certainly was last night, as he put on quite a show vs. the Pirates on national television. In the most heralded major league pitching debut in generations, Strasburg lived up to the hype, and that may be an understatement. He played the Harlem Globetrotters to the Pirates' Washington Generals. In seven seemingly effortless innings, Strasburg struck out 14 Pirates, including the final seven he faced.

As columnist Gene Collier summarized in this morning's Pittsburgh Post-Gazette ...

"Strasburg dazzled an SRO crowd with 100-mph heat and the assured speed-changing guile of a 10-year major league veteran.

"He struck out every Pirate in the lineup.

"He struck out seven in a row as the Nationals closed the curtain after 94 pitches, costing him a chance to tie the big league record of 20, even as his manager later admitted he could have thrown 194."

Today, the Pirates welcome a couple of their own prospects to The Show: pitcher Brad Lincoln and outfielder Jose Tabata.

Lincoln is supposed to start this evening's game vs. the Nationals. Tabata apparently will play left field on at least a semi-regular basis, with Lastings Milledge moving to right and Garrett Jones to first base.

Jones will take over first in place of Jeff Clement, who joins Charlie Morton in exile in Indianapolis. It's possible neither Clement nor Morton will ever make it back to The Show.

Much is at Stake With This Huge Crapshoot Draft Choice of High School Pitcher Jameson Taillon

Give the Pirates credit for taking a HUGE risk in selecting high school pitcher Jameson Taillion their first-round pick and the second overall in yesterday's Major League Baseball draft.

The well-documented historical odds are against Taillon achieving great success in the majors, as a mere handful of prep school pitchers taken so high in the MLB draft have ever made it. The failures are more numerous, and more spectacular, than the few success stories

Still, the Pirates management team gulped hard and took Taillon over high school shortstop Manny Machado, whom many have compared to a young Alex Rodriguez. Machado almost certainly would have been the safer choice, and probably will arrive in the majors sooner than Taillon.

Taillon likely will take four or five years to reach the majors, and the Bucs' management team that selected him, including general manager Neal Huntington (in the last year of his contract, by the way), may not even be with the Pirates then.

Huntington called the choice "gut-wrenching." That indicates a lot of doubt, angst and anxiety. As a fan, that doesn't give me a lot of confidence.

The Pirates must have figured Taillon's tremendous talent, work ethic, pitch repertoire, quality character, imposing size and potential upside made him worth the massive risk. As a flamethrower from suburban Houston, the 17-year-old Taillon has already been likened to fellow Texans Nolan Ryan, Keyle Drabek and Josh Beckett, as noted by Jennifer Langosch on the Pirates' Web site ...

"Beckette is the pitcher Taillon calls his favorite; the Pirates are hoping similarities emerge between the two. It was Beckett whom the Marlins took with the No. 2 pick in the 1999 Draft, marking the last time a high school pitcher had been taken that high.

"And it is Beckett who has proven to be one of the few high school pitchers taken near the top to actually enjoy sustained success at the big league level. Sure, there have been recent exceptions, with Beckett, now with the Red Sox, and Royals ace Zack Greinke (No. 6, 2002) among the best examples. But for every player that has successfully made such a climb, dozens haven't panned out.

"It was because of such risk that the Pirates spent excessive hours identifying what traits Taillon shares with those pitchers who have succeeded. Scouting director Greg Smith, general manager Neal Huntington and the rest of the scouting department felt comfortable with what it found."

First, they'll have to sign Taillon to a contract.

Some skeptic will say part of the reason the Pirates passed on Machado may have been because he's represented by notoriously demanding super-agent Scott Boras. I don't think so. Taillon is represented by an equally notoriously difficult team, the hard-case Hendricks Brothers, who are likely to try to hold up the Pirates.

If the Bucs sign Taillon -- and that's not a given -- they will probably have to pay a franchise-record contract in excess of the $6 million they paid to Pedro Alvarez two years ago. It doesn't help that this year's first pick, phenom Bryce Harper -- the next Mickey Mantle -- will command (and receive) from the Washington Nationals an all-time record contract in excess of the $15 million the Nationals paid to last year's pitching phenom Steven Strasburg, who by the way -- in a neat bit of karmic symmetry -- makes his major league debut this evening against the Pirates in Washington, D.C.

Just guessing here, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Hendricks/Taillon team's bottom-line demand is at least $8 million -- and they'll probably start in the $12 million range with the expectation of landing at about $8 million or so. For all we know, they won't settle for less than half what Harper is likely to receive.

That's another reason the Pirates must have gulped hard before selecting Taillon -- these are going to be tough, tough negotiations.

If they don't sign him, they end up with egg on their face, more accusations of operating a nickel-dime operation on the cheap, of being unable to compete financially with other big-league organizations, of failing to grasp the big picture, and of putting finances ahead of competitive success on the field.

Much is at stake here: It's a HUGE risk, and no slam dunk that they will sign Taillon.

If he doesn't sign, he will go to Rice University, which is in his hometown of Houston, is a baseball powerhouse, and an academically excellent university. That last point is important to Taillon and his family.

As Jen Langosch wrote, "The youngest of four children, Taillon has a sister in law school, a brother beginning his medical school residency and another brother who is a Ph.D. candidate. Taillon, himself, has dreamed of attending Rice University since he was nine, and began realizing that dream when he committed to the academically strong university as a sophomore."

So, going to Rice has supposedly long been a dream of Taillon's, so, presumably it is an option -- and, again, Rice has a solid tradition of being a perennial college baseball powerhouse.

And he simply would re-enter the MLB draft next year.

The Pirates have rolled the dice. It's a huge crapshoot, and it will be a long, long time before this particular roll of the dice stops tumbling -- and either pays out or craps out.

Everybody will be watching.

An Eventful Week Ahead

Today, the Pirates are 10 games under .500 in a weak NL Central. Amazingly, they are ahead of two teams in the division, Milwaukee and Houston, and "only" 9.5 games behind first-place Cincinnati. Too bad the Pirates couldn't pull out a win yesterday vs. the Giants. Several key plays turned the game in the Giants' favor.

• Lastings Milledge made a diving attempt at a shallow hit to left but couldn't catch it. Despite his wonderful catch on Saturday night, he just isn't very good in the field. He seems to break late on most balls hit his way, and he doesn't always take the most direct route to the ball. He seems to flail around out there a lot, and he also seems to come up just short all too often. His whiff yesterday led to a run for the Giants. Too bad.

• Octavio Dotel struggled (sort of) for the second game in a row. Might this turn into a pattern? Let's hope not.

• After surrendering a double to the Gianmts' Andres Torres, Dotel threw a wild pitch that advanced Torres to third, from where he scored the winning run on Freddy Sanchez's sacrifice fly.

• Relief pitcher Javier Lopez dropped a soft toss at first for an error, which led to two unearned runs.
  

• The Giants stole five bases, which didn't help.
  

• Finally, poor Jeff Clement was just awful at the plate, again, and I am actually starting to feel bad for him. He went 0-5 and left five runners in scoring position, including the potentially game-tying and game-winning runs at second and third to end the game. Too bad for him, really. His oh-fer yesterday may solidify the Pirates' next move with him, which would (should) be a return to the minors when Steve Pearce returns from the disabled list. Clement has an option left that would allow him to go to Indianapolis without having to go through waivers. The Post-Gazette reports that Clement has been working probably harder than anybody else, both on his fielding (which has been okay, actually) and his hitting (which has been non-existent). Evidently, he needs to relax and get his game together with some regular playing time in the minors.

We have an eventful week this week:

• The Bucs play an afternoon make-up game vs. the Cubs today at PNC Park, with Dana Eveland making his Bucs' debut.
  

• The MLB draft is this evening, with the Bucs picking second and likely to take high school shortstop Manny Machado, by most indications, although Huntington mysteriously alluded to "a college arm." His repeated reference to "a college arm" seemed strange because he openly acknowledged that he Pirates' short list of potential draftees includes Bryce Harper (whom the Nationals will select ahead of the Pirates), Machado and Jameson Taillon, the hard-throwing high school pitcher. The mysterious "college arm" might be Drew Pomeranz, but it could be somebody else, too. Since the Pirates have the second pick and everyone knows Washington will draft Harper -- and, unlike the NFL, MLB teams cannot trade their draft picks -- it seems kind of pointless for Huntington to be coy about identifying the "college arm," but there it is.

• Washington's Steven Strasburg makes his MLB debut tomorrow night vs. the Bucs on national television. Should be interesting. Jeff Karstens goes for us.

• Brad Lincoln appears likely to start on Wednesday evening in Washington. It's about time.
  

More roster moves soon?

• Neal Huntington on his radio show yesterday didn't come out and say it, but it sure sounds as if Aki Iwamura isn't long for this team. Nothing definite -- maybe they'll put him on the disabled list for a while -- that's kind of the vague impression I got from listening to Huntington.

• Pedro Alvarez has been hitting well of late, but not at all against lefties. Jose Tabata, too. Perhaps neither player will come up to Pittsburgh before the All-Star Break, but it's possible we will see them both in Pirates' uniforms before the end of June.

The Draft

Some people wonder why some other people (like me) take an interest in the draft (NFL and MLB alike). Well, frankly, I don't have much of a life, but really it's all about ...

Hope. That's why. The draft signifies hope. The drama and side stories are interesting, too, but it boils down to hope for better days ahead, sooner or later.

SI.com's Albert Chen has a terrific article on the MLB draft and how franchises like the Pirates now view it as a means to equalize talent efficiently. Chen cites Mike Leake, Cincinnati's terrific rookie pitcher, as an example of how teams are more willing now to give younger players a chance sooner than later. Good for the Reds.

Chen also quotes Neal Huntington, Pirates general manager, extensively. Give the Pirates credit for finally -- finally, 10 years after signing Derek Bell [but that's another story] -- getting it. Putting their limited resources into the draft, scouting, player development, training facilities, the minor leagues and Latin America: That's the way for them to build long-term. That's the only way for the Bucs to build a sustained winning operation. They can't do it with broken-down free agents -- which is what they've been trying to do for all too long, and we all know the names.

Let's hope the Pirates choose well this draft.

A Lastings Impression

Well, that was entertaining!

Lastings Milledge made what the San Francisco Chronicle's Henry Schulman described as "one of the best game-ending catches in recent memory" to save a 6-3 Pirates win over the Giants before a Fireworks Night sellout crowd at PNC Park.

Writing in this morning's Chronicle, Schulman sets the scene ...

"Down 6-0 after four innings and 6-2 entering the ninth, the Giants scored against closer Octavio Dotel on a two-out single by Andres Torres and had the bases loaded when Freddy Sanchez blasted a drive over left fielder Lastings Milledge's head.

"Had it fallen behind Milledge, three runs would have scored to tie the game 6-6.

"However, in one of the best game-ending catches in recent memory, Milledge dived at the wall and snagged it."

For a moment, Milledge was clearly unsure whether he'd caught Sanchez's drive, which tailed away from him as he lunged with a diving, backhand stab at the ball -- which snow-coned from the top of the glove for a split-second.

Sprawled flat on his belly across the warning track, Milledge checked his glove, flashed a triumphant grin toward the infield -- and pulled the ball free to hold it aloft with his right hand, as if to say. "Look what I found!"

Milledge's catch overshadowed excellent games at the plate by Andrew McCutchen (home run, two doubles and a single), Ryan Doumit (home run, double, 4 RBIs) , Neil Walker (triple, single, walk) and on the mound by Paul Maholm (6.1 IP, 2 runs, 6 hits).

For all that, Milledge stole the show. His catch was the No. 1 "Play of the Day" on ESPN's SportsCenter, it was the brightest moment in recent Pirates' history, and it sent the sellout crowd home happy. No wisecracks, please. Yeah, the Pirates almost blew a four-run lead for the second consecutive night. Yeah, so Milledge took a typically unsteady and somewhat ciruitous route to the ball before diving to catch it. Yeah, whatever.

It was a great catch, and a good win: A much-needed, feel-good win.

Riddle Me This

First, off: Welcome Back, Freddy Sanchez, one of my favorite all-time Pirates, and that's saying something. A very, very good player and an even better person.

Case in point: While with the Pirates, Sanchez donated $50,000 of his own money to build a ball-field for special-needs kids, and that's just one of many, many contributions he made (quietly) to charitable causes. The San Francisco Giants and their fans are lucky to have him.

Speaking of the Giants, they're in Pittsburgh for a weekend series, which brings our discussion to their brightest prospect, Buster Posey, who played first base last night and went two for four at the plate.

What makes this germane to Pirates' talk is a question: Where is Pedro Alvarez? For that matter, where is Brad Lincoln? Where is Jose Tabata? Where is Danny Moskos? Oh, sorry, touchy subject, that last one.

Where are our bright prospects? What do we have to get excited about?

Anyway, back to Posey, whom the Giants plucked in the same 2008 Major League Baseball Draft as Alvarez. The Giants selected Posey secret three picks after Alvarez, and Posey received an even higher signing bonus ($6.2 million) than Alvarez ($6 million).

Whatever.

The point is, Posey is off to a good start in the majors, and Alvarez is still in the minors. It would be nice if we had our own emerging star to showcase this weekend -- no disrespect to Neil Walker, who is off to a great start and made a SportsCenter highlight catch in the field last night.

What are the Pirates waiting for? What are they clinging to?

Whatever. The Giants get to showcase their phenom, Buster Posey. The Pirates, playing at home, "showcase" Andy LaRoche at third base instead of Alvarez.

On Tuesday, the Pirates will face the Washington Nationals and their own phenom, Steven Strasburg, who was selected first overall in last year's MLB draft. By all accounts, Strasburg is The Next Great Pitcher, the real deal, a combination of Nolan Ryan, Bob Gibson and Tom Seaver.

So, the Nationals will get to showcase Steven Strasburg. The Pirates will "showcase" journeyman pitcher Jeff Karstens, who is barely in the rotation.

It would be nice if the Pirates had the cojones to have brought up Brad Lincoln, a former No. 1 draft choice to start Tuesday's game vs. Strasburg.

It would be nice for Pirates' fans to have something to look forward to, with Alvarez at third base and Lincoln on the mound in a national-spotlight game that will be the lead story on ESPN, the MLB Network and in baseball coverage across the nation.

At least, we'd have something to get semi-excited about, other than the possibility of Strasburg throwing a no-hitter.

Not to digress, but since the Giants are in town, it's worth noting that the Pirates selected the aforementioned Brad Lincoln ahead of San Francisco's Tim Lincecum, who has won two Cy Young awards already in his brief major-league career. Lincoln remains in the minors. Not to be bitter.

Ironic, isn't it, that the Pirates reportedly passed on Lincecum because of concerns about Lincecum's durability? Lincoln, of course, went on the injury list almost immediately after the Pirates selected him.

Again, whatever. It was a previous management regime (The Dave Littlefield Reign of Terror) that selected Lincoln over Lincecum.

It was the Safe Choice.

And that has been -- and continues to be --the Pirates' Way in this, the Dark Ages of the history of the Pittsburgh Baseball Club. How else to explain keeping Alvarez in the minors, at this point, or Brad Lincoln, or outfielder Jose Tabata? It's the Safe Choice, the safe thing to do. We wouldn't want to risk failure, God forbid. We wouldn't want to harm their fragile psyches.

For the Pirates, making the Safe Choice means selecting reliever Danny Moskos (currently pitching for the Altoona Curve at the AA minor league level) with the fourth overall pick in the 2007 MLB draft over catcher Matt Wieters (taken with the fifth pick and now starting at catcher for the Baltimore Orioles) or, for that matter, power-hitting outfielder Jason Heyward (taken 14th overall and who, now at 20 years of age, currently rates as the clear Rookie of the Year in major league baseball).

This is beating a dead horse, of course, but ... to anybody but the Pirates' management team, Wieters was the obvious choice in that draft. Ironically, Wieters actually would have been, truly, the safe choice, but Littlefield claimed the Pirates (inexplicably, but evidently for monetary purposes) had Moskos rated higher than Wieters.

It's worth noting with the benefit of hindsight that Heyward was no secret at the time, either, and was "in the discussion" during the days and weeks preceding that draft. It's always fun to second-guess, but second-guessing doesn't lessen the pain of being a Pirates fan and wondering, "What if ... ?"

Granted, the baseball draft is nothing like the NFL draft, where teams draft players with the expectation that the first pick almost certainly will contribute immediately. Except in rare cases such as Strasburg or Cincinnati's rookie pitcher Mike Leake (who went directly to the majors), it takes two or three years (Posey, Wieters, Heyward), or six or seven (Neil Walker is a case in point, through no fault of his own) for most baseball draft picks to make it to the majors.

Whatever.

The question is, where are those Pirates' draft picks from the last few years? Where's Alvarez? Lincoln? Moskos? Granted, they may be on the near horizon, with Alvarez, Lincoln and Tabata almost certain to arrive in Pittsburgh by the mid-July All-Star break.

Still. As the Pirates stumble along toward another 95-loss season, throw us a bone. Really, what are the Pirates waiting for?

Oh, and one other thing: The 2010 MLB draft is next week. The Pirates pick second, after the Washington Nationals, who will select this year's phenom, Bryce Harper, the next Mickey Mantle.

For the Pirates, naturally, there is no consensus, clear-cut choice to be made at No. 2. Just their luck. Their options appear to be a high-school shortstop and a handful of pitchers.

They'll probably make the safe choice. Whatever. It will take years for that player to arrive.

In the meantime, we'll get to watch Steven Strasburg next week, and Bryce Harper next year, and Buster Posey and Tim Lincecum this weekend with the Giants.

Freddy Sanchez, too.

Well, that's something. Welcome back, Freddy.

Congrats, Neil Walker

Neil Walker is a breath of fresh air. Let's hope he keeps it going.

Walker is still learning to play second base, but he sure looks comfortable at the plate, with last night's eighth-inning game-winning homer in the eighth inning being just the latest example.

Perhaps the most successful catcher-to-second baseman conversion project was Craig Biggio. It's too soon to start making those comparisons, but so far, so good, except for that new mustache Walker is sporting. He should shave.

Walker's on-field performance, though, is encouraging, as Dejan Kovacevic noted by today's Post-Gazette ...

"If it were an isolated swing, it would ring so much more hollow than the reality: Walker is batting .312 in his eight games since being recalled from Class AAA Indianapolis, including four doubles and now the home run. He has been good enough that it took a week for management to reverse course on a plan to use him in a "corner-utility role," as general manager Neal Huntington had called it, and supplant a $4.85 million second baseman in Aki Iwamura.

"It appears to be a vital part of the Pirates' future."

You gotta feel good for him. Walker's produced and has injected some much-needed life into the team and, yes, its fan base.

As for the rest of last night's game, it could easily have had a different ending, due to yet another edition of "Pirates Base-running Follies". I haven't heard or read anything from the third-base coach on the absurd Milledge-Karstens base-running debacle.

Although it was hit to left-center, the ball Milledge hit had "triple" written all over it once it got past the center fielder. On the other hand, the play was in front of him all the way, as he approached second and the ball was in left-center. Fundamentals, my friend.

Soriano hustled to the ball and launched a nice, quick-release throw directly to the cut-off man, who fired a perfect strike to third. Maybe it's not Milledge's fault -- or anybody's fault, really -- except, the Cubs executed perfectly. Too bad, however, that we didn't have the benefit of a camera tracking Milledge rounding the bases from the batter's box all the way to third.

Maybe Milledge is just a slow runner. Could be. My impression has been that he has average to above-average speed for a major league outfielder. On the other hand, I've seen instances of him trying to to get to balls in the outfield, and it seems like he never out-runs a ball ... nor did he outrun that throw last night. As a pure sprinter, Cutch he ain't, but that might be too much to ask. He might just be slow afoot. One less tool in the so-called five tools toolbox, and he's already missing about three of those ballyhooed tools.

Walker bailed 'em out, though, so all's well that ends well.

June 1 is here ...

Now THAT was a quality start!

In seven innings of quality pitching yesterday vs. the Chicago Cubs at at PNC Park, Ross Ohlendorf allowed just three hits and two walks while striking out six. A legitimate "quality start."

Ohlendorf would have -- should have -- had a seven-inning shutout, but left-fielder Ryan Church blundered into Andrew McCutchen's path on an eminently catchable fly ball hit deep to the left-fied notch, although replays showed McCutchen had a bead on it and was clearly shouting, "I got it I got it, I got it!"

Anybody who has ever played little-league ball, knows that's the center fielder's play. But, no, once again we see a lack of fundamentals at the major league level. Church nearly ran into McCutchen and distracted him enough that the ball fell in for what should have ruled a three-base error and an unearned run. The official scorer ruled it a triple, however, the Cubs took a 1-0 lead, and Ohlendorf's ERA took an undeserved run allowed.

Church made amends, of sorts, later in the game, with a fine shoestring catch, which was followed immediately by another defensive gem by McCutchen. Andy LaRoche turned in a stellar defensive play with a SportsCenter Top 10 Highlight that was the play of the game and saved the win.

Not much offense yesterday, but it was good to see the Pirates play solid defense and turn in a generally well-played game. They were overdue, and Ohlendorf's performance on the mound keyed the win. Hopefully, he's on track and will continue pitching well.

Inexplicably, the Pirates are 6-1 vs. the Cubs this year. Let's hope it continues tonight, weather permitting.

June 1 is here. Will the call-ups follow?

The Pirates' minor-league acquisition yesterday of a 30-year-old AAA centerfielder, Jonathon Van Every, from Boston, would seem to indicate more moves to follow. Van Every bats left, throws left and was with the major league Red Sox team this season as a fill-in, pinch-hitting/defensive sub role (he actually hit a home run for the Sox). Here is some more information on Van Every, who was in the Pirates' system briefly last year ...

Scouting Report: center fielder with a good arm and a great glove. Average bat, speed, and on base ability. Has shown flashes of above average power, but not consistently throughout his career. Hits to all fields. Streaky at the plate, but generally has a good hitting approach. Provides outfield depth with some options, Van Every will likely be insurance for Boston while roaming the outfield in McCoy. Able to play center and left, but hasn't spent a lot of time in right field.

http://www.soxprospects.com/players/vanevery-jonathan.htm

Van Every played for Indianpolis last night. Might his acquisition be a precursor to, say, a call-up of outfielder Jose Tabata? Could be just the start of some fairly major roster shuffling. It will be interesting to see how it all shakes out.

The Pirates made it official yesterday: Neil Walker is now the regular starting second baseman, and Aki Iwamura has been relegated to the bench. At a salary of $4.85 million, Iwamura is one very expensive backup infielder. He may not be long for this team and looks like the odd man out when Pedro Alvarez gets promoted. Bobby Crosby gives them much more versatility as a utility player, and who knows what they're going to do with Andy LaRoche when Alvarez joins the team.

This roster is a mish-mash of bit pieces and spare parts, and Huntington clearly made some very expensive, "payroll-costly" mistakes by trading for Iwamura and signing the now-departed Ramon Vasquez.

The Post-Gazette's Dejan Kovacevic notes the following regarding a couple of the monetarily costly moves made by Neil Huntington -- moves that helped neither the baseball club on the field nor Bob Nutting's bottom line ...

"Iwamura, 31, is the Pirates' highest-paid player at $4.85 million, and no team would take him in a trade. He still could be released -- someone will have to go when injured first baseman Steve Pearce returns, and when Alvarez and outfielder Jose Tabata are promoted -- but that would be an especially bitter pill for management, given that infielder Ramon Vazquez was released this spring at a cost of $2 million. If Iwamura were released today, he would be owed $3.29 million for the rest of the season."

Happy Memorial Day: The Bucs are now at 11 Ggames under .500, and it's not even June

The Pirates concluded their road trip predictably, with yet another loss, which made them 1-6 on this trip to Cincinnati and Atlanta.

It was a well-played game for a while, but the Pirates aren't going to win many games scoring just two runs.

Mustering just four hits for the entire game, they made Braves starter Kenshin Kawakami look good. The following is from the Post-Gazette's wrap-up:

"The Pirates weren't able to muster anything except a Garrett Jones single for five innings against Braves starter Kenshin Kawakami, who opened this season with seven consecutive defeats and a loser in nine consecutive decisions. He had gone 16 games, nine losses, one blown save and a save since his last previous victory, Aug. 31, 2009 at Florida. His last previous home victory was more than a year earlier, May 22, 2009 against Toronto. The Pirates have lost 29 of 31 games this season when they trailed after six innings."

As lame as the offense was today, what I found puzzling was how manager John Russell, in a one-run game, let Joel Hanrahan go out for a second inning after he'd pitched a 1-2-3 inning -- the very day after the exact same maneuver backfired, with the only difference being it was Hanrahan today and Brendan Donnelly last night. Weird symmetry, if nothing else, and deja vu all over again.

Maybe it's not Russell's fault -- at some point, the players have to perform -- but in his second inning, Hanrahan walked two batters, then was replaced by Javier Lopez. It was all over soon enough, as Jason Heyward crushed a Lopez meatball for a two-run triple into the left-center gap.

Watching that at-bat, it was clear catcher Jason Jaromillo set up way outside for the pitch Heyward slammed for a the game-breaking hit. So, what does Lopez do? He throws it right down the middle and, if anything a bit inside, as Jaromillo actually was lunging back toward Heyward and turning his glove backhand to snare the pitch that Heyward crushed -- right on the barrel of the bat. Heyward wasn't about to miss that mistake, and it was all over.

Game, set, match.

It's the Cubs tomorrow in an afternoon Memorial Day game at PNC Park. Enjoy the game and the Memorial Day holiday -- hopefully, you have the day off, as holidays are supposed to be.

Steelers Off-season Leaves the Pirates

Not much in the way of Steelers-related news to discuss. OTA's resume next week. So, what. Pig Ben's been cleared to return to team activities. Big whoop. Who will get more snaps, Byron Leftwich or Dennis Dixon? Who cares: It's May.

That leaves us the Pirates for pointless, gum-flapping discussion. Sigh ... as cartoon character Charlie Brown would say.

Perennial losers (for 18 years in a row), the Pirates nevertheless bear a proud tradition spanning more than 110 years and six World Series championships (1903, 1909, 1925, 1960, 1971, 1979).

Today, however, they are a laughingstock. They remain fascinating to watch and follow, if only because of their continuing ineptitude. It's sad, but entertaining and irresistable in a perverse way. Maddening, too, if you're a Pirates fan.

Shaky start by Zach Duke last night, again. He's had a weird season, and not all that good, either, as the Post-Gazette notes in today's game story ...

"Duke has lost five of his past eight starts. And it was the early damage that continued to trouble him. Of the 41 runs he has allowed this season, 17 have come in the first and second innings."

Speaking of pitchers, or alleged pitchers, there's something funny going on with this whole Charlie Morton business. During his latest, abysmal start vs. the Reds on Thursday night, Bob Walk (color commentator on the team's TV broadcast crew) insisted that Morton's stuff is as good as Cincinnati's Johnny Cueto's. And, after the game, Reds' shortstop Orlando Cabrera expressed disbelief that Morton was 1-9, according to the Post-Gazette:

Count Cincinnati shortstop Orlando Cabrera among those incredulous at Morton's record.

"I'm really surprised because, to me, he's the best pitcher on that staff," Cabrera said. "He's got the best stuff. What is he, 1-8?"

Cabrera was told it was 1-9. "That's unbelievable."

The question is this: If he has a sore shoulder or "shoulder fatigue," as John Russell described it, how is it that he still has "good stuff"? ... how is it that he's able to consistently hit the mid-nineties on the radar gun? Another thing to belie the notion that his shoulder is the problem -- and not something else like, say, his psyche -- is the fact he's been awful since he donned a Pirate uniform.

Charlie Morton reminds me of the long-forgotten, once-ballyhooed pitcher the Pirates obtained from the Giants in the Jason Schmidt trade in 2001 ... Ryan Vogelsong, who was last seen pitching in Japan, I believe.

Morton's pitching has been awful pretty much from the day he became a Pirate. Remember the game he pitched in Wrigley last season, when it was 10-0 Cubs before you could blink an eye? Was his shoulder sore then?

I doubt it.

And I doubt that he has a sore shoulder now. I am inclined to agree with local sports-talk radio host Mike Logan, a former Steelers defensive back, who said he believes Pirates management ("Nero" Huntington and John "Blind Jack" Russell) sat Morton down after his start vs. the Reds the other night and had a conversation that went something like this:

"Son, your shoulder's sore, isn't it?"

"No, it feels fine."

"Charlie. Your shoulder. It's sore."

"Really, sir, I feel fine."

"No, Charlie. You don't feel fine. Your shoulder. It's sore. You have -- what shall we call it? -- 'arm fatigue.' You're hurting. Get it? So ... we're putting you on the 15-day disabled list and then giving you some rehab starts in the minors after that. We'll see how it goes from there."

"Oh. I see. Okay."

Putting Morton on the disabled list buys team management some time to figure out what to do with him, but he is only one of many, many problems the Pirates have.

The offense is still putrid, although Neil Walker has hit with confidence and authority since being promoted, so at least he is showing some promise.

Still, the offense is awful, as noted in this bizarre stat cited in today's Post-Gazette:

"With Atlanta pitcher Derek Lowe rapping a double and scoring twice, opposing pitchers continued to rack up hits -- at a rate where their .250 average surpasses the Pirates' own averages at first base, second, third and left field. That's .006 or less from topping their totals at shortstop and right field, too. So that's six positions of eight where opposing pitchers have a higher average."

That's an indictment of the Pirates' woeful pitching and anemic hitting.

Very bizarre.

This road trip is turning out just as I thought it would:

"The Pirates lost their fourth of five games on this road trip and seventh of nine games in their recent slide.

"They are back to losing big, too: Outside of their pair of one-run victories in that span, they have dropped the other seven games by a combined 41-16."

On and on it goes.

June 1 is right around the corner, and the call-ups will begin, presumably, along with the correlating roster moves. Bye, Aki, and sayonara. It was nice knowing you.

The bigger question is, who gets called up? ... Brad Lincoln? Certainly, and probably early next week. Jose Tabata? Maybe soon, but who will he replace in the lineup? Lastings Milledge, presumably, although they might like to give hm more time. Plus, Tabata has shown no more power than Milledge, and they need power more than anything else.

Which brings us to ...

The big name, of course: Pedro Alvarez. The team might wait until later in the summer to call up Alvarez. It would be the Pirates' kind of thing to do. Granted, he still has aspects of his game (hitting for average, hitting against lefties, and fielding) to work on. Not that he can't work on them in the majors, but that would less than ideal.

In the meantime, they still want to see what they have in Jeff Clement, as well as well as Milledge and Andy LaRoche. They've all shown some signs of life, sporadically, but each still has much to prove.

Really, most fans will say they might as well bring Alvarez up on June 1, and they're right. Really, why wait? Bring him up, for crying out loud, and see what the kid can bring to the table.

This team, like so many Pirates teams of the past 18 years, is full of holes, question marks, bit pieces and mismatched, misplaced parts. The only truly legitimate major league player they have, who can start for most other major league teams, is Andrew McCutchen. Maybe Garrett Jones, too, oh yeah, probably Ryan Doumit, but they are likely to trade Doumit between now and July 31.

The Pirates have no bonafide players at any other position, certainly not at second base, shortstop, third base, first base and left field. That's a lot of holes to fill, and a lot of movable parts.

The Jeff Clement/Lastings Milledge equation is the linchpin here. They have to make a decision on one or the other of them pretty soon, if they are going to free up playing time for Tabata. If Clement is the odd man out, then maybe Jones moves to first base, and Tabata plays right field with Milledge continuing in left.

If they decide they want to see more of Clement, they'll keep him at first base for a while and keep playing Jones in right field, with Tabata in left. Too bad they traded Nyjer Morgan.

As for where Alvarez might fit in, he has played exclusively at third base and that they want to keep him there (as opposed to trying him out at first base). Andy LaRoche may be the odd man out, then, when Alvarez comes up. I don't think LaRoche can play shortstop -- his range is too limited (but, then again, Tim Foli never had much range, although he handled it just fine and made a very nice career at shortstop).

Anyway, if Walker continues to play second base (with Aki gone, obviously), there's no place for LaRoche -- unless they decide to cut Bobby Crosby and make LaRoche the utility infielder -- which, in the Pirates' case, might be better labeled, the "futility infielder."

Some moves will be made soon, in any case, and it will be interesting to see how it all plays out. Oh, and remember Brandon Moss? We're not likely to see him again in a Pirates uniform, so if LaRoche doesn't pan out, that Jason Bay trade looks worse and worse.

It will be interesting to see who they will select in the upcoming amateur draft. Most reports project the Nationals will draft Bryce Harper, the power-hitting phenom, and the Pirates are projected to draft a high school shortstop by the name of Manny Machado. He'll be at least three years away from helping the major league club, however, so there's not too much to get excited about there.

Not much to get excited about here, either. On that note, we leave you with our word of the day: "Ryan Vogelsong".